Last Thing You'll Do
by Calliope-plantain
Summary: Regina could say her life was perfect… and then it got turned upside down. *Established Swan Queen*
1. Prologue

**Title: **Last Thing You'll Do

**Author**: Calliope-plantain

**Rating:** M

**Pairing:**Regina/Emma

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Once. All characters in this story sadly do not belong to me; they're simply being borrowed for a little while, and then will be returned. This story was not written for profit and no copyright infringements are intended.

**Storyline:** Regina could say her life was perfect… and then it got turned upside down.

**Author's Note:**This story is largely based on a dream I had.

**Beta: **Scarlet-Marauder awesomely encouraged me to write this, and then was my beta. So any mistakes she's missed are her fault ;)

"_The next heart you crush will be mine" – 45-Spacer._

Two hours! That maddening woman was two hours late. The former mayor knew from her years in office, work frequently overran. The sheriff position was no exception. That wasn't what was infuriating Regina. Their rule was if Emma was to be late she would contact herself or Henry in advance if possible, which it usually was. Tonight was Henry's night out at his grandparents', leaving the two women to their evening alone. It wasn't a luxury they were used to having, and such the brunette had decided to make the night special.

Emma was always home at five, sometimes even earlier if like this evening Henry was going to be away. Counting on Emma's love for food and sex Regina prepared their meal for the exactly five o'clock, and had waited in an elegant dress and designer heels near the door to greet her lover. However Emma had not shown. Which was why at seven o'clock at night Regina was sat in her beautiful but simple black dress, tracing the rim of her wine glass; the only hint of her home made meal left upon the table. An hour earlier, after at least six missed calls to the absent woman Regina had put their meal in fridge.

The whole mansion looked much the same as it always had, though the feeling being home had never been stronger for the former queen. She finally had her family, her happy ending. The people of Storybrooke had shown their excitement and relief at the group's safe return from Neverland by throwing a party in Granny's. Several hours in had found Regina and Emma sharing their first kiss. Once the shock and slight awkwardness of encounter had subsided and if she was honest persistence of a certain blonde she's agreed to their first date.

It hadn't taken long for the people of Storybrooke to find out about their secret relationship; two months to be exact. Hardly surprising when Emma kept breaking their no "Public Display of Affection" rule, nor when Regina didn't have it in her to mind. Another three months had found the town's sheriff moving in with Regina and their son. A year and half after that first fateful kiss, Regina could say her life was perfect.


	2. Chapter 1

**Title: **Last Thing You'll Do

**Author**: Calliope-plantain

**Rating:** M

**Pairing:**Regina/Emma

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Once. All characters in this story sadly do not belong to me; they're simply being borrowed for a little while, and then will be returned. This story was not written for profit and no copyright infringements are intended.

**Storyline:** Regina could say her life was perfect… and then it got turned upside down.

**Author's Note:**This story is largely based on a dream I had.

**Beta: **Scarlet-Marauder awesomely encouraged me to write this, and then was my beta. So any mistakes she's missed are her fault ;)

"_The next heart you crush will be mine" – 45-Spacer._

The gentle opening and closing of the front door might as well have been slammed as the noise carried through the silent house. Regina stiffened, bracing herself for the inevitable row that was about to explode once the blonde reached the kitchen. The older woman could hear each movement Emma made in her journey towards her position, each step getting louder the closer she got.

The dishevelled Sheriff appeared in the doorway, now her signature red jacket and boots shred, Regina assumed in their rightful places. Emma looked exhausted. The former queen had watched her love get more tired and stressed as her work load had increased in the last month. That stress and anxiety had manifested in tension headaches in the young blonde, something Regina was well accustomed to in her days as Mayor. Snow made no exceptions or allowances for her daughter now she had taken the position of Mayor. Emma was her town's Sheriff and would do the work that was needed, even if the result was the drained woman stood in their doorway.

Regina allowed herself a moment to enjoy the other woman's presence; nearly two years together hadn't lessened the feelings of butterflies at seeing the woman she loved. The moment however passed as she remembered her irritation. Emma had been working herself to the bone, and Regina had wanted to make the night special. Make Emma feel special and looked after. Loved. And the woman hadn't turned up! "You're late" Regina stated her tone carrying years of authority.

Emma seemed to sag slightly against the door frame, it now keeping her up. "I know. Sorry, I didn't expect things to go on so long" the blonde explained looking genuinely guilty.

"What's our rule, dear?" Regina asked ignoring the fatigued stance of the other woman. She wouldn't be angry for long. Emma had softened her, depending who you asked; both for better and worse. The "Evil Queen" had been tamed, and right now it wasn't something Regina was too happy about. The blonde had done something wrong and would be held responsible…for now.

"I know… You know what Mary Margaret has been like lately. Things just got the better of me and before I knew it I was late. I didn't mean to be", Emma explained; it seemed missing the point of this faux interrogation.

"What is our rule Miss Swan", she repeated her tone even to her own ears sounded deadly. "If you had better things to do all you had to do is call. You should have called to inform me that you wouldn't be here on time. I wouldn't have put the effort into a meal for us both, had I known you did not want to be here", Regina's voice commanding an almost lethal calm, while she felt her heart pound in her chest.

Emma seemed to sag under scrutiny; her arms were tightly crossed across her chest. Regina saw the moment the blonde cracked. Instead of Emma crumbling beneath her regal glare, she saw the flame erupt in the blonde's returning glower. "It's Miss Swan now? Sorry I don't think so. We haven't travelled back three years, just because I wasn't here exactly on time. As for _rules_? I wasn't aware I was in a relationship with my mother, Regina. I'm not five! I've said I'm sorry damn it. I didn't mean to be this late. Of course I wanted to be here!" Emma all but screamed at her. For a moment it felt good. Emma had always been her equal in their arguments. She had been the first person to challenge her, to stand up to her in almost thirty years.

The buzz of the argument however fizzled out as soon as it had come following the blonde's next words, "I didn't want to ruin your meal… I'm so sorry". Her voice cracking, whether with emotion or tiredness Regina didn't know. The teeth worrying the Sheriff's bottom lip suggested the former.

Rising from her seat Regina couldn't help but shake her head. "It's not ruined. It can be warmed. It wasn't my meal Emma", she explained emphasising the blonde's name. No she was no longer "Miss Swan" though Regina did sometimes revisit the name in the bedroom quite enjoying the effect it had on the younger woman. "I know how hard you've been working and I wanted to do something special for you. Give you the night off…to be taken care of", the brunette continued, coming to a standstill in front of the blonde. She could feel the static pouring from the other woman.

"I'm worried for you. You're working too hard and it's damaging your health" Regina explained slowly as if to a small child; she heard Emma's small sigh. The older woman risked placing her hand upon the blonde's forearm and was relieved to see it wasn't shrugged away. It was an argument which had been boiling away quietly for almost a month now both skirting the issue when possible in fear of the fallout. On the whole the brunette had kept her mouth shut, but it was becoming clear the work load was having a toll on Emma's physical and emotional state. "Have you considered asking your mother for some time off…reduced hours maybe?" Regina supplied gently knowing she was treading on very thin ice.

Once again Emma's emotions came crashing down upon her. "Ask for … are you kidding me Regina? I'm not incapable of doing my job", the other woman all but screamed at her. The former queen couldn't help but finch slightly at the look on Emma's face. Hurt, anger, and irritation to name a few of the emotions she could see and name. "I'm not going to skip off work just because I have a headache" Emma stated incredulously.

Regina fought the urge to clench the arm in her grip. She was inches away from throwing the woman backwards and screaming at her, herself. Emma just didn't get it. Emma didn't see sense. A Charming flaw. "It's not just headaches though is it?" Regina fought back, ignoring Emma's look of annoyance. "Every day this week you've woken feeling sick and on more than one occasion have been so after breakfast. You've been suffering with these headaches for over a month now. And you can go from the Emma I love to…" Regina hesitated for a moment. She wanted Emma to see she was worried but this fighting wasn't going to get them anywhere.

"What? To what" Emma bite back pulling her arm away from Regina's grasp. The former queen missed the contact immediately; the distance between them seemed to span miles.

"A bitch" the brunette added. She saw Emma's nostrils flare and continued before the other woman could interrupt. "Your concentration has gone. You've never had the greatest attention span but when it's needed you're always on the mark. Emma you need to stop and slow down. You need to talk to Snow, tell her you need time off. See Whale, he could prescribe something" Regina suggested though saw instantly she was saying all the wrong things.

"For god sake Regina. Will you just stop telling me what to do! I am stressed out of my mind; you'd think my girlfriend would be supportive…but no not you. Why do you need to control _everything_?" Emma shouted; her face inches away from Regina's. "These headaches aren't much worse than the ones I had when you had me working off my feet. You didn't give a damn then…why now? Because my mother has your job and now you're screwing me?" the blonde finished her breaths coming out hard and laboured.

If Regina was honest with herself it took all her willpower not to slap Emma across the face. She could feel the buzz of her magic beneath her skin. Emma's only saving grace was the shocked expression which took form across her entire face as her last word fell from her lips. Green eyes looked at her wide and full of guilt. It wasn't the first time in the last month Emma had spoken to her like this though usually it ended before Emma had gotten so forceful…so malicious. It normally ended with one of the women storming out, and thankfully only had happened a few times.

"Regina. I'm sorry. I…" Emma whispered; sounding so genuine it almost broke her heart further.

Regina put her hand up to stop Emma talking which ceased at once. Swallowing slightly, keeping her emotions at bay Regina's hand balled into a fist in the air. "Just…stop" the brunette's voice shook, though she wasn't sure whether it was with anger or hurt. The blonde looked back at her eyes still wide with the shock at her latest outburst. "Go have a shower. I will warm our meal through" Regina stated her voice sounding much calmer than her felt inside.

Emma shook her head slightly, moving forward to mirror Regina's former position with her own hand now resting on the brunette's raised forearm. "I am so sorry. I don't think that. I don't" Emma explained sounding panicked her lover wouldn't believe her. Regina did believe her but it didn't stop it from hurting.

"I need _you_ to go upstairs and have a shower. I _will_ warm the food through and we will eat when you come back down. I need a moment Emma, so please…go" Regina asked, stepping backwards allowing Emma's hand to fall from her arm. The older woman knew she was begging the blonde with her eyes; she didn't care. She couldn't help the fleeting relief she felt when Emma's head lowered as she turned to do as she was asked.

At the foot of the stairs however the broken woman turned to face her again. "I'm sorry. I love you, you know" Emma said with so much sincerity it hurt.

Regina felt her breath catch in her chest. "I know" was her simple reply before retreating into kitchen. Leaning backwards once she was out of sight, Regina waited a moment to catch her breath as she listened to Emma ascend up the stairs with the grace of a baby elephant. Something their son had gotten from his birth mother.

Regina didn't like warming food in the microwave, but tonight she would have to make the exception. Pulling the several plates out of the fridge she set about warming their meal. Another glass of wine was poured for herself, Emma could choose between wine and her own beers in the fridge. Within minutes her heels were kicked off and cast aside, she could remove them to their rightful place on her way to bed. Emma had seen her effort, through had shown no sign of acknowledging it.

Regina could just hear the noise of the microwave over the sound of her own breathing as she leant against the countertop. This wasn't how this night was supposed to go. It was meant to be fun. It was meant to be rememberable for its lack of excitement … or at least excitement of a different kind. The two women barely saw each other. Around Henry and Emma's job the only time they saw each other were in the moments before and after sleep. That was if Emma didn't have to leave straight after dinner and come home after Regina was asleep, which had happened more frequently of late.

She couldn't shake the feeling that Emma was slipping away. Maybe not intentionally, but her work was taking her away from her family. Even Henry had complained about only seeing Emma at dinner time just as Charming had come to collect him. She didn't want to lose what they had. Their relationship was hard, all relationships are. Their dynamic mixed with Snow's disapproval of their relationship made things very difficult at times. It was one thing that Regina didn't blame Snow for, but she wouldn't lose Emma.

Tonight's fight was her fault. She had attacked Emma as soon as she'd walked through the door. She had sensed the argument, or maybe she'd caused it. Maybe it was her who was pushing Emma away as much as Snow was dragging her away. Regina's heart clentch at the thought. When it was just been them, when they were just Emma and Regina; and not Henry's mothers or The Saviour and the Evil Queen, things had been perfect. Something that Regina would never had said she would get, never mind deserved. She never thought she'd find her happiness in the daughter of the woman she hated more than anyone else. Regina made an effort because of Henry and Emma, but her feelings towards Snow were still no secret. Neither were Snow's towards her.

Regina jumped as the microwave indicated the first plate's warming period over with loud beep. Dragging herself over the first plate was replaced by the second; and the warmed plate was covered to ensure the heat remained. No noises came from the floors above. Regina often wondering if Emma's inability to refuse her mother was from fear Snow would reject her. She wasn't sure she'd ever feel guiltless over that very thought.

Regina felt tears form in her eyes as her brain replayed the Sheriff's harsh words. Did Regina treat Emma more like she was her mother than lover? She didn't mean to if she did. She wanted what was best for both the blonde and their son. She wanted to protect and look after the two people who meant most to her. She loved Emma. In the start she had denied it, she couldn't even now pinpoint the moment when she fell in love, neither the moment she realised it. It was rather poetic; the Evil Queen falling in love the Saviour.

Emma thought Regina sort to control her? She didn't. Regina liked order that was true, she preferred notice if plans were going to be changed. That didn't make her a bad person did it? She wanted Emma to be … Emma the woman she'd fallen in love with. She didn't want a twisted replica of herself in Emma form. Sure there were things about Emma which annoyed the former mayor, most of which Emma knew about and would use whenever they were in an argument, just to annoy her further. Something Emma hadn't done tonight. What did that mean? Was the fight just a result of fatigue or something else?

Her suggestion that Emma took time off came from a place of love and concern, not need to control. The last few weeks Regina had tried to stay awake the nights Emma had needed to go back to work. She had stayed awake and worried about the woman who should have been lying next to her. The bed now felt too big, too suffocating without the other woman in it. Regina had spent hours over the last week alone worrying about Emma's rapid decline in health. That was where the suggestion had come from, nothing more. Did Emma really believe differently? Did she really see Regina as her non-supportive partner?

The blonde had said Regina only cared because she was the sheriff to her mother. Did she think Regina was only with her to have some influence over the town, and the decisions made by the present mayor? Emma had been right. Regina hadn't cared about Emma's wellbeing when she was appointed Sheriff under her rule. She hadn't seen the impact Regina's persistence of paperwork amongst other things had had on the younger woman. She hadn't cared to notice. Back then Regina saw Emma as a threat. Time Emma spent working was time she wasn't spending with Henry. She had believed it was what was best for Henry.

Her views had changed. Her actions and feelings towards Emma had changed…long before their relationship had started. If she had known, she'd like to have thought she would have lessened the work load. Maybe not then, but now. Now she would rip the paperwork out of Emma's hands and drag her kicking and screaming from the sheriff's office if that's what it took. Regina couldn't help the sad smile at the thought it of; because that's probably what it would take.

She loved Emma. She was in love with her. Everything about her, and she wouldn't lose her. Not over a job. Not over her mother or a stupid argument. Emma had to know where her worries came from. That she only wanted what was best…

Regina jumped slightly as she felt strong arms engulf her from behind, strong hands gliding across her stomach; pulling her away from her musings. Sighing deeply she inhaled the smell she'd come to associate with the other woman. Vanilla, spice and tint of something she's yet to discover its name but was the pure essence of Emma Swan. A gentle kiss is placed at the base of Regina's neck making her shiver ever so slightly.

Emma's chin came to rest on Regina's shoulder and she could feel the blonde's breath tickle the side of face. It was only then she realised she was standing in front of a dark microwave, though this time it seemed it's bleeping had not been enough to awaken her from her thoughts.

She felt rather than heard Emma's deep but shaking breath as the blonde rested her head in the crux of Regina's neck; as if she was trying to breathe her in. "I'm sorry" came the small whisper next to her ear. Without looking Regina knew she meant it, and knew if she did she'd find tears in the blonde's eyes.

"I know" Regina's whispered reassurance broke the silence.

"I'm going to see Mary Margaret tomorrow", Emma explained softly, her damp hair slightly sticking to the side of Regina's face. The brunette swallowed slightly, and couldn't but give a small smile. Emma was finally doing to do something about it. Finally looking after herself.

"I wasn't telling you to do anything", Regina said gently, one of her own hands joining Emma's. It wasn't often Emma held her like this, but it always made her feel safe. Made her feel special.

"I know. But you were right. It needs to stop. I can't keep hurting you and Henry like this", Emma said her voice cracking considerably. Regina wanted to turn but Emma's grip around her waist made it impossible. "I want to be here. I don't want to lose you. Either of you", the blonde's voice shook dangerously.

"You won't" Regina reassured. Once again she tried to turn but Emma seems to have her pinned in place against the counter. "Emma please?" she begged, needing to comfort the clearly distressed woman behind her.

It took a moment to feel the body against her shift, and Regina wasted no time in turning in Emma's arms. Regina saw the first tear fall as their eyes met. The brunette's arms easily slid around Emma's neck, pulling her back in close. "No one is losing anyone. You got that" Regina said with as much conviction as she could manage.

She wasn't sure if she felt Emma nod but her arms tightened around Regina's back pulling her in impossibly close. An answer all the same. Regina could feel the heat of Emma's body through the blonde's robe. The former queen was no hugger. She did not do hugs. Or cuddles. If you asked anyone who was not the woman in her arms or their son, they would have said the Evil Queen did not do hugs. But in the arms of the two most important people in her life, she felt safe. She felt home. They knew and loved her for who she really was.

"I didn't mean any of it", Emma mumbled into Regina's shoulder. The older woman placed a gentle kiss into the damp hairline next to her face. Pulling back slightly, she could see in Emma's eyes she didn't mean it. The brunette gave what she hoped was a reassuring smile. Emma on the other hand cast her eyes away.

Regina knew her lips pursed as she felt the urge to sigh. "I know" she repeated. "Henry is at your parents' for the night, it's just us. I just wanted some us time where I could pamper you in _any_ way you saw fit without our teenage son looking at us as if he's going to die of embarrassment", Regina explained unable to help the slight flirtatious tone and smile as she tried to catch Emma's avoiding eye.

"I didn't mean to ruin our night", the other woman gave her whispered apology to the patch of counter top a foot or so from Regina's shoulder. The former queen knew her own anger and frustration came from her desire to look after her love, while Emma's anger and easy submission came from a place of exhaustion. Regina couldn't help the tug of guilt upon her chest. Wanting the night to be easy, enjoyable and stress free was never going to be achievable by attacking the woman as soon as she stepped foot in the house.

"Hey..." Regina reassured. The blonde's shoulders lowered slightly at the tone. "It's not. Delayed. But not ruined." The brunette continued with a loving smile, still trying to catch Emma's eye. "I'm sorry I got angry with you, I worry and I plan; always thinking the worst" she explained, hoping Emma would understand. She wasn't always good at explaining herself. She tried and often arguments erupted through miscommunication.

The older woman weaved her hand into the damp blonde tresses tugging slightly, making Emma move to look her directly in the eye. "I love you", she reassured watching the other woman's eyes raise to her own. She watched as the smile on Emma's lips started small turned into a full blown beam; a smile she couldn't help but return.

Regina couldn't help but claim those lips. The kiss wasn't urgent or rushed; but soft and tender. She couldn't help but notice the taste of blonde's salty tears which had fallen and died upon her lips as her tongue slid across the bottom one ever so slightly. Pulling away she couldn't help but smile at the slightly dreamy expression on woman before her, whose eyes had yet to open.

"I'm still…" Emma breathed.

"Don't you dare say you're sorry" Regina bite back with a slight smirk. She watched as Emma risked opening one eye. "I know", she supplied yet again with a nod and yet another reassuring smile. The dreamy smile increased to a full beaming grin.

"Were you saying you thought I needed a shower…was I not good enough as I was" Emma asked with a start, eyebrow raised possibly in concern that Regina thought it. The older woman pushed away the need to tell Emma to not remind her of her second of weakness. Her need to run, and shelter herself; if only for a moment. Regina couldn't lie she had become accustomed to Emma's usual attire and loved it when Emma made an effort outside of her iconic wardrobe but the other woman would always look beautiful no matter what she wore.

"Of course you were…and are. You're beautiful; a shower simply tidied you up around the edges and readied you for the night ahead…" Regina breathed, watching Emma's eyes flicker and darken slightly. The blonde gave no come back. Her only answer was a sudden hard and forceful kiss which knocked Regina off kilter, allowing her the other woman to spin her slightly and be pushed against the counter behind her. Before Regina could deepen the kiss Emma had pulled away slightly panting.

Regina couldn't help the breathless chuckle. Talk about their night doing a full three-sixty. "We should really have our meal. I won't be able to reheat it again" Regina said her words sounding rushed. She received a grin from her lover.

Emma leant forward slightly again, pushing her whole robe-clad length into older woman, causing Regina to gasp. "On one condition…you put your heels back on" Emma supplied, her eyes glimmering darkly. Regina couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine at the unabashed way the blonde's eyes travelled down her body. Emma had noticed, and it _had_ been appreciated.


	3. Chapter 2

**Title: **Last Thing You'll Do

**Author**: Calliope-plantain

**Rating:** M

**Pairing:**Regina/Emma

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Once. All characters in this story sadly do not belong to me; they're simply being borrowed for a little while, and then will be returned. This story was not written for profit and no copyright infringements are intended.

**Storyline:** Regina could say her life was perfect… and then it got turned upside down.

**Author's Note:**This story is largely based on a dream I had.

**Beta: **Scarlet-Marauder awesomely encouraged me to write this, and then was my beta. So any mistakes she's missed are her fault ;)

"_The next heart you crush will be mine" – 45-Spacer._

The second the dishwasher door was closed Regina found she was pressed against it with Emma's mouth seizing her throat. She couldn't help the appreciating moan that broke the silence of the kitchen as the other woman pushed herself against Regina's back once again. Dinner had been a quiet affair though the dark hungry eyes which had watched her every movement had spoken volumes.

Emma's hand cupped the brunette's breast. Almost enticingly slow. A thumb grazed across her nipple, almost undetectable through her dress and bra. Jutting her upper half forward to gain more pressure became even more desirable when she heard Emma's gasp of pleasure as her ass grounding into her. Seizing on Emma's moment of lack of concentration Regina turned, pulling the other woman flush against her.

Both women gave a silent gasp as their bodies melded perfectly. Regina's heels gave her a small lift, meaning she had to duck slightly to take Emma's lips. She felt the blonde shudder against her, delighting in the feeling. She could taste the beer Emma had just drained. She could hear their lips smacking together, and feel their hearts race in their chests. She could feel herself falling, and knew the woman holding her would always catch her.

Emma hands were back on her. One driven so deep into her hair it was almost painful the other pinning her to the counter front by the hip. Feeling Emma's tongue slide against her own was like Heaven on Earth and made her head spin. Despite the passion and forcefulness of their kisses or the nips given to their respected partners' lips neither fought for dominance. Though Regina could feel Emma's fast approaching surge of control and it weakened her knees.

Regina's groan vibrated through her chest as Emma's hand danced across her skin. She felt the blonde's smug smirk. A slightly harder nip was given to Emma's bottom lip causing her to yelp slightly. The brunette grinned back into the kiss, gently massaging the damaged skin beneath her tongue. She felt Emma's knee move by the shift to her dress but the pressure she most needed to her core never came. Her knees however buckled at the feel of Emma's hand travelling passed her waist to lift the hem of her dress up.

Emma's hold on the older woman plus the tightness of the dress stopped the garment from moving further than a matter of inches. The brunette still groaned at the feeling of her lover's warm hands on those inches of thigh she'd revealed.

Regina couldn't help but chuckle however at the frustrated grunt from her lover as the black dress she'd been ogling at all night was now stopping her from getting what she wanted. What they wanted. "Bed?" Regina suggested breathlessly. In her daze all the saviour could do was nod. Another heated kiss was given before the blonde grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the countertop on shaking legs. The hand gripping her own was almost painful, though it was long forgotten when Emma turned to her as they reached the bottom of the staircase.

Whether it was knowledge that they wouldn't be caught by Henry or just the buzz of having Emma finally near her in longer than she could remember; Regina didn't know, but she didn't need to find out as the blonde was crushed into the adjacent wall. Emma let out a small wince of pain at the movement but by the way she seized Regina's offering lips the damaged wasn't lasting.

Their joint hands rested beside Emma's head, while the Sherriff's remaining hand wove its way into Regina's hair pulling her almost painfully into their kiss. It was all tongue and teeth, and the older woman didn't care. She could feel her heart beating at an erratic rate, or was that Emma's? A low groan sounded from within Emma's chest causing Regina to grin and push once again into the other woman. The receiving moan only spurring her on.

Regina's free hand had pinned Emma's hip to the wall, which by the way it had started twitching was clearly for the best. The only sounds which broke the silence of the house were their breathing and wet noises of lips meeting over and over again. The brunette's senses were being bombarded by Emma's touch, smell and taste. She was intoxicating.

The hand gripping Emma's hip moved ever so slowly up the blonde's side to palm the robe covered breast. Emma's head shot back with an audible gasp. Regina grinned into the offering neck as she felt the blonde's nipple pebble beneath her touch. Emma wasn't wearing a bra. "God", Emma moaned as Regina latched herself onto her throat. The hand entangled into Regina's hair pushed and pulled firmer, directing her in the sexiest way possible. The former queen could feel Emma's pulse dart beneath her tongue. Regina knew she was marking Emma; and she didn't care. She was hers. Forever.

Kicking Emma's feet apart allowed Regina to push herself even further into the robed woman. The blonde's hips had started their slow rock, trying to gain any contact. "Thought…you…said bed" sounded the shuddering woman, still holding Regina's head in place.

The brunette raised her head to the sheriff's ear, gently tracing the shell with her tongue feeling Emma shudder once again beneath her. "It's not my fault you're so irresistible", she breathed into ear she was now all but devouring.

"Regina. Please" Emma whispered. Pulling away to look at younger woman Regina felt her arousal peek even higher at the sight of her darkened hooded eyes and swollen lips. It had been too long since they had been together. Just as the brunette leant in for another kiss Emma spoke again, "Please take me to bed". She saw the plea in the other woman's eyes and felt her heart soar and libido rise. Emma's panting breath danced across her face; all she could do was agree.

Pulling away she felt Emma sag slightly against her. Clearly her legs weren't functioning at their full capacity. She heard the blonde's embarrassed laugh. "I've got you" Regina reassured seeing Emma's eyes sparkle ever so slightly. "Come on" Regina whispered pulling Emma along with her up the stairs.

The ascent was slow, mainly because Emma had missed the first two steps and just caught the third. By the time they reached the top however the blonde's legs were working just fine. Something Regina became aware of as she felt Emma pull her back. The former mayor turned just in time to see a mess of darkened blonde hair, and feel the body collide with her own before Emma's lips were upon her again. This time however she could feel Emma was guiding her towards their bedroom.

The door swung open, crashing off the wall behind it. As she drunk in the lips being offered to her Regina found she didn't care. It certainly wasn't the first damage which had been inflicted upon the house during their time together, and she was pretty sure it wouldn't be the last. To be on the safe side she'd make Emma clean the scuff marks in the morning.

The door was left open; it wasn't like someone was going to walk in on them in their empty house. It seemed to take them two strides of the room before Emma pushed Regina back onto their bed. Anything other time the brunette would have laughed at the small bounce she did on landing but all thoughts of doing so were erased when Emma crawled on top of her; the short robe bunching around her hips. Regina could feel Emma's heat through her dress and what she assumed was the other woman's underwear.

Emma licked up the base of Regina throat before latched herself to her pulse point. Regina knew Emma was about to be frustrated once again with her dress; it was zipped on the back. She was not about to have another of her dresses ruined by the Sheriff's impatience. Though she was surprised when all it took was a little pressure to roll the blonde onto her back. Usually Emma fought for dominance. Regina's skin was released with a small pop.

Emma's darkened eyes glittered with disappointment when Regina moved from on top of her; until she saw her lover's hands drift behind her back. Emma has once confessed she thought it was extremely hot watching Regina remove her own back zipped dresses; and so she would give her a show.

Their eyes met and she could see Emma's devilish grin take form. Regina took her time lowering the small zip, moving so the dress would slide off her body with almost excruciating slowness. Regina's skin tingled as it was exposed to the air and Emma's hungry stare. The tingle turned to a shiver as she felt the blonde's gaze drift down her body taking in her matching bra and underwear. With a hooked finger one heel was removed before the other the brunette's gaze never leaving her lover's. Lastly removed were her pantyhose which she had barely stepped out of before Emma seized her around the waist.

It surprised her when she once again landed on top of Emma. It was almost in Emma's nature to top the older woman, and Regina found it hot as hell to be dominated by blonde. She however was not going to waste the opportunity she'd been given. After all it was Emma's night.

Shifting so she could straddle Emma's hips, her hands moved to the cord which was hiding the other woman's body from her. Regina watched as the blonde's tightened nipples seem to pucker further with the temperature change. The brunette lowered her head tracing a slight line with her tongue from Emma's naval finishing in the valley between her breasts. The taste of Emma's skin was something Regina had missed. The taste it took during their love making, a taste which was simply Emma. Beneath her tongue she could feel Emma's fast drumming heartbeat.

Regina allowed the warmth and softness of Emma's skin push into her own, shifting her lower half just an inch lower to let her leg shift between the blonde's thigh felling for the first time how wet her lover had become. The movement caused both women to moan. Emma's quickened breathing was causing her breasts to rise and fall; something which Regina seized upon. Her eyes never leaving Emma's, Regina licked the raised bud with the flat of her tongue watching the blonde's mouth open in a silent gasp.

One of Emma's legs which were still hanging off the edge of bed rose slightly to gain more pressure from Regina's knee. Regina grinned into the now heaving breast, before taking the nipple completely into her mouth. She grinned further when she saw Emma's eyes slam closed. She alternated between licking sucking and biting at the small peddled fleshed, enjoying the enchanting noises coming from the women beneath her. Every time Regina's tongue circled the taut nub followed by a flick, she pushed ever so gently into Emma's heated core. The blonde's hips were grinding into her, while her lover's hands buried themselves into the sheets beneath them. Emma really was giving up control.

Emma let out a disappointed groan when Regina removed her mouth and knee from her. Regina watched with a smirk as the younger woman's eyes opened with a hazy slightly unfocused glare. With a small tilt of her head Regina hooked her thumbs around the waist band of Emma's underwear, hearing the half-naked woman's hitched breath.

The garment was slid from the slim waist; thankfully Emma had enough function left to be able to lift herself to allow it. Down her slender legs before joining Regina's puddle of discarded clothing. "Scoot" was Regina's only reply. It seemed to take a moment for Emma to register the command before moving backwards up the bed. It took seconds for Regina to rip her bra and underwear off and once the blonde was no longer upon her discarded robe Regina pulled that too onto the graveyard of previously removed items of clothing.

It was unusual these days for Regina to feel like a queen. No one ever treat her as such anymore; but the way Emma looks at her whether it is over the morning cereal or like right now in her completely naked state; she felt worshipped.

Emma's glance was almost animalist as she watched Regina crawl her way towards her. Regina's hands grazed Emma's legs delighting in their quiver. Nipping at Emma's hip with her teeth, she heard the other's small yelp. A soothing swirl of her tongue caused it turn into a groan. The assaulted hip jutted trying to gain Regina's attention which was not given but the heat from Emma's mount was almost irresistible. Instead she continued once again with a firm flat tongue up Emma's abdomen; licking all traces of salt from the blonde's skin as she slid one leg across Emma's thigh, delighting in the surge of pleasure at the contact. The writhing woman beneath her attempted to move so the wandering tongue would at least graze her tightened nipple; Regina allowed it. Before moving higher.

As she hovered over the blonde's face, Emma wasted no time plunging her tongue into the brunette's waiting mouth. Ever the dominator. "Impatient" was Regina's faux reprimand. The brunette's hand lowered brushing the small nest of hair between her thighs and felt the hips rise even further off the bed. The feel of Emma molten need was instantly noticeable. Without entering the younger woman, Regina's fingers were practically coated.

"Screw slow" Emma demanded with a growled which sent a jolt right to Regina's core.

"That's exactly what I am doing", was Regina's simple reply.

She grinned into her lover's lips at the annoyed moan erupting from them; it was clear that was not what she'd meant. "No…I mean…" Emma's desperate tone sounded.

"I know" was Regina's reassuring reply. Emma's mouth opened in a gasp which never met the brunette's ears as she plunges two fingers into Emma's molten centre. When no resistance was met she added a third upon her next thrust. She heard Emma cry that time; and for once in a very long time she could watch her lover come undone. The woman's cry did not need to be shushed or quietened by Regina's mouth; because they were completely alone. Regina could bask in awe at everything that was Emma Swan.

Regina stilled her hand momentarily to allow Emma to get used to the new intrusion. When the blonde nodded slightly Regina took it as her cue. Regina moved to rest upon her forearm next to Emma's head bringing her inches away from the woman below her. Both women gasped as their body melded together. Regina felt a jolt of desire shot from her aching nipples to her clit.

Regina's fingers began a slow but steady rhythm, which Emma's frantic hip immediately tried to increase. Regina watched as Emma's face creased in pure ecstasy, it was truly breath taking. It had been too long since she'd seen Emma like this is. Since they'd been like this. Regina sped up her movement feeling a slight burn in her wrist. The moans, groans and gasps from the younger woman were tantalising and shot straight to Regina's centre. It seemed sensing the brunette's need Emma's arm trailed down her spine making her skin tingle. The former queen gasped when Emma grabbed her backside pulling her lower half flush against Emma's thigh and Regina's own hand which was knuckle deep in Emma warm folds.

Her own hips were being directed by the movements of the woman beneath her; both to bring Regina pleasure but also Emma as Regina realised her knee was pushing her fingers in deeper. "Sneaky" Regina reprimanded only receiving a grin return.

Taking their sensuous dance into her hands Regina ground her hips harder and faster seeing Emma gawk at the change of pace. Fingers curled as they pumped in and out of the blonde's slick depths. Emma's walls contracted, trying to drag Regina's invading digits in further. God she'd missed this. Emma's laboured breath danced across her face; she could literally taste her lover's breath. Regina could feel her own desire sliding against the flesh beneath her, as her hips bucked bringing them closer to the edge. While Emma's build up would be slow and time consuming, Regina would be fast and dirty against the blonde's toned thigh. Not that she minded.

Emma tried to lift her head to capture brunette's panting lips; which Regina dodged with a slight almost evil chuckle. Emma's whimper when she could not reach Regina's lips in any other context would have been adorable. "What do you need dear?" Regina asked, her voice even to her own ears sounding as if it was dripping with desire

"I need … I…" Emma gasped sounding as if she was about to cry in frustration.

"Tell me", Regina commanded. Looking down at the woman she loved … the woman she craved, she saw Emma's chest heave with the exertion of just to draw oxygen into her body. A dark blush had taken form across her skin which glimmered with sweat in the light of the lamp beside their bed.

Another groan seemed to rip itself forth form the blonde's chest. "Fu…argh" Emma choked as her hips bucked irritably causing Regina's sex to grind even harder into the blonde's flesh. It was a dance Regina knew well, and wouldn't give the frustrated blonde the release she was seeking until she gave her the demand.

"You. Need…you. Please", Emma begged.

It wasn't the answer she had hoped for, or thought she'd get; but the look in her lover's eyes was that of undiluted love, need and desperation and it was for her… and her alone. She declined her head the inches between them taking Emma's mouth forcefully; with one last firm flick across Emma's clit.

Despite the want to claim Regina's lip, Emma's mouth opened in a silent cry before seizing them again. Their hips ground and bucked neither setting the pace their bodies found themselves in. Emma's fingers grasping at Regina's back; fingernails digging in almost painfully hard. Regina felt as if she going to explode and based on the tight muscles pulsating round her pounding fingers Emma would soon be coming undone. Moisture seemed to cling to every inch of them. Their kisses uncoordinated were wet and messy.

"I love you" Regina whispered into their broken kisses and felt the moment when Emma drove straight over the edge with one last thrust. The blonde's head shot back with sob of ecstasy. Regina took her opportunity to claim her previous mark on Emma's neck darkening it further. Regina felt herself shudder as the flame, and the jolts of electricity at her core ran through her whole body, consuming her. Her hips were working in fast sharp movements, making sure to milk every inch of Emma's orgasm. The blonde cried out once again, wrapping the former Mayor even closer to her effectively stopping Regina's fingers.

Catching her breath she could still feel the aftershocks in Emma's muscles and couldn't help her lazy grin into the blonde's flesh. It took her a moment to realise Emma was crying. Moving above the younger woman she saw tears falling down Emma's cheeks. "Hey" Regina said softly making to move from inside her lover.

"Don't" Emma pleaded her hand lazily catching Regina's forearm.

The brunette nodded moving her free hand to brush Emma's escaped hair away from her face. "Okay" Regina reassured, feeling the hand gripping her arm relax. "I've got you" the brunette said repeating her words from downstairs.

Regina watched as Emma swallowed slightly, further tears falling from the bright green eyes. "I've missed you" the blonde stated her voice quivering slightly. The former queen smiled gently feeling her heart flutter.

"Me too" Regina whispered back. There was so much in the sparkling eyes looking at her. So much she couldn't name and so much she could. She hated seeing the slight bags beneath them, evidence of Emma's evenings on parole. Evidence of the evenings she hadn't been lying beside her. Evidence of their time away from each other. No it wasn't about sex. It was intimacy. It was about sharing the little things; things which were just theirs which no one else could intrude upon. Things that because Emma hadn't been around, they'd missed out on.

Regina removed her hand from Emma's hair to rest it upon her cheek. The younger woman turned her face into the hand, before placing a gentle kiss on the palm. The brunette's thumb ran across the nearest side of the fair woman's face, brushing away the fallen tears. Noting they had seemed to have stopped though Emma's breathing still slightly laboured. "Emma?" Regina asked so close she could see the tears clinging to her eyelashes.

"I'm okay. Good tears" the Sheriff said offering a watery smile.

"Good" Regina replied a small chuckle, as she felt Emma move slightly. Assuming Emma was ready for her to remove her fingers, she slowly withdrew them feeling Emma quiver slightly. "Otherwise I'd need some serious ego stroking" she said with a grin.

She saw Emma recognise the double innuendo with a smirk. "I'm pretty sure that could be arranged" Emma boasted moving the thigh Regina was straddling. Regina trembled against the shifting flesh and saw Emma's devilish grin. "My turn" the sheriff breathed; and before Regina could even consider Emma's words she'd been flipped onto her back. Her already sensitive sex twitched at the movement.

A shuddered breath moved across her heated skin as her lover's hand ghosted aimless down her torso. Her shared orgasm hadn't been enough and Emma's teasing way was going to kill her.

Emma's mouth travelled the same path as her dancing fingertips. Starting at the hollow of the brunette throat her tongue and lips caressed every inch of Regina she could. Stopping briefly at the older woman's breasts, Emma gently blew down upon a chest. "Ergh" sounded from Regina's lips as she arched her back, pushed her breasts higher, hoping her lover would take pity on her. She heard Emma's chuckle just as she seized her breast. Regina's hand shot to the back of Emma's head holding her in place. The other woman's tongue swirled around Regina's nipple before taking the whole nub into her mouth with a hard suck, which would probably bruise the soft flesh. As the shot of pleasure surge through her body Regina allowed her eyes to drift close though her body was trying to confused her. She could have sworn the blonde was sucking her clit.

Regina let her cry of surprise and desire ring throughout the room as Emma's fingers penetrated her in one swift motion. Every suck given to her nipple was complimented by a thrust of the saviour hand. Every flick of tongue or nip at the small bud was given with a brush of her clit. Regina could feel Emma's hair strain against her tight grip. The Sheriff met every buck of the brunette's hips perfectly even has Regina's pace quickened.

Emma's firm touch was exactly what she needed. What she craved. God she was going to explode. She was going to scream herself hoarse. The noises sounding from her lips erupted from her chest as her heart pounded at a dangerous speed. Her heart was going to beat out of her chest.

Emma slammed against Regina's core causing her to cry out once again and lose her grip on the mess of blonde hair to her chest. She heard her own whine as Emma released her breast with a gently kiss before travelling further eyes focused to Regina's face. Each deep breath seemed to burn as Regina pulled oxygen into her body. She felt lightheaded. The liquid heat was building in the pit of her stomach just begging for release.

Regina watched as Emma's head lowered as she positioned herself between the older woman's legs. Regina could feel the fair hair tickling her inner thigh as Emma's breaths teased her heated core. The jut of her hips was automatic, pleading Emma to take pity and gain contact from something. The movement enabled the digits buried within in her to deepen. "God" Regina groaned as felt the other woman's twist as she captured her clit. She was giving everything she was to the young woman and knew she'd protect it. Cherish it.

Her hips rose from the bed as Emma sucked upon the small nub. Her mouth hung open unable to make a sound. Her lover's fingers thrust a bruising pace into her folds; curling ever so slightly. She felt the blonde's other hand being placed firmed against her hip trying to halter her frantic movements as she ground herself into the younger woman. Emma was alternating between using her teeth and tongue upon her clit; drawing intangible whimpers, moans and groans from woman beneath her. Soon Emma's hand was not enough to still Regina's hips which were bucking their own rhythm.

She was hanging over the abyss. She was ready to fall if only Emma would give her the final push. It came from one last hard suck of Emma's mouth and twist of her fingers as they managed to find the spot her body was so eager for Emma to find causing her back to arch, hips slam upwards and eyes clamp shut.

The scream that ripped from Regina's lungs was almost terrifying to her own ears. Once again she was thankful they were alone in the house. Emma rode out Regina's orgasm perfectly, gently returning her back to reality; lapping up her juices. Emma's tongue gave one last small swirl which was too much her Regina's over sensitive sex.

A small trail of kisses was placed ever so careful across Regina's body. Her chest heaved with the effect of breathing, but she felt precious. Desired. Wanted. Emma viewed her as something worth protecting. Regina could feel Emma's breath against her face, and felt Emma's digits leave her sensitive centre causing her to jump.

Regina groaned in disappointment at the loss of Emma's fingers, but the blonde's replacing knee would help her return to normality. Sweat coated both of their skin as Emma placed small butterfly kisses across her face, her coaxing fingers gently playing her tousled hair. Regina was content. It was the first time in quite a while she'd felt so at peace.

It took a few minutes for her breathing to even out, and when she finally opened eyes she saw her emerald lover's shining back at her with a lazy grin just for her. "Hey" the blonde whispered brushing the sweaty tresses away from Regina's eyes.

"Hey" Regina whispered back almost scared to break their intimate bubble. The kiss placed on her lips was so soft and gentle the former queen could feel the tug of emotion on her heart. There was no urgency as there had been in all the other kisses they'd shared tonight, there was no expectation or control. There was love, and it made Regina melt. The grin which took hold of the blonde's face was enough to make her knees weak, her heart skip a beat and catch her breathe. This was her favourite bit of her time with Emma. Their moments. Moments that included no one else but them.

She felt Emma start to roll from on top of her. She was momentarily disappointed at the lack of contact when felt herself being pulled along with the Sheriff. They landed more to Emma's side of the bed with a less than elegant "oomph". Regina landed half on top of the blonde; her attempt to move from squashing the younger woman was halted by Emma's strong hold on her.

"Stay" Emma whispered into her hair before placing a kiss upon the top of her head. Regina hadn't particularly wanted to move but at her lover's request she could hardly refuse. Both women sighed slightly as Regina altered herself more snuggly against the naked body next to her; placing a small kiss against the saviour's chest before nestling her head upon it.

A few moments passed and Regina could feel sleep trying to take away from the moment. She wanted the night to last forever. She started drawing mindless shapes upon the soft flesh touching her own, grinning ever so slightly as she felt the muscles in Emma's abdomen jump. "I love you", Emma whispered; her hot breath tingling Regina's scalp.

Even after over a year and half together Regina still felt elated at Emma's words. She loved her. Emma Swan loved her; the once Evil Queen. It was selfless. The other woman required nothing and asked for just as much in return. "I love you too" Regina replied placing yet another small kiss upon the flesh nearest her lips.

Regina felt her eye flutter once more growing annoyed with her own body's betrayal. "But I think you've killed me" Regina stated finishing in a yawn. "Sorry…I'm so tired" the brunette said; the feeling not helped by the talented fingers dancing softly through her hair.

"I'll take it as a compliment then" Emma said Regina could almost the self-assured tone in her voice and couldn't but grin and roll her eyes. "If you're tired go to sleep" the blonde continued, her fingers now gently stroking the top of Regina's back. Her weak spot.

"It's your night" Regina said though even to her own ears the tone was one of a tired drone. A reassured kiss was placed on the top of her head; though the Sheriff's chin remained resting upon it.

"If you're tired go to sleep" Emma repeated.

"If I wake up I will you pay back…or tomorrow" Regina murmured slightly feeling the tug of sleep on her brain and eyes. Fighting it was pointless, sleep was inevitable. The fingers on her back were moving in all the right ways, and the heart beneath her ear was beating out a soothing tune that Regina felt herself drift off to sleep; tucked securely against the woman she loved.

The infuriating beeping of her alarm woke her the next day. Reaching from under the covers she hit the small object with a little more force than was necessary. The annoying noise stopped it's on slaughter on her ears and brain at immediately. Despite Regina no longer holding the position of Mayor she still woken just as early as she always had; if nothing else to ensure the town's Sheriff got to work on time. It took her brain a moment to register her usual waking routine had not included the other sleeping woman's groaning choruses of "It's too early" and her cold feet touching her on some body part to seek warmth; which happened every morning. Emma was not a morning person, and had on many occasion had tried to sneak half an hour longer in their warm bed by pressing herself into Regina in all the right places. Often it worked.

The brunette shifted. A pain which she had only come to associate with her nights with Emma slide across her body; she couldn't help but grin at the feeling. The best kind of pain. Stretching slightly with a groan as the feeling only increased, she reached towards Emma with the hand that had been nestled beneath her pillow. The grasping hand was met by nothing but cold sheets.

Turning over so quickly she heard her neck crack in protest at the moment, Regina saw the bed was empty, almost as if it had been made around her as she slept. Emma never got up before she did. Blowing gently to rid her face of her mess of sleep induced hair; like a gunshot she came faced with reality. Emma wasn't laid beside her. By the lack of heat from Emma's side of the bed, Regina had been alone for several hours.


	4. Chapter 3

**Title: **Last Thing You'll Do

**Author**: Calliope-plantain

**Rating:** M

**Pairing:**Regina/Emma

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Once. All characters in this story sadly do not belong to me; they're simply being borrowed for a little while, and then will be returned. This story was not written for profit and no copyright infringements are intended.

**Storyline:** Regina could say her life was perfect… and then it got turned upside down.

**Author's Note:**This story is largely based on a dream I had.

**Beta: **Scarlet-Marauder awesomely encouraged me to write this, and then was my beta. So any mistakes she's missed are her fault ;)

"_The next heart you crush will be mine" – 45-Spacer._

Surely Snow hadn't called her this early to go to work. Regina's irritation levels soared once again, much as they had done for the last month, as she ripped the covers from herself. She flinched as the cold air hit her exposed body. Emma had said she would talk to Snow today…Regina hadn't thought she'd meant this early. Had Emma been kept awake with worry over the confrontation with her mother? Regina had slept better than she could remember sleeping in over a month; in what she had believed was Emma's arms.

Thankful for her own engrained organisation skills, she'd prepare the next day's outfit the night before. It ensured the task of getting dressed was a much shorter process than it could have been. Not needing to make sure Henry and Emma were ready this morning made it even easier. The absence of the pair of jeans which had been slung over the back of Regina's vanity chair last night was a stark and sure reminder that her partner had not slept as peaceful as she had the previous evening.

Regina's mad dash around the house came to an abrupt stop once entering the kitchen. The usual mess of Emma's coffee making attempt did not litter the countertops. Which told Regina either the blonde hadn't had coffee which was something Regina had learnt early on their relationship was a bad thing; or Emma had been up long enough to tidy up after herself… which worried the woman even further.

It felt peculiar to be driving through Storybrooke this early in the morning without Henry chatting away to her. Though the town looked much as it had done for thirty years; just itsinhabitants looked slightly older. It had taken a while for the townspeople to get used to Regina and Emma's relationship; on the whole they didn't bother. Occasionally there was an incident but it ended being more about the Saviour being with the Evil Queen, and thankfully those were now very far and in between.

No one seemed to care as she pulled up to the small diner or made her entrance into the establishment. It still surprised her when she saw people greeting her with a smile. Some were forced, some didn't even bother but there were ones like the one Ruby gave her as she made her way over to the counter that were genuine.

"Yours and Emma's usual?" the woman asked before she even reached the small counter. Regina simply nodded moving to sort the correct change needed. So the Sheriff hadn't been in yet, that in itself was an odd occurrence. While Emma tended to favour saving her money on homemade coffee, she did indulge on pastries like bear claws. The blonde's breakfasting habits were beyond Regina's comprehension but if that's what Emma liked, so be it.

Seconds after Ruby moved to get their order Snow appeared next to her looking extremely annoyed…even angry. Just what she needed this early in the morning; an irritating mayoral pixie. "How could you? You put her up to this didn't you", her former stepdaughter barked at her in her most un-Snow White tone possible; one she seemed to reserve just for Regina.

Taking a deep breath to try to ensure she remained as civilised as possible to the mother of the woman she loves; Regina said with a forced smile "I take it you've seen Emma this morning?" The former Queen's tone even to her own ear sounded slightly patronising. She was not going to be shouted at in front of the community by Snow White!

The comment however seemed to anger the other woman further, as her nostrils flared slightly and teeth ground together. If Regina didn't know what a push over Snow was, she would have been slightly intimidated; as it was she'd settle for feeling marginally gleeful. "After everything you've done to me…to my family. How could you do this? How could you use your …'relationship' with my daughter like _this?_" the other woman all but spat with disdain and anger. The pixie haired woman had never made secret her dislike at the relationship she shared with Emma, but she had never openly made an issue of mocking it as if it was something to be shameful of.

Snow's voice was louder than was needed, and it instantly flickered a spark of interest in those breakfasting in the small diner. It was clear they expected this confrontation to turn into an epic battle of wills between the Evil Queen and precious Snow White. Regina felt her own anger within her boil. She felt her magic ripple at her fingertips, felt it surge through body making her skin tingle. How dare this woman blame her? Emma was practically working herself to death for this woman and Snow had the indecency to blame her! If it wasn't for Regina, Emma would practically be a walking corpse!

Regina knew goading the woman in front of her was not the way to win this; if there was anything to even be won at this point. But it was that or do some physical harm and she knew that most certainly wasn't going to help matters. The audacity of this damn…princess! Keeping her voice low and dangerously level Regina stated "My relationship with Emma is none of your concern. Your daughter's health on the other hand is. Yes I encouraged her to come and talk to you…what good it did is yet to be seen".

Regina was momentarily worried the liquid within the other woman's mug was about to be unleashed upon her, as Snow's pale skin seem to redden. "What good…You've already stolen 28 years of her life from us! How dare you!" Snow spat, her voice so uncharacteristic of the girl she had once known; and yet every bit of the woman she had become. Regina felt a sharp stab of pain as Snow prodded her straight in the chest. The tone and contact made her skin itch. If it wasn't for Emma and Henry, Regina was sure there would be a singed Snow shaped hole in the wall opposite her.

This woman had ruined her life and yes while it was also her who had enabled Regina to have Emma and Henry in her life, she would never forgive her for the former. Much it seemed, and rightly so that Snow would never forgive or forget her wrong doings too. But this wasn't about that. It wasn't about their past. Why did this woman have to make everything so damn hard!

"This is _your_ fault, and you _will_ be held responsible. Emma would never have done this, nor have said the things she did this morning if it wasn't for you. You manipulative…" Snow said with an absolute defiance to her former stepmother, Regina was almost surprised she didn't have a cross bow aimed at her. Snow's inability to finish her insult would have been laughable it if wasn't for her finishing snarled line as she glared directly back at her, "Emma and Henry will realise one day who and what you truly are".

Regina felt her stomach drop; her heart lurched like she'd missed a step going downstairs. Snow had uncovered her darkest, most feared weakness. That one day Emma and their son would stop loving her…and it would be entirely Regina's fault. Snow's face was flushed with anger, though thankfully did not show recognition of the hurt her words had caused on the older woman. Regina saw Ruby move out of the corner of her eye. She saw two cups and box of what she assumed was Emma's bear claws.

The former mayor took a slight breathe before stating in what she hoped was her most regal sounding voice, "Once again you've missed the point. _Emma's_ wish to come and talk to you today was not about her relationship with me. She wanted to talk to her mother. I foolishly thought you would encourage your daughter's choice. Show compassion. She needs to do this. It is not about you or me. Yet once again however you cannot think about someone other than yourself". She saw Ruby's eyebrows rise in surprise as she snatched her order from the counter; turned on her heel and left before Snow could reply.

Regina could feel her hands shaking. The heat from the coffee was a welcome relief as it penetrated her flesh. It took all her will power not to throw the cups and box onto the passenger seat as she slid into her car. It wasn't a mess she was going to clean up because of that damn woman. Snow knew how to get under her skin and used it every chance she got.

Regina's knuckles turned white with the force she was gripped the steering wheel. If that was how she had spoken and acted towards Regina she dreaded the reception Emma had received. How Snow had the nerve to speak to her in such away she didn't know. Regina fought so damn hard every time she was in that woman's presence. She fought every urge she had, she fought for Emma. She would never make the blonde pick between herself and her parents. She doubted Snow could say the same.

She knew which she would choose. Emma had told her as much. If she had to pick Emma would pick Henry and Regina every time. She knew that; but she also knew what the cost would be to Emma. The Sheriff strove to get her mother's attention and affection. Emma had fought to find her parents for twenty-eight years, and now she'd found them she wouldn't want to let them go. Regina would never force her to. Snow, the woman who had freely admitted in Neverland she had wanted another child, that she was willing to abandon the one she had for her husband; she however would.

What parent would pick that? Regina was the Evil Queen for god sake and if the choice came to it, if she had to pick Emma or Henry…the answer would be Henry every time. She hoped Emma's would be the same. Any Parent would …should put their child first. Yet Snow hadn't. Wouldn't. That was where Emma's unspoken fears came from now. She had to fight for a place in her parents' lives because she felt she was expendable. Just has she had her entire life as she'd been shipped around foster homes and foster parents. On top of everything the fact that Snow was so dismissive of her daughter's feelings made Regina hate her more. The former Queen knew that after Snow's dismissal of Emma's confession of feeling like an orphan in Neverland, Emma wouldn't divulge such secrets again. That was a burden and privilege Regina carried alone.

She needed to see Emma. The blonde's presence always had a calming effect on her. Even being in the same room reassured her. It didn't matter if they were in the middle of full blown argument, seeing Emma, hearing her voice, calmed her. She would have her coffee with the blonde and leave her to do her job. Regina felt the guilt and dread flood her system. Should she tell Emma about her confrontation with her mother? Would it only serve to make Emma feel worse? By the sound of things Emma needed her coffee and sugar fix. Regina needed to comfort her. Based on Snow's account of the early morning conversation Emma needed it too.

The small journey to Sheriff's office was quiet and eventless. The woman driving simply had her thoughts and slowing heart rate as company. Her anger was lulling by each passing moment. The urge to throttle her former stepdaughter was still as present as ever, but it was an impulse she could contain.

Regina was momentarily surprised to see the bright yellow bug wasn't parked outside the small building. She considered for a second simply turning around and going home if Emma was busy but if the start of Emma's day was as bad as hers she needed the hot beverage next to her, and probably the opportunity to rant. So she would wait.

Regina couldn't help but smile at the sound of her own heels tapping on the floor as she entered the building. It was a noise Emma had once admitted had filled her with fear and arousal in equal measure during Regina's days as Mayor. She placed the pastry box down next to some papers that littered the Sheriff's desk, a tell-tale sign that Emma was going to return. Regina briefly hoped that Emma hadn't gone to get her morning fix of coffee before remembering she hadn't seen the yellow bug pass on her way over…and it was not easy to miss. That said Emma would probably love the idea of eating two lots of bear claws. Regina felt her stomach clench and teeth ached at the thought of the sugar content. How Emma kept her figure Regina didn't know.

Regina was pulled out of her thoughts of Emma's figure by a movement out of the corner of her eye. It was the blonde herself looking extremely tired and slightly out of sorts. How much sleep had Emma managed to get the night before? Regina felt the creep of guilt wash over her once again. She had seen how tired Emma was when she'd come home. She would have fought the blonde on getting some sleep, rather than sleeping with her. Okay she could never regret amazing sex with Emma but she did feel a little guilty.

She felt the smile tug on her lips at the look of surprise on Emma's face. It was clear she hadn't expected Regina to be here. The brunette threw her a smirk as she sat on the top of the desk, making sure not to disturb the papers already upon it. "I brought you coffee and those claw things you like since you managed to go without either this morning", Regina said leaning to pass Emma the small cup.

She watched as Emma gave a small shrug but stepped forward taking the beverage. "Thanks. It was kinder intentional but thanks. Didn't want bring anything back up" Emma answered her face one of slight disgust. How could Regina have forgotten in the space of one night? Emma had been putting off early meals and drinks until her stomach had settled all week.

"Sorry…I forgot. I can have it if you want", Regina supplied making a reach for the cup which Emma pulled away from her looking adorably cute.

"No it's okay I'll have it" Emma said with a shy smile. Emma took the seat next to the desk Regina was perched upon. The advantaged view point allowed Regina to see down Emma's tank top; giving her quite the view. With a grin the brunette also noticed the darkened skin on Emma's neck just over her pulse point.

Emma's mind however seemed elsewhere, her fingers mindlessly playing with the rim of her cup. The last week and half had been the worst. Regina had been watching Emma pull away. Watched her become more distant. Had been part of arguments she knew Emma was trying to force upon them. Regina had been stupid to think last night had been a quick fix. That one conversation with Snow would solve all of Emma's problems. The woman before her was a shadow of her former self and physically hurt Regina to watch her love fight whatever demons were raging war inside the blonde's head.

"I'm guessing it didn't go well… with Snow I mean. I saw her at Granny's" Regina said softly.

Emma's head shot up so fast, Regina had to fight the urge to flinch. "What did she say?" she asked her eyes and face so full of worry it made Regina feel sick. No child should fear any form of rejection for their mother. The fact that Regina knew that undiluted fear so well made her heart ache for Emma.

Regina wondered for a moment. Should she lie? She could spare the heartache of Snow's harsh words; but then Snow would probably tell Emma anyway. Her meant well action would be turned upon her and Emma would feel an equal betrayal from Regina too. This way she could comfort Emma. Couldn't she?

Regina took a slightly breath and hoped her voice would hold; and that she would be as strong as she needed to be for the woman she loved. "The usual things. I'm stealing you away from her. I've ruined her life. She thinks I forced you into talking to her" Regina explained as she watched Emma's hands shake. She could see from her perch that the coffee within the mug shook too and if Emma wasn't careful she was going to be covered in the hot liquid.

Emma seemed to deflate before her very eyes. She could feel the emotions rolling off the younger woman; then again with their shared magic it wasn't uncommon. Emma wasn't looking at Regina anymore, more so at the pile of papers next to her.

Seconds seemed drag on as the booming clock overhead counted each one by. Emma's ragged breathing was the only other noise Regina could distinguish. She watched as Emma placed the coffee on the ground next to her chair and reached forward to pull the stack of papers upon the desk towards her. Regina wondered for a moment when Emma's pen started to glide across the paperwork if their conversation had ended. Had she pushed too far? Had hearing Snow's words done more damaged than she had thought they would?

"She wouldn't listen to me", Emma spoke her voice heavy with the burden she'd been carrying for weeks. "She just shouted. Saying I didn't know what I was talking about. And talking about family and how it was more important than anything else. Like I don't know that. Believe me I know that more than anyone" Emma explained her voice barely over a whisper.

"I didn't shout back. I was so damn tempted you know" the blonde said sounding angrier as her explanation went on. Regina had no idea what paperwork Emma was filling in but she was surprised by the force in which the blonde was practically engraving it, that the pen hadn't yet pierced the paper. "She woke David and Henry! She just kept … she just wouldn't…" Emma seemed to be struggling with her words. The force of Emma's anger was actually frightening Regina. It had been a long time since she had seen Emma get so angry over her mother.

"And _you_" Emma spat finally looking up and glaring Regina straight in the face. "You told me to go and talk to her. I would have just left … it and she wouldn't hate me now" the Sheriff almost screamed at her. This wasn't just about Snow. It was about her too. What had her former stepdaughter said to her? The anger and hurt in Emma's eyes was so powerful and deep it hurt Regina to even look at her.

"I'm sorry it didn't go well with your mother but you can't take it out on me, I didn't force you to do anything" Regina said trying to calm Emma down. There was no way they could talk about this if this was going to be Emma's frame of mind. When they approached things like this, they would always just scream at one another. They had to talk. Had to communicate but that wasn't going to happen if Emma was just going to scream at her.

"I bet you just loved knowing you had a part in upsetting her", Emma leered; her tone so full of malice knocked Regina sick. This wasn't her Emma.

"What?" Regina asked feeling the rush of confusion. What was happening?

"Come on try and tell me you didn't delight in it. You didn't enjoy it just a little. Watching her getting angry and just knowing you'd helped. Knowing you still know the buttons to press…" Emma's voice carried a sickly glee of disgust. Disgust it seemed was aimed at her, not her mother.

"Maybe …" Regina admitted, flooding with shame instantly. She watched as Emma recoiled from her. Or as much as the chair she was sitting on would allow.

"Can you not get on with each other just for once?" Emma's tone dropped severely to a hiss of despair. The papers Emma was holding for now forgotten were scrunched slightly in Emma's hands.

Regina took a breath. A breath so deep it hurt within her chest. How did Emma not see the effort she put in? This wasn't the first argument over Snow they had had in the time they'd been together. It was however the first time that Emma seemed to almost solely side with her mother. "I think you'll find dear I do. I do it for you and Henry – believe me I try my damned hardest. She makes it near impossible. She kept belittling our relationship" Regina explained watching Emma once again sag beneath her words as if they were crushing her.

Emma looked guilty. Regina watched as Emma's eyes filled with tears, but none fell. Regina licked her lip gently. This couldn't keep happening. She wouldn't let this keep happening. Emma couldn't keep snapping at her like this. Yes she had been right about Regina gloating at Snow's discomfort. That was something which she was wrong about, and should be held responsible for. But Emma had to stop this too. She had to trust Regina. Trust that she would always do what was best, what needed to be done for her family. If that meant biting her tongue with Snow then she would, because those she loved more than anything else needed her to.

"She made her views quite clear to me too. She's not happy "her" Sheriff is … well with you" Emma explained looking momentarily worried for Regina's reaction.

Guilt. Shame. Were Emma and their son ever going to be accepted for loving her? Regina knew she had done some terrible things. Unspeakable things. She knew nothing she did would ever make up for it. Not a damn thing. But she was prepared to try and she would try to make it up to everyone she could. The thought that Snow's disapproval at their relationship was forced upon Emma as well… Regina could take it. She would even say she deserved it…but Emma didn't.

It took her a moment to consider Emma's tone then it hit her so hard in the chest. "Did…She fired you?" Regina said in her calmest voice though her insides boiled.

She knew the answer before Emma spoke; for the blonde lowered her head back to the paperwork, unable to look her in the eye. "No I quit before she could", Emma breathed to the papers balancing on her lap. Emma had quit. She'd quit. She was no longer Sherriff. A mix of relief and shock flooded her system. No wonder Snow had been so angry this morning. Regina most certainly hadn't ever suggested Emma quit her post. Giving up the job however it would ensure Emma would regain her strength and health. She could get another job. Any job would be fine with Regina as long it enable Emma to be home at a reasonable hour and tucked up in bed alongside her at night.

"It would be so much easier if you two could just get on. I could have just talked to her about all of this, but no you pushed…I couldn't prepare" Emma sounded once again not looking up but gave a gesture with the pen jammed into her hand.

"Well I'm sorry that I care for you. I couldn't keep watching you put yourself into an early grave for that woman. So no I take it back, I'm not sorry. I care about you!" Regina retaliated losing the sense of this conversation. Why did Emma always pick fights?

"Maybe you shouldn't!" Emma spat back tears still lingering her dark leaf green eyes.

"What?" Regina said as if it was the most absurd thing she'd ever heard; because it was. She couldn't just turn it off. She cared about Emma. She loved her. More than she thought she would ever love anyone other than her son. Their son!

"I can't…keep doing this. I just want to be happy for once without everything fucking up! And I can't even have that" Emma's frantic tone made Regina's stomach and heart drop. Emma's hand drove itself into its owner's blonde tresses painfully hard.

"Yes you can. Of course you can. We can" Regina rushed desperate to comfort the younger woman as her heart raced in her chest. The shock of Emma's words hit her in waves. Putting her long forgotten coffee down on the desk, Regina stepped down to physically comfort the depressed woman. She halted when she heard the broken woman speak again, "I'm leaving Storybrooke".

The the force of the words knocked her backwards. She felt the desk collide with her back as it took a moment for her to comprehend the now former Sherriff's words. No. She couldn't have said that. She couldn't… she wouldn't… "No…you're not" Regina's voice came out uneven and scared. Her pulse was racing faster than a stampeding bull and yet her brain wouldn't catch it up.

"What's here for me Regina?" Emma's tone of desperation was like a bullet to Regina's speeding heart.

"Henry…Me!" the brunette screamed watching Emma jump in fright. Once again Regina felt her magic surge beneath her skin. She hated the feeling. The feeling of no control. Regina liked order. She liked control. Taking a shaky breath before she continued her voice very inch of sharp emotion she felt inside "I know things have been hard but you can't just give up. We can do this. You, me and Henry forever. You promised me that".

Emma made a noise. It could have been of disbelief or shock. Emma had to learn and had to know that it didn't matter. The past didn't matter. Her goddamn mother didn't matter. Regina would love her. Would be there for her no matter what. She couldn't keep pushing her away!

"I don't understand. Emma what's going on? Just tell me what's wrong. What can I do?" Regina soothed begging the woman to see reason as she watched the hand in Emma's hair tighten even further.

"You can't…do anything" Emma whispered deliberately her tone carrying her defeat. Regina moved to crouch in front of the blonde a hand resting on the jean clad knee. She felt Emma's breath dance across her face as the blonde said with almost equal determination, "Once I'm finished this paperwork, I'm leaving".

"No you're not" Regina's voice carried every bit of a command she did not feel, pushing off the blonde's knee into a standing position.

She was momentarily surprised that the other woman did not fall back with the force Regina had exerted upon her knee. But she watched as Emma's mood changed in a flash of an eye. It was something Regina should be well accustomed to by now having been subjected to it these last few weeks. She was astonished she didn't see a clump of blonde hair in Emma's clenched fist as Emma ripped it away from her scalp."I'm sorry your highness I forgot about your need to control everything! How very sorry I am, I forgot I needed permission to be in charge of my own life, and to make my own decisions" Emma spat making a stand; Regina heels only giving her an inch or so height advantage. Regina heard the papers drift to the floor.

Snow's words were ringing in her ears. _"Emma and Henry will realise one day who and what you truly are"_. No. No. No! This couldn't be happening. What _was _happening? Emma was leaving? Leaving her? This didn't make sense. Last night. Everything was perfect. They were perfect. Snow could not. Would not be right.

"I'm not. I don't want to…Emma please…I don't understand", Regina begged knowing that her tears were falling shamelessly down her face. She wrapped her arms around Emma's shoulders clinging on for dear life; as if life depended on it. Emma couldn't go if she didn't let go of her. Every fibre of Evil Queen was drained from her. She was just Regina. Emma's Regina. She was the young girl cradling Daniel's dead body again. Powerless. Nothing made sense. "What about Henry?" Regina asked her voice squeaked. Henry was her last ditched attempt to make Emma see reason.

She heard Emma swallow heavily before she answered. "He already knows. I told him this morning. Explained a friend needs some help with a job back in Boston and I'd be gone before he came back from school. He was fine with it" Emma explained though Regina could see tears reflecting in her eyes as well.

The brunette felt the rush of hope flood her system. She wasn't leaving…leaving. She was going to come back. She wasn't leaving Regina. Not for good. She took a moment to revel in the warmth of Emma's skin, despite the other woman's reluctance to hold her back. "So you're coming back?" Regina asked hearing her own voice practically skip with delight.

She felt Emma's hand brush her back, almost as if she wanted to return the hold. But instead she felt her other hand pushing her backwards away from Emma. "I don't think so. I don't know" her lover said and for a moment she saw Emma soften. She saw guilt and something else she couldn't name.

"So you gave him false hope?" Regina said her voice cracking into a sob. Henry. The thought of it made her blood boil. Her little boy. The woman before her so readily lied to him…and Henry believed her because that's what Henry does. He believes. "So you're going to abandon him… again?" the brunette spat and saw Emma recoil. She watched as shock and disbelief coloured the former Sheriff's face.

The anger was fuelling her now, but even it wasn't enough. It wasn't strong enough to ignore the look of betrayal in her lover's eyes. Regina didn't believe Emma had abandoned him as a baby. She knew and understood why Emma had given her son up for adoption. She knew it. She felt it. But here Emma was about to walk away from what she herself had claimed was the best time in her life. She was so easily prepared to give up on their relationship and their son's future.

"No. Regina no I'm not abandoning him…God!" Emma replied looking as dumbfounded as Regina felt. She looked hurt and it just added to Regina's feeling of rage and guilt. Anger at Emma. Anger at Snow White…anger at herself! This wasn't supposed to be happening. "I will do right by him. Just as I have been doing since the day he was born. I gave him up because there was _no_ way I could provide for him. I will always do what is best for him…and right now I am not it. I need time away and I won't be coming back until I know that I am" Emma finished looking every bit of the mother Regina knew she was.

Emma felt she had to do this. But Regina could help her. She didn't need to do this alone. Why was Emma so damn stubborn? She didn't need to do everything by herself. For a moment she considered suggesting Henry stay with his grandparents while she helped Emma get to the place she wanted to be in; but that hadn't gone down well last night or this morning. Regina could feel her anger ebbing to despair and desperation. Emma wanted to do what was best for their son and Regina wouldn't blame her for that. She would just have to settle for blaming her for everything else.

"I know…I'm sorry Emma, I didn't mean that. But you were just going to leave? I didn't deserve being told. I didn't deserve a chance to say goodbye? A chance to stop you. To make you see you didn't need to do this alone" Regina's sobs fell openly now as her hands gestured between them. Villains truly didn't get their happy endings. Greg Mendell had been right after all.

Emma didn't speak but an odd look flickered across her face. An emotion Regina couldn't name; but it made her angry. It made her sad. It made her frustrated and she just wanted to scream. She wanted nothing more than to wake up. This had to be bad dream. She would wake any minute and be wrapped in Emma's warm embrace and listen to her soothing words just as she always did when Regina suffered from bad dreams. She was going to wake up; it was nothing but a dream.

"Have I not earned that at least?" Regina said feeling her chest starting to ache as her sobs caught within it.

"I didn't want to hurt you" Emma whispered looking so damn sorry it made the ache worse. Regina could see it. Could see in her love's face she didn't want to hurt Regina and yet it was the very thing…the only thing she was achieving.

"Hurt me… you didn't want to hurt me" the brunette's tone carried the disbelief she felt and she saw Emma shudder at the force of it. "What exactly dear did you think leaving without an explanation…Leaving without saying _anything_ was going to do?", she continued watching Emma become smaller again. Regina wasn't meant to be the one to make her feel small. She was meant to make her feel invincible. "Right I'm just the evil queen … I have no emotions. Right?" the finished her voice cracking; because there is was. The elephant in the room.

Emma looked genuinely hurt. "I never said that Regina" she whispered as she moved forward to take Regina's hand.

"No…you're just leaving me" the former Queen said. It was a statement not a question. She felt Emma's fingers against her own, the only comfort she had. The only anchor to the world around them was clasped within her hand. Regina pleaded Emma with her eyes. Begged her to say no. To reconsider. To tell her she was staying and screw everything else.

But the reassurance never came. Instead Emma's whispered cry said "Yes I am".

The heartbroken noise fall from Regina lips so forcefully it hurt her chest. It hurt. She turned around seeing the empty cell, ripping her hand away from Emma's. She would not accept the comfort. She would not accept this reality. This can't be happening. They were happy. That damn Snow White…was ruining everything yet again. They were happy goddamn it!

Her hands covered her face as her tears fell and sobs rang out. The world around her seemed to blur and come to screeching stop. This was what they had been racing towards for weeks. The arguments, the fights. The tears and heartaches. They had been getting to this point faster and faster, Regina had known it was coming and fought so hard to stop it and yet here she was. Standing in the middle of carnage without a clue of how she got here or how to get out. She had been stripped of all defences. She'd let Emma in. Emma had promised her forever effortlessly and was ripping it away from her with just as much ease.

"Why?" Regina screamed crashing her hands down on top of the desk with none of the regal grace she knew she possessed. She revelled in the sharp physical pain in both of her palms. "Why?" she repeated with a cry. When no answer came, she turned to see Emma was still standing behind her, unmoving. "I need…I'll do anything. Please" Regina pleaded. She was no longer above begging the saviour. "I'll change. I want to. I do because I love you so damn much" Regina said fighting the urge to just crumple upon the floor at Emma's feet.

She saw the tears swimming in her lovers eyes. Watched as they slid shut and single tear fell. "You shouldn't. You shouldn't change and I don't want you to. You most certainly shouldn't love me" Emma whispered so quietly Regina would have had to strain to hear it if the silence around was them crushing them. She felt the anger surge within her yet again. Why did Emma not understand?

"I wasn't aware I had a choice in that" Regina cried. Closed fist hit Emma square in the chest pushing her backward. Regina heard Emma's previously occupied seat scrap upon the ground. Emma caught Regina's wrists effortlessly. "I love you", Regina said with determination. She would make Emma understand. "I tried to stop remember. It didn't work. Please Emma. Please stay…please" the former Mayor begged once again.

"I can't", Emma breathed her forehead now coming to rest upon her own. Regina could see the tears clinging to her lashes. It wasn't hard. Of course she could. She had to. Regina needed her to.

"Yes you can. You can stay and you can fight", the brunette reassured; feeling the hope she so desperately needed Emma to feel. "Tell me … tell me you don't love me and I'll let you walk out of that door. But if you can't then I will fight", Regina promised feeling determination pulse through her veins. "I want to fight for you Emma. I will talk to Snow. I will try harder with her. I know I let the past get in the way, but I'm better, I promise. I'll get even better. Please Emma I need you. I need you. Stay, please?" Regina rushed feeling her smile creep into her face. She so desperately wanted to kiss the lips she could see were quivering.

"I don't", Emma breathed.

Regina felt her heart sink lower than the hands Emma had let go of. It was just a simple unfinished sentence. Regina urged her on with her eyes. Emma was going to wake her from this nightmare as she always did. Emma would always catch Regina before she fell.

"I don't love you", Emma whispered. All that could be heard in the silent office was Regina's heart break. Emma was looking her dead in the eye now. This wasn't possible. How…was this possible? "I'm sorry" the blonde continued emotion cracking at her voice. When the other woman turned Regina wanted to move, to make her stop but her body wouldn't follow her brain's command. It wouldn't even reach forward and take the younger woman's hand. This had to be a joke. A cruel joke. Regina watched through her tear blurred vision as the woman she believed was her true love walk away. Looking down she saw Emma's handwriting naming Ruby as Storybrooke's new, permanent Sheriff.


	5. Chapter 4

**Title: **Last Thing You'll Do

**Author**: Calliope-plantain

**Rating:** M

**Pairing:**Regina/Emma

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Once. All characters in this story sadly do not belong to me; they're simply being borrowed for a little while, and then will be returned. This story was not written for profit and no copyright infringements are intended.

**Storyline:** Regina could say her life was perfect… and then it got turned upside down.

**Author's Note:**Sorry for the delay. I was away last weekend and had an interview to prepare for (which I didn't get). Hope this chapter makes up for the wait.

**Beta: **Scarlet-Marauder awesomely encouraged me to write this, and then was my beta. So any mistakes she's missed are her fault ;)

"_The next heart you crush will be mine" – 45-Spacer._

Just over three months after that fatal day Regina found herself in her newly made Haven. Over the years she had become accustomed to making homemade meals for her and her son. They occasionally indulged as a treat, had their evening meals at Granny's. During her time with Emma these trips out had become more frequent. Emma was always willing to show off their relationship with the town and often went that little further to make those small family nights out that little extra special. This place was the only Emma solid place where Regina felt she could stand the absent blonde's presence.

It felt odd to enter the dinner with Henry and no longer feel the community's stares upon them. It seemed they had lost interest in whether the former Queen would break down or their son would become unstable in the absence of his other mother. There had been one set of eyes on them as they had entered though. The same pair which it seemed had been watching her every waking movement for months now. Snow White's.

Regina had ensured to keep the relationship open between Henry and his birthmother's parents. While at times both parties' dislike and disdain for the other was painstakingly obvious, both…for the most part bite their tongue and were civil for the sake of the young teen. Regina nor Snow however could say they had remained completely civil when the young boy was not around. Snow on more than one occasion had sought out her former step-mother to share her views and feelings on the matter of Emma leaving town; and how it was entirely her fault. Regina now tried when possible to have Henry with her when these little visits could occur.

Snow had watched them enter, walk to their seats and order their meal. Time as Queen had taught her to watch those around her, while being undetected. Their audience's attention had been pulled away from their show by her phone ringing. The look on the face of the other woman told her, it was Emma who was on the other end. This cut through Regina like a knife through butter. It took all her willpower even after three months of no contact, not to walk over to the other woman and rip the device out of her hand. Regina wasn't sure however if she'd scream at Emma or crush the cell into a million pieces; so she'd just enjoy her meal with her son.

Frequently sparing a glance in Snow's direction, she was thankful their meal came quickly and mercifully Henry ate his food speedily though quietly. She was surprised at Henry's lack of conversation though since he was meant to be going to his grandparents' later she supposed it meant he would return in the morning full of stories.

Just before she and Henry left she saw Snow rise from her seat and gave her a meaningful look. It even seemed the pixie haired woman wanted to come over to talk to her. There was no way Regina was going to give the people of Storybrooke yet another chance to see Snow try and put her in place, and it most certainly wasn't going to happen in front of her son.

Regina placed money on the table before telling Henry they were going home. The drive was almost silent. It was calming. It was hard to believe it was coming up to July. The last year had gone too fast. Both the good and the bad. Though the worst seemed to drag on. It was harder still to believe it had been just over three months since Emma had walked out of her life.

Upon reaching their house Henry had jumped out of the car and rushed to get his bag ready. Why he hadn't gotten it ready before their trip to the diner she didn't know. The exchange would have been better in the public forum. But it would have meant she would have to talk to Snow. However as it turned out several hours after their return home, it had been Charming who had come to get Henry. Apparently Snow had sent him round on his way home, claiming to be too busy to pick up Henry.

Regina had bite back the remark she had felt rise within her. Snow had been too busy to pick up her own grandson. Maybe she was too busy to have him spend the night as well. But she could not do that to her son. Henry got excited about the time he spent with Snow and Charming. So she hadn't said a word.

It still surprised her that apart from the odd dirty look in the first few weeks after Emma's departure from the town, Charming had been completely civil with her. Unlike his wife, Charming had never shown dislike or discomfort in their relationship. She had often wondered if Emma had spoken to her father about it. She however had seen the same feeling of betrayal in the man's eyes she often felt at one of Henry's recalls of Snow's phone calls from Emma. It was clear it was a privilege Emma only divulged with her mother. Not once had Emma made contact with Regina. Not through letters, email not even a phone call. Unless you counted what Regina assumed was a miss dial or an accident.

Though the many stories Henry came home with after his days at his grandparents suggested the blonde contacted Snow multiple times a week. It had surprised her to see that Henry did not seem angry with his birthmother for leaving; more of a surprise was that he didn't seem to blame Regina for it either. Maybe it was Henry's still childlike qualities which made him believe Emma might one day return to Storybrooke. Despite Emma's indefinite answer of when she would return Regina suspected the former Sheriff never would. If she did Regina knew things in the small town, in her own home would never be the same again.

Regina understood now how divorced parents must feel. Henry frequently talked about his other mother. The times they had spent together just them; as a family. The good. The bad. Also with Henry's stories of Emma's latest act of heroism or work related injury Regina could almost feel the blonde's presence. The stories had such detail that Regina had often found herself dreaming about them. Though Henry remained adamant he never spoke to the missing woman, only retelling the tales Snow told him. Henry's storytelling was not helped by the fact that every place Regina went in the small town seemed to be tainted in Emma's memory and her lingering presence seemed to hang over the place like an unseen ghost.

* * *

"_Hey" Emma said coming to stand beside her in her spot of refuge in front of the merry diner. Everyone was so happy they were back. Five days. That was all that had passed since their departure. She had known of course Neverland ran on a different clock to other worlds but the weeks they had spent on that island had been the equivalent of five days. Just five! It seemed impossible and yet here they were. _

_She turned her head slightly to see Emma wearing a coat she was pretty sure didn't belong to her. It was thicker than was necessary in Storybrooke in July; though if she was honest with herself the air did hold a slight chill. The temperature difference between their small town and Neverland was quite astonishing. _

_She noticed Emma was holding a cup and by the smell of it, it held coffee. She was momentarily surprised when the blonde held it out to her. Emma had brought her coffee. She took it with a tight smile. She had come out for quiet. For a moment's pause in the craziness that had occurred in the last few hours alone. Though she did not mind the other woman's presence next to her. _

"_It's too loud in there. Henry is telling anyone who will listen what happened in Neverland. I think he likes being in the centre of one of his stories for a change" Emma explained as she gazed across the road almost absentmindedly much as Regina had been doing only minutes before. _

"_I highly suspect your right" Regina replied taking a gulp of the hot liquid more for something to do than any need for fluid. She instantly regretted the action as she felt the coffee burn its way down. "Hot" the brunette explained at the puzzled look on the other woman's face. "Yes Regina hot coffee is usually hot", Regina reprimanded herself silently at her own stupidity. _

_Emma gave her a small grin before nodding though her amusement was clearly evident. _

"_I came out here for my own peace and quiet. As you say it's too loud" Regina explained and saw Emma's face drop. She then watched as Emma's face blushed deeply. _

"_Urgh…sorry I'll leave you to it" Emma said in a tone of clear embarrassment as she turned to leave. _

_Though Regina found she did not want to be alone. She had grown quite fond of the blonde's company. She'd become accustomed to it. That was all. She'd become used to having the younger woman around. Though even to her own surprise she called after her "No. It's okay Emma. I don't mind". _

_She saw the smile. It was genuine and sincere and made her dark eyes sparkle. It took her a moment to realise she'd called the other woman by her name, not title. There was little point anymore. Emma was her name and she had been calling her it while in Neverland. It was idiotic to pretend things hadn't changed between them. _

"_Okay" was Emma's only reply as she came to stand next to Regina, before silence fell between them once again. Neither spoke. The obnoxiously loud voices and laughter behind them from the small diner were hushed but little else. _

_Emma moved and when Regina turned she saw she was now leaning back against the building. "Who's coat is that?" was the brunette's only question. _

_Emma looked down at the garment as if noticing for the first time it wasn't her own. "Ruby's" the Sheriff replied. It was difficult to believe Ruby owned something which covered so much. However Ruby was a good few inches taller than the blonde, but not tall enough to explain the amount of skin Emma wasn't showing. _

_Regina took a moment to consider that thought. She was disappointed that Emma wasn't showing more skin. She knew she was attracted to Emma. She could admit to herself if nothing else she'd known for a while. It hadn't mattered though. She was the saviour. Snow White's daughter. She was her enemy. Regina however had seen how hard Emma had fought for her son. Their son. Calling Henry their son was almost second nature now. Regina had never thought she'd share her son with anyone and yet here she was, doing just that. . _

_Things had changed. She placed her small cup on the table nearest them and noted Emma's look of confusion. Regina wasn't sure how much time had passed since she'd last spoke but it was clear by the look on the saviour's face it had been a while. _

"_Regina?" Emma asked attentively. Regina took a moment. She considered what she was about to do. She shouldn't be thinking about it, never mind actually considering doing it. But she had to. They had saved Henry. At times she had doubted they would even see him again, never mind escape that horrible place. She had seen Emma's depression and anguish has they fought to get Henry's heart back from Pan. She had seen it and understood it because it was just like hers. It was that of a parent. _

_Regina leant in and heard Emma's gasp. Whether it was from the sensation or surprise Regina didn't know. All she knew was that the other woman did not push her away or show any sign of objection. Emma was simply staring back at her. Her eyes seemed darker than usual. Despite the layers between them Regina could still feel the heat radiating from the younger woman. Regina was flush against her frame. _

_She saw Emma's gaze drift to her lips and found herself licking her top lip; and watching as Emma's eyes darkened further. She could just lean slightly forward and they'd be kissing. She'd be a fool to deny she hadn't thought about it. She'd thought about it so many times over the last few months. God even the night Emma had brought Henry home, Regina knew she found her son's birthmother attractive. _

_Suddenly they were kissing. Who moved to break the distance she wasn't sure. She didn't care. The soft lips against her own her like nothing she could have imagined. Emma's usual crass mouth felt amazing against hers. Regina pushed herself further still in Emma's body and heard the small moan of pleasure as she nearly ground her into the wall behind her. _

_The kiss was heated, quick and passionate. It was full of the pent up emotions and energy both women had been holding onto for so long. Long before Neverland. As lips, teeth and tongues collided over and over Regina felt she'd found her oasis. The way Emma's hands roamed her back trying to gain that much more pressure and contact made her brain blur around the edges. She was kissing Emma. _

_She was kissing Emma Swan. She was kissing the mother of her son and the daughter of her most hatred enemy. She was kissing her and she, Regina had initiated it. She pulled back panting slightly, noting Emma was too. She saw the lazy grin the other woman shot her; and watched it fall as she pulled away completely. _

"_Regina?" Emma asked breathlessly; clearly as confused as Regina felt, though for completely different reasons._

* * *

"_Fine" Regina said only slightly grudgingly. Emma's eyebrows lowered in confusion, her spoon which had just previously held cereal now stuck out from her lips. Emma was sitting at the small breakfast bar in her mother's kitchen and was oblivious to the internal monologue Regina had been carrying on with herself on the drive over to pick Henry up. _

"_What?" Emma asked placing her spoon back in the bowl with a loud clatter. It wasn't the Sheriff's fault she was coming into the conversation half the way through. Regina could hear Henry moving around the room he was currently sharing with his father. Two weeks back from Neverland and Neal was still hanging around. Henry adored his father and seemed to be enjoying his company and attention; but Regina didn't. She couldn't help but wait for him to leave Henry, just as he'd abandoned the woman in front of her. _

_The brunette took a small but steady breath before she spoke again. "I'll go out with you" Regina said reluctantly in low voice so it didn't carry up to the room above. She saw Emma's smile form and turn into a full pledge beam. _

_Since their kiss outside Granny's Emma had asked Regina out on a "date" every time she had seen her…and Regina had refused. She was not a teenage girl. But every time the younger woman had asked Regina felt her resolve lessen. She knew now what Emma's body felt like pressed against her own and the taste of her lips. She knew now and couldn't forget. That memory was engrained and had made frequent visits to her in the sleeping hours. _

_She saw the smug grin the other woman shot her as another loaded spoonful of cereal was place into Emma's mouth. The one time Emma had not asked her was the one time she had accepted. She'd just admitted to thinking about Emma's request more than she had been denying it for the last two weeks. Maybe she was a bit like a young woman with a crush. A teen in love. _

_That thought hurt a little more than she had expected. She didn't love Emma. She was attracted to her; she'd known that for a long time. But the idea of love. The possibility of being in love with Emma…that scared her. She couldn't help the thought of Daniel. The last person she's allowed herself to love. It could not end the same way with Emma. She wouldn't let it. _

"_It will be at my house" Regina stated noting the look of smugness did not shift from the saviour's face. She was not ready for their relationship whatever this was or could be to public knowledge just yet. The longer the better in fact. _

"_Okay" Emma said back, clearly not caring about the venue. The blonde had already sussed Regina's reluctance of a public relationship over a week ago; making promises that if she agreed they could be as discreet as she needed. Regina hadn't admitted the blonde was right, but the look on Emma's face told her, she understood. _

"_And I will cook. Don't want you give us both food poisoning" Regina added noting Emma's frown as another spoonful was placed slightly more forcefully than was needed in her mouth. _

_Before Emma could reply Henry bellowed down the small stairs, "Emma…I need your help! I think I just broke dad's nose"._

* * *

_Her breathing was rapid. So rapid it was burning her throat at the force at which her body was trying to get the air into her lungs. Her skin tingled and she felt flushed. She felt on fire and it had nothing to do with magic. It was because of the woman laid half on top of her. It felt incredible beneath Emma's weight. Hearing Emma's quickened breathing next to her ear and feeling the pounding heart near her own; felt incredible. _

_Emma made to move but Regina grabbed her arm. "Stay" she asked and watched Emma smile with an air of disbelief. _

"_I'm squashing you" the Sheriff replied matter-of-factly a tight grin plastered on her beautiful face. _

"_No you're not. Stay" Regina stated with a plea. _

_Emma huffed gently but settled down back on top of Regina's small frame. Her head tucked beneath her chin. Emma's hair was tickling her face. Nothing more was heard as their breathing levelled, in Emma's case so levelled out Regina assumed she'd fallen asleep. Regina's hand traced mindless patterns against the blonde's fair skin. It felt good and right with Emma so close. She felt as if Emma belonged pressed against her. Their bodies fit perfectly like a completed jigsaw. _

_She was pulled out of her thoughts when the woman on her shifted slightly. She heard in Emma's voice her submission to the pull of sleep as the blonde whispered into her shoulder, "Love you". Regina felt her breath hitch and heart skip a beat. What had Emma just said? She loved her. Emma had said she loved her. Three months together and Emma had said she loved her. Regina realised her hand had stopped its dance upon Emma's back and quickly resumed its ministrations before Emma could notice the hiccup. Though based on the blonde's breathing against Regina's bare chest the other woman had finally fallen asleep. _

_Emma loved her. Regina knew she loved Emma. She'd known it for a while. She felt the emotion from deep within and it scared her. She was scared of losing Emma, losing whatever this was that they had been sharing. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't tried to stop her feelings from developing. She tried her hardest not to love the woman tucked against her. People she loved only got hurt. She couldn't love Emma; and yet she could do little else._

* * *

_Her heels were not suitable for the sand beneath their feet. The cold salt air nipped at her face; thankful her hands were tucked safely into her coat pockets. She'd let Emma pick their evening out. Only the blonde would pick an evening stroll on the beach in December. No one else was around because no one else was such an idiot to walk on the beach in almost minus temperatures. No one around also meant no one would her arm linked with the woman's next to her. _

_Their relationship had been made public just under two months ago but Regina still felt uneasy with public displays of affection. Her relationship with Emma was theirs. It had surprised her how affectionate Emma was. Whether it be notes where she knew Regina would find them, her favourite flowers being delivered to her at unexpected times. The people of Storybrooke had guessed Regina was being romanced by someone; their secret was revealed at Granny's when Emma couldn't help herself. _

_She wasn't angry with Emma who was chatting away about her time spent with Henry that day. Regina had known their relationship would be found out eventually but she had enjoyed the secretiveness, it made it special. Though there were times she couldn't help but consider how her relationship with Daniel had been. It had been full of secrets and stolen kisses. Only her mother wasn't around to destroy it. But Emma's was. _

_Snow had not taken well to the news. Once they realised people knew Emma had told Regina she had to tell Snow. She knew Emma was right. They had officially told Henry who didn't seem to mind. The second was Snow. Emma had said it was something she should do alone. Which was probably for the best. According to Emma she'd never seen someone go so pale which was quite a feat considering her former stepdaughter's fair complexion. _

_Emma came to a stop in the middle of the abandoned beach. It was only then Regina really noticed the stars flickering above them. They were beautiful. The last few days Snow had threatened to fall, often falling for a few hours at a time. These spells however had allowed the skies to clear. The night sky looked almost like those in The Enchanted Forest so long ago. The moon was full in the sky casting them in an almost magical light. _

_Regina shivered and not for the first time since they started their walk. She heard Emma's light chuckle as she pulled her linked arm away. The brunette went to object at the change but a gasp fell from her mouth instead. Emma had pressed her full length into Regina's back. Her arms enveloped her, strong hands slid across her stomach pulling her in. The difference in temperate change was instant. Emma's heat radiated through their clothes engulfing her. Emma's chin came to rest upon her shoulder; her breath tickling her cheek._

_It felt incredible. To be held as if she was precious, something that needed to be protected. Emma's hold tightened further still and it made Regina's head spin. She'd fought so long to be happy; and here Emma was. She'd fought their time together so far. She couldn't fall in love. Villains didn't get their happy endings. Yet here Emma was. Ready to give herself so completely. Emma had already said she loved Regina, several times since her first confession a month ago and it made her heart pound at the words…at the thought. She was loveable. Someone loved her. _

_The moon shone across the slightly lapping waves. The sea reflected its rays almost perfectly. The stars twinkled above them; Emma's embrace warming her body, heart and soul. This was her happy ending. This was what she's been looking for. She'd spent her life fighting the endless wars in her world and had fled fighting the demons of her past only to end up in arms of her … true love. It hit her so hard it made her feel momentarily giddy. She'd fought Emma for so long despite knowing she loved her. When she had realised her feelings towards the blonde had developed into love she didn't know, but she couldn't…wouldn't keep fighting it. _

"_I love you" Regina whispered her voice seemed to be carried on the frozen air around them. _

"_I know" Emma replied straight into her ear, her tone carrying a hint of smugness. _

_Regina couldn't help the annoyed huffed that fell from her lips. "Really dear I say I love you and that's your response" the former Queen quipped. She wouldn't show it but Emma's blasé reply did hurt a little. _

_Emma placed a gentle kiss at the crux of Regina's neck with a mumbled apology. The gesture as it always did caused the brunette to shiver; one that had nothing to do with the chilled air around them. "It means more than I can ever say to hear you say it but you've been telling me every day for months now. With your actions…and gestures. I know you love me. I love you too" Emma's whisper felt like soothing balm against her anxious heart. Emma's declaration made it jump within her chest. _

_Regina grinned. She really grinned and it hurt her frozen cheeks but she didn't care. She turned in Emma's arms and placed a kiss upon the other woman's lips. They felt warm as they moved beneath her own. "God I love you" Emma whispered softly with a small laugh; her eyes seemed to sparkle in the moonlight. Wrapped in the arms of the woman she loved and who loved her back, standing on a freezing cold beach in completely unsuitable footwear Regina knew she'd found her happy ending._

* * *

_Upon entering the house she heard music and Henry's loud voice carry down the stairs. "You totally did. You cheated!" Henry said far too loudly. There was no way he would have shouted so loudly if he knew Regina was home. It hardly surprised her that their son was home; neither did it surprise her to then hear Emma replying back. Based on the tone and loudness of both she shared her life with, they were playing some game. Regina slipped her shoes off to ensure neither heard her coming and was thankful the stairs beneath her weight did not creak. Following the noise told her they were in Henry's bedroom. _

_Both Emma and Henry seemed to be engrossed in the game they were playing. It was funny seeing the exact same look of concentration on their faces. There had been times in the first year of Emma's stay in Storybrooke where Regina internally denied any resemblance between Henry and his birth mother. There was none; any was mere consequence. But looking at them interact, the more time she spent with Emma the more she saw. They had the same mannerisms, the same laugh though the pitch differed. There was no denying it now, and Regina loved it. _

_There was no way Emma should be home now; she still had at least an hour left at the station. Even when they practically lived under the same roof Henry managed to steal his mother's attention away from her job. Regina grinned as she saw Emma mouthing along to whatever was playing on the docking station. It was some song about love and grinned tighter when she saw Emma shift her shoulder to a particular heavy beat of the music. The only dance move she was able to do while still playing the game. Regina moved slightly to see what game they were playing when she saw Emma grin. It took her a moment to realise she'd been caught; though Emma's gaze never shifted from the screen. _

_It was then Henry's turn to notice her standing in the doorway. He however did turn his head. "Hey!" Emma shouted in irritation as the teen paused their game. "Sore loser" Emma shot at him with a fond annoyance only a parent could pull off as he clambered over the top of her._

"_Sorry… I need a drink" Henry stated as if it was obvious. Though Regina could see from boy's score he was clearly losing. It was only when Henry reached the doorway his older mother was leaning against did he turn and asked Emma "Do you want one?"_

"_I'm pretty sure Emma is meant to be at work" Regina answered for her girlfriend and watched Emma roll her eyes. _

_Regina bite back a grin as Henry rolled his eyes in the exact same way before stomping passed her, yet another trait he'd gained from Emma. _

"_His school rang, said he wasn't well and asked me to pick him" Emma explained shifting on the bed she laid on. She was surprised Emma hadn't called her, not because she needed to but Emma often felt it necessary to check almost everything with Regina when it came to their son. At first it had felt odd because in the months prior to their relationship Emma hadn't cared whether Regina approved of anything they did together. She soon realised it was because Emma was scared of doing something wrong. It warmed her that after six months of Emma tip toeing around Regina and her own mothering role in Henry's life that the blonde was finally okay with making decisions and knew Regina would be okay with them._

"_He seems okay now" Regina said with a quip and watched Emma smile with a shake of her head, as the brunette fully entered the room. Henry often as a child could be nearing death's door at school, once Regina got him home he'd be bouncing off the walls. Though more often than not, he did crash. Something she supposed they would have to watch for._

"_Hmmm…if you want me to go back to work I can" Emma said her tone carrying a hint of smugness. She knew what Regina's answer would be as she sat next to the now sitting blonde. _

"_No… I'm happy with you here… but you are a push over dear" Regina hushed so Henry wouldn't hear. Why she bothered she didn't know. From the moment Emma had stepping into Storybrooke that child had his birth mother wrapped around his little finger; and he knew it._

"_So you keep telling me", Emma said with a tone of exaggeration and boredom. A tone that did not work when accompanied with a laugh and jut of Emma's eyebrow._

"_Move in with us?" Regina asked. To say Regina was surprised she had asked as understatement. It was completely out of nowhere. Well no, it was something she'd wanted to ask for a while but never found the right moment; but coming home to hear Emma and Henry's laughing and ridiculously loud voices was something she never wanted to end. She felt like she finally had a home when she walked into this house and could hear them doing whatever they were doing. She looked forward to seeing them and often felt disappointed when Emma wasn't there. She felt at home at last, the nights Emma stayed over and felt something was missing the nights she didn't._

_She saw the Sherriff's eyes widen in shock. "What?" Emma asked incredulously. Regina felt her anxiety levels soar. It was too soon. Emma wasn't ready. She shouldn't have asked._

"_I mean if you want to… you're always here and then you need to leave. If you want to keep staying with your mother I understand…" Regina said trying to backtrack as much as she could. Trying to make it sound more like a suggestion rather than the very thing she wanted. It was nothing if Emma declined, it wouldn't break her heart. _

"_Yes" Emma said cutting of her ramblings. _

"_Yes?" Regina said pretty sure she was hearing things and her wishful thinking was getting the better of her. _

"_Yes I want to live with you…both of you" Emma explained looking a little uncertain herself, still clearly a little thrown by the question. _

"_Really?" Regina said trying for scepticism though failing miserably as her own delight shone through her tone. _

"_Yeah", her lover answered softly with a grin, looking more and more sure and assertive by the second. Regina felt overwhelmed. Her heart skipped a beat at the grin and absolute certainty beaming from Emma's face. She was moving in with them. She was actually coming to live with her and Henry. The former queen leant forward capturing the grinning lips and felt them respond instantly to hers. The kiss was simple and unrushed. It was soft but promising. _

"_I can hear you kissing you know" Henry's booming voice travelled through the house. She heard Emma's snort of laughter before she buried her head in the crux of Regina shoulder in what Regina assumed was embarrassment. Yeah this was where she was always meant to be._

* * *

_Their first anniversary. She thought first because she knew they'd have more. She knew that now. Their first of many. Emma had wined and dined her. Emma had paid with her own money not their joined account. She had said she wanted Regina to feel special. She'd achieved just that. _

_After their meal they'd gone for a walk and somehow has they often did these days found themselves walking along the beach. Regina had taken off her shoes and carried them feeling the hot sand in between her toes. Unlike their first visit down here over eight months ago the wind was warm against her skin. It was hard to believe a year had passed. It felt like no time had passed and yet she felt as if she'd been at Emma's side forever. _

_She couldn't remember now what Emma had said, but something had sparked a thought of Daniel. A year together. Emma deserved to hear their story. The blonde knew the facts or most of them from Henry's book but she did not know it all. She did not know of the pain and anguish her fiancée's death had caused. She did not know of the struggles Regina had gone through daily at his loss. She didn't know, and so Regina shared it all. _

_Their brief walk had ended up being hours along as they'd sat on the sun-heated sand. The waves had lapped gently as Emma had comforted her as she'd cried and kept her distance when it was needed. It astonished Regina that the woman knew her so well. Emma knew what Regina needed and when she needed it. Furthermore she had listened. No one had been good enough, special enough to hear her and Daniel's story. Regina however also realised that no one had cared enough to listen. _

_Emma had listened as Regina told of their meeting, falling in love and their plans to run away. She'd listened as she explained about their secret relationship and terror at being caught by her mother. She'd listened and even shed a few of her own tears as she held Regina extra tight as she recited Daniel's death and days that followed. She's listened with understanding in her eyes that Regina did not deserve as she explained her deeds as the named "Evil Queen". Regina did not go into detail but explained her thoughts and emotions as she transformed into the villain in their son's book. She explained, not justified; and Emma understood and listened. _

_Emma understood the gift and trust being given to her. She understood it and protected it. Emma had promised this night would make her feel special and Emma had done just that without even trying. _

_Regina had grabbed the blonde's hand pulling her upwards and dragging her along behind her after she explained of Whale's attempt to revive Daniel in this world. Much like the attempt in their world, this one had failed too but with even more dire consequences. _

_Regina had driven faster than she remembered ever driving before. She wanted…no needed to share it all with the blonde whose hand was clutching her thigh in reassurance. Emma had not spoken since they'd entered the car but Regina could feel her gaze upon her. Regina hadn't looked across at the blonde knowing her resolve would break. She needed to do this. _

_Pulling up at the stables she felt her heart sink a little at the sight of it and heard Emma's small gasp of recognition. She left the car without looking back. No need to lock the car there wasn't anyone around. _

"_You don't need to do this you know" Emma said almost running after her. Yes they did. She needed this. She needed to share this and this place with her partner. As soon as she opened the door the smell hit her. The smell of hay, straw and the distinct smell of horses. The smell of her past. Emma collided with her back, and it was only then she realised her erupt halt. _

_She was standing in the very place she'd been avoiding for all those years. She'd only entered it over a year ago to stop her son from being hurt. Hurt by the man she'd loved. Henry over the years had begged to go horse riding and she'd said no. Repeatedly. She couldn't keep running from this place. _

_She felt Emma's arm wrap itself around her middle and felt momentarily guilty. Daniel died here; and here she was in the arms of someone else. But Daniel's last words wash over her. "He told me love again" Regina whispered knowing the woman so close to her would hear it. Much as she had done when Regina said the same words on the beach, Emma gripped at Regina's middle that little bit tighter. _

"_Promise you won't leave me" Regina breathed and felt a tear fall as she stared at the very spot she'd last seen Daniel. _

"_I promise" Emma reassured gently, resting her chin on Regina's shoulder. _

"_You shouldn't make promises you can't keep" Regina replied sadly. _

_She heard the slight huff from the other woman but her grip on her did not loosen as she said "You're right. But I can promise to be here, with you for as long as I have a say in it. I'm not going anywhere for a very long time. That I can promise"._

* * *

_Pain shot through her arm as she collided with the door frame. Stupid Christmas Day! She felt Emma bodily move her away from the hard wooden frame, and guide her into their house with deliberate care. She kicked her shoes off not caring where they landed before stalking her way through the house feeling the ground beneath her feet spin. _

_She heard Emma's huff as she followed in her wake. It was only in the kitchen the brunette turned on the light which made her eyes sting. It was like a sharp stab to each eye and she heard her low groan of pain. Why had she drank so much? She felt Emma's hand on her arm, and the gentle pull upon it. She resisted the urge to pull the limb away but Emma's persistence was stronger than her will to pull away. _

_She let herself be led into the dark study where Emma pushed her onto one of the sofas before moving behind her. The light from the lamp behind her was much kinder on the eyes through even the small amount of light it was emitting stung her eyes a little. Emma didn't even look back as she left the room but Regina could hear her moving around the kitchen. _

_When she returned Emma was carrying a small glass tumbler of water which was thrust upon on with a slight glare. Regina hadn't meant to drink so much. She had just needed something to get her through Christmas dinner with the Charmings and Neal. She had taken a small hip flask with whisky in to drink if and when she felt it was necessary. The hours in the Charming's household had proven it was necessary. _

_She let out another groan though this one was of pleasure as the cold water soothed her throat. She knew even now she was going to have a hangover come morning. Despite her clear annoyance at Regina's state Emma still moved to sit beside her and brushed a piece of fly away hair, away from her face. _

"_Was the whisky really needed?" Emma asked actually sounded more amused than annoyed. _

"_Yes" Regina replied without missing a beat. _

_Emma rolled her eyes with a smile before placing a small kiss upon Regina's cheek. The former mayor knew she was blushing though found she did not care. "It wasn't that bad" Emma retorted. _

"_Maybe for you it wasn't. Or our son. But for me it was hell. I didn't sign up for holidays with your mother and your ex" Regina explained with a gesture of her glass and saw Emma dart out of the way of the water which had spilt at the action. The blonde glared, her eyes softened at Regina's sheepish smile. Regina knew how to soften Emma. It still made her smile at how much she knew the woman before her. How she had stupidly resisted this sixteen months ago. _

_Except she didn't know Emma. That it seemed had become quite clearly over the last few hours. "You never said you were a stripper" Regina stated trying to keep her drunken slurs to a minimum. _

_Emma's eyes rolled again though no smile followed. She had noticed Emma's blatant glare at Neal's throw away comment about Emma's dancing days back at Snow's. Despite Emma's insistence that the conversation end Snow had asked Neal questions. Regina knew it was only natural considering how much Snow had missed of her daughter's life. It soon became apparent to no one but Regina it seemed that Emma's dancing had been of the sexual nature. _

_She felt her blood boil at the thought. She knew of course Emma had slept with other people; their son was living proof of that. Also by extension others but her had seen the blonde naked but she did not like it. She did not like that people had paid to see her lover's body. That her lover had danced for them. That Neal had been there, seen it, and shared those memories with her. A secret Emma had not shared with her. _

"_I was not a stripper. I was an erotic dancer. There is a difference", Emma explained as if she were explaining something very simple to a small child. _

"_Did you take off your clothes for money?" Regina asked ignoring Emma's previous statement._

"_Well yes, but not off…off" Emma floundered as she explained. That was good to know. It made her feel marginally better._

"_Did you give them lap dances?" Regina asked, not entirely sure she wanted the answer. _

"_Oh god. This is worse than Neal talking about it with my mother" Emma groaned placing her head in her hands. Regina did feel a pang of sympathy for the blonde. _

"_That didn't answer the question" the brunette stated; her drunken reflexes not as good as they usually were when Emma's head shot up only to stare in disbelief. _

"_What do you want to hear?" Emma barked. "Yes I was dancer. I was hard up and rather than steal I tried my hand at dancing. The pay wasn't bad. Yes I danced for people. Yes I gave lap dances, they paid more" Emma explained and Regina saw despite Emma's look of annoyance at her questioning she was worried that Regina was judging her. She wasn't judging her. She was trying to gain the facts. _

"_Which Neal was fine with?" Regina asked sceptically, placing a hand on Emma's knee. _

"_Yeah he was the one who got me the gig. A friend of his owned the joint and with a fake ID I got in. I was there for like six months tops" Emma continued explaining as if it was the most common thing in the world. _

"_Did you sleep with any of them?" Regina asked and regretted the question immediately. This was clearly a conversation they should have had when she was sober. She saw the look of hurt in Emma's eyes and knew the answer before Emma gave it. _

"_Regina! I said I was an erotic dancer not a prostitute. No of course I didn't sleep with them! What the hell…" the blonde barked, throwing her head back against the sofa. She didn't mean to hurt Emma by her questions but as her partner she believed she deserved to know. _

"_I'm sorry but I'm having a hard time with the idea that Neal was fine with it, never mind encourage it. No girlfriend of mine would do that" Regina responded giving a small rub to the thigh beneath her palm. The man just sat there and directed his girlfriend around while other men shoved dollars in her underwear. _

"_Well I'm sorry but I did, living out of the back seat of your car kinder makes you desperate" Emma shot back and Regina realised her mistake. _

"_No that's not what I meant… I don't share very well. I couldn't. I would probably cause some serious harm to anyone who touched you" Regina explained careful and saw Emma's head tilt to the side if considering what she was telling her. But more important she saw Emma's face lose its look of annoyance and anger. She knew Emma heard the truth in her words. "I have a difficult enough time when Neal even looks at you. He still loves you" Regina admitted feeling momentarily silly. _

"_You're jealous of Neal" Emma said a look of dawning appearing on her face. In the past Regina hadn't liked how well Emma seemed to know her, seem to see right through her. Now she cherished it. She was finally understood, and she knew despite feeling a little foolish for yes, being jealous, she knew Emma would never use it against her. "I don't want him you know" the blonde said softly with a reassuring smile, making Regina's heart flutter. _

"_I do", the former queen admitted with a nod. "But he has this past with you…and these memories that I don't get to be part of" she continued feeling her heart quicken slightly. She had had these thoughts and feelings since the beginning. She doubted…no she knew Emma would never stray, but that knowledge and trust didn't make the feeling lessen. _

"_No you don't, you're right" Emma said with a nod taking Regina's hand in her own. Despite the smile on Emma's face Regina felt as if she was waiting for the other foot to drop. Emma was going to say something and confirm her fears. "Except we're making a future and our own memories. Memories no one else get to be a part of. Just me, you and Henry. That's way more important and special to me" Emma explained so gently and carefully it made Regina's heart skip a beat and she knew she was moments away from crying. The whisky in her system wasn't helping her keep a reign on her emotions. _

"_You were a stripper or an erotic dancer whatever you call it and you never told me" Regina stated and watched Emma sigh slightly. _

"_You never asked", Emma said now looking down at the hand clasped in her own. "I had a lot of jobs to get by. Dancing, waitress, I briefly considered going back to dancing when I got out of prison but they didn't really offer a training programme to help me lose my baby weight…trust me no one wanted to see that", Emma explained with a small but superficial laugh as she traces lines across the back of Regina's hand. She was not able to look at her. _

"_So I ended up doing a short stint of lounge singing …. Yeah that kinder went fairly quickly considering I can barely hold a note. I went back to waitressing until I got the bail bonds gig" Emma continued sighing deeply. "I'm not proud of the things I did. Dancing, stealing…there's nothing wrong with dancing in fact I am impressed by the guts and confidence it takes to do it. But it wasn't for me. I did what I had to" Emma explained before finally looking up. She was almost pleading Regina with her eyes for her to understand. She did. _

"_I know. I'm sorry" Regina said, taking hold of the hand previously playing with her own. _

"_You're it for me. There are things from my past which I don't like to talk about" Emma explained quietly._

_Regina snorted. She knew the feeling all too well and from Emma's raised eyebrow she understood the reasoning for Regina's noise. _

"_If you wanna know something ask. I'm not going to bite" the Sheriff reassured her tenderly, now not breaking eye contact. "Yes I have a past with Neal. I have a lot of memories with Neal and some are good…but he's still the bastard who abandoned me and carted me off to jail…pregnant with his kid. I put up with him now for Henry. Henry wanted his father there today that was the only reason I agreed" Emma explained with such certainly and determination that Regina just had to believe her. _

"_Your mother was more than happy to have him there. Pretty sure she thinks she can spark things up again" Regina responded with a slight snarky drawl, though it wasn't aimed at Emma but her insufferable mother. _

"_She is an idiot then, because I am happily spoken for" Emma stated looking at Regina as if she was daring her to disagree; and she couldn't help but smile both at her use of Regina favourite pet name for Snow and her declaration. She was happily spoken for, and Regina wouldn't have it any other way._

"_I'm glad to hear it" Regina said with an exaggerated nod. She saw Emma smile. It was smile that was reserved just for her. Her special smile. The one that made her eyes sparkle. "I won't get you pregnant and then cart you off to jail" Regina said with a slight tease in her voice, though her sentiment was quite serious. She wasn't going anywhere. _

"_If you can get me pregnant you can cart me anywhere you want" Emma replied with a slight laugh and grin. It took Regina a moment to consider what Emma had just said. _

"_You think about that?" the brunette asked in astonishment. Regina knew Emma was her true love. Her always and forever. She even knew that Emma felt the same, but the idea of what their future together would look like… that she didn't know Emma had thought about._

"_Well …. Yeah. I mean yeah someday…maybe. I guess whatever happens I'm okay with. If we end up having more I'm up for it. If it's us and Henry that would be perfect too" Emma flailed as she explained, getting steadily more flushed with embarrassment as she continued. _

"_You're incredible" Regina blurted out with a grin. Emma didn't always say everything right, but she when she did she said it perfectly. _

"_I think that might be the whisky talking", the blonde said with tone of laughter to her voice though still looked unsure at her own confession. _

"_Maybe. But it's still true" the former Queen said, deliberately. She watched as Emma's face broke into a grin clearly deciding her admission was okay to share. _

"_I love you" her partner said simply as if it was the easiest thing in the world to say_

_Regina replied back just as easily, "I love you too". It was the easiest thing in the world. Loving Emma always had been. She'd tried not to, and despite her hardest attempts the other woman had wormed her way into heart and she was there to stay. Forever. She liked the sound of that. _

_Leaning forward she heard the leather sofa beneath them squeak but she didn't care. Taking possession of her lover's mouth with her own, she cared for little else. Regina could still feel the whiskey buzzing through her system; though it's pulsing was weaker now. Emma's lips upon her own were wet and sloppy but the hand that had woven its way into her hair was strong and certain. The angle wasn't perfect, and not being able to touch Emma properly was frustrating. Not as frustrating as feeling Emma pull away completely. _

"_What are you doing?" Regina asked almost gasping for air as Emma took the small glass tumbler from Regina's hand and setting onto the small table next to them. Without saying word Emma pulled out her Ipod from her pocket and Regina could hear the small device clicking as its owner scrolled through the possibly songs. Picking one it seemed, Emma clicked play and a tune with a strong beat rang out in the small room. The device was thrown onto the other sofa though the music played on. _

"_Giving you, your own Christmas dance. Just for you…" Emma said practically purring and Regina felt her skin flush at the idea and her breath catch. As her jacket was shrugged off however Emma said almost devilishly slowly, "Your punishment for not sharing your whiskey however…No touching allowed"._

* * *

"_I forgot okay!" Emma shouted at her with almost pure venom. They had already been arguing for ten minutes now. _

_Emma had missed it. She was hours late. Three to be exact. Regina had had to cheer and be the proud parent alone as Henry had become second in his spelling bee. Emma had promised to come home and quiz their teen son and sit in the front row with her; cheering him on. She hadn't shown. Regina could tell Henry had been distraught over his birth mother's absence. Regina had explained Emma's increased work load and he had seem to understand but she could still see the disappointment in the young boy's eyes as he'd eaten his dinner. Regina had had to give Henry his meal she on the other hand kept her own back. She when possible these days eat with Emma. It was something she could share with the other woman if nothing else. _

_Emma hadn't been there. She could have understood if she'd been called away while the competition had been happening. She wouldn't have liked it but she would have understood; except Emma hadn't even made an effort to turn up! She'd forgotten! _

"_You forgot?" was Regina incredulous reply. _

_Emma couldn't have simply forgotten. Regina had reminded her that very morning and Emma had reassured she would be there and she wasn't._

"_You forgot your son's Spelling Bee?" Regina asked dubiously her body fuelled by anger. _

"_Yes… No…" Emma's response was muffled and confused. Which was it? Did she forget or not?_

"_Your mother … has to realise she can't just keep you back at work. She…" Regina explained feeling the annoyance and dislike only created by Snow. _

"_Can we not talk about her? God please" Emma said in an almost dismissive tone with a gesture of her hand. Regina however knew when Emma was trying to avoid something. It was something she often did when talking about Snow. Regina understood but this had to stop. Emma had to learn when to say no._

"_She asks you to jump and you ask how high?" Regina shot back and saw Emma flinch. _

"_I do not … I'm sorry I do my job!" the blonde's tone was filled with disgust at the idea. _

"_You always pick her over our family!" she shouted incredulously. _

_Emma recoiled. She actually looked shocked at Regina's suggestion. Emma was starting to spend more time at work…yes this was the first time she hadn't shown up for something like this and if it was just an honest mistake then she could understand. Henry was devastated but in time and probably a fair bit of spoiling on Emma's part he would understand. But Emma had started to side with her mother over Regina. It was never anything big and she wasn't even sure Emma was aware of it. _

"_I do not!" Emma shouted back at her and for the first time since the blonde had come home did Regina see some remorse in the woman's face. "I forgot I'm sorry but this isn't about her. Yes I had paperwork to do, I just lost track of time. I wanted to be there. Of course I did, you know that."_

"… _do __**we**__?" the brunette almost hissed in disbelief. _

"_Yes! I can't… I don't know. I didn't mean to miss it. I didn't. I wanted to be there …" Emma sobbed. Regina watched as Emma crumbled right in front of her eyes. Watched as her legs gave way and she fell into her dinning chair; clutching her head._

* * *

_Emma was out on patrol again. She'd left straight after dinner. The blonde hadn't said when she'd be back but she had surprised Regina with a kiss goodbye. Their time together was becoming less and less this last week. Emma's headaches had been getting worse too. So Regina worried. Emma was doing patrols more and more; this was the third this week. She could ask Ruby but she wouldn't. Things hadn't been right for the last few weeks. Thankfully things had calmed down since Henry's missed Spelling Bee but things were still taut between the two lovers. _

_Regina couldn't sleep. She never could when Emma wasn't there. She'd become reliant on Emma's presence. She used Emma's steady breathing as a lullaby. The bed span too far on Emma's side when she didn't fill it. It felt empty and cold. She couldn't sleep and her thoughts were driving her wild. _

_She wanted things to go back. What had gone so wrong? Less than a month ago they were great. They rarely fought about anything which for them was high praise indeed. She wanted them back. She wanted Emma back, not this hormonal time bomb she was living with. There were moments when she could pretend everything was okay; moments when she would look at Emma and all she'd see was their future. The future Emma had promised her and she wanted it more than anything. _

_Then a migraine would hit and Emma would change. Regina could never identify which Emma the blonde would be. The Emma that would scream at her over nothing, the Emma that would cry at something Regina would say and beg forgiveness or the loving Emma. Even the latter was an exaggerated form of the usual Sheriff. She just wanted her Emma back!_

_She heard the front door open. Emma was home. The alarm clock said it was little after midnight. She was earlier than she had been the previous nights. She listened as she heard Emma's movements about the house. Heard the stairs creak with the other woman's ascent. _

_She heard their door creek and could feel Emma's eyes upon her trying to gauge if she was asleep yet. Did Emma never listen to her? She'd told her countless times over the last year and half she could no longer sleep alone. It was co-dependant and needy but Regina found she did not really care. _

_She could hear Emma move around the room probably removing her clothes; a notion confirmed by the clatter of Emma's belt hitting the floor. Regina couldn't help but roll her eyes … the grace of an elephant. The brunette felt the side of the bed shift and in seconds Emma's body encased her own. She felt warm…very warm in fact. It always felt right in Emma's arms. Like nothing else mattered and all was right in the world. Except it wasn't._

* * *

"_Emma is throwing up" Henry said in a way of a morning greeting. _

"_What? Is she okay?" Regina asked feeling her stomach churn with worry. Third morning this week Emma had thrown up though this was the first time on an empty stomach._

"_I dunno. I was just brushing my teeth and she came barging in and started being sick" Henry explained with a look of disgust on his face. Regina resisted the urge to remind him that both his mothers had dealt with him vomiting before… on more than one occasion on them!_

_The fact Emma had ran into the bathroom their son was using rather than their ensuite told Regina immediately how bad the urge to be sick must have been. Regina pulled the cereal down before pouring an undetermined amount into the bowl she had already prepared. _

"_Put your milk on your cereal" Regina told the boy passing him the bowl. _

"_Yeah" Henry replied and Regina couldn't help but smile as its change in pitch. Her boy was growing up. _

_She rushed to check on her lover, though could hear Emma's retching from the bottom of the stairs. It hurt her to hear Emma; it only increased her mounting worry. She was working herself too hard. Pushing herself too hard, too far and too fast. _

_Opening the door she realised Emma was sobbing over the toilet and it took Regina moment to even be able to speak. This wasn't the way Emma was going to get her mother's attention, nor affection. She certainly wasn't going to get it by throwing up her internal organs. _

"_You okay?" Regina asked instantly regretting her extremely stupid question. Emma was clearly not okay. The blonde's body shook with the force of the sobs and Regina wouldn't have been surprised if it was with exhaustion too. Emma's only response was a shake of her head. It was more of twitch than a shake but the message was clear. _

"_Do you want me to call Snow? Tell her you won't be going in" Regain asked softly fully aware Emma's headache would be pounding right now. _

_At first Emma's shake of her head was the only response; a few seconds passed before the vomiting woman spoke. "I can't … got a meeting. I'll be fine once everything stops spinning" the blonde explained sounding so pitiful it made Regina's inside ache in sympathy. It was a tone she'd heard every time Henry had been ill. _

_The brunette took a deep breath. She wasn't going to force Emma to do anything. She couldn't even if she did want to. Emma was stubborn and hard headed; traits she had gotten from her parents. Today, right now she wouldn't push. "I don't think that's a good idea but okay. Promise me if you don't feel better by lunch time you'll come home" Regina pleaded and was pleasantly surprised to see Emma nod. She had expected more of a fight. _

"_Do you think you've stopped?" Regina asked. She meant the blonde's heaving but she already noticed Emma was no longer crying. The Sheriff made an odd groaning sound which while it most certainly wasn't a word it's intent was clear. Emma was nowhere near finished. _

"_Okay", Regina soothed. The brunette stepped across Emma's mess of limbs on the bathroom floor coming to sit next to ill blonde. She took a moment to take in Emma's appearance. Her skin was pale and clammy, and she could see the dark bags under those gorgeous eyes. She hated seeing Emma like this. She brushed the blonde hair out the way which thankfully hadn't caught any of Emma's vomit. "Then we'll sit here until you have" Regina whispered, feeling Emma sag into Regina's front._

* * *

_The house was empty and cold. It hadn't felt this empty in over a year and half. Before she'd started a relationship with Emma. The house was too big; how had she not noticed that before. She could hear every noise. Her heels echoed and the sound of it no longer made her smile. She knew Emma wasn't here. Her bug wasn't parked outside; but she needed to check. Just in case. _

_Her brain couldn't register what had happened. What was happening right now? How had they gotten so far from where they had started? Where was the couple that declaring their love for each other under a freezing cold December moon? Or the ones who had practically fallen over the front step after drinking too much at a family Christmas dinner? Emma had made confessions she had thought of a future for them. She believed Regina was it for her; Regina knew without hesitation Emma was her true love. Had that only been three months ago?_

_Regina's heels clattered harshly as she ran upstairs, clinging to the bannister to keep her upright as if it was her lifeline. The brunette knew what she would see before she entered their bedroom. Her bedroom she supposed it was now. Her heart missed a beat as the state of the room came into view. The wardrobe clearly just been emptied, its doors still ajar. Some of the drawers, Emma's drawers under the vanity had been disturbed the bottom one not completely closed. A few of Regina's clothes lay dishevelled on the bed. _

_Turning she saw their ensuite was open; Regina certainly hadn't left it as such. She approached the open door with caution almost fearing she might catch Emma in the act of leaving. Except the blonde wasn't there and neither were her toiletries. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she could hear her own pulse booming in her ears as she finally realised; Emma wasn't here. She was gone._

* * *

_A shrill noise pulled Regina out of her countless number of Emma filled dream that week. Letting out a deep groan Regina turned her head to see the clock next to her bed. It read 3.15…in the morning. It had taken her hours to get to sleep and someone was waking her up. She let out an annoyed noise which could only be described as a growl. It took her a moment to remember Henry was at his grandparents, and then fear and dread hit her square in the stomach. Something was wrong. _

_She moved with the speed only a worried mother could. Grabbing her phone however the feeling of dread dissipated instantly replaced by surprise and anxiety. Emma's name was flashing back at her. It took her a moment to remember her caller would ring off if she didn't answer the harsh buzzing device. _

"_Emma…" Regina said softly almost afraid she might scare the other woman away. Her voice however was still hoarse with sleep. Adrenaline was blasting through her body. She felt high and excited._

_A strange rustling was her only response. "Emma?" Regina asked her voice more forceful this time. She had to speak to her. A week without the blonde was enough. A night without Emma had been enough. She wanted her here. She could be here next to her in their bed, in their home!_

_A new different noise reached Regina's ear through the cell clutched in her hand. A noise she couldn't name. Had the former Sheriff meant to ring her? Was it an accident? A mistake? "Emma!" Regina repeated now shouting into her phone. _

_Nothing. For a moment there was no sound. None Regina could decipher anyway. Then there was that rustle again but louder this time. "Emma … its Regina. Can you hear me?" the lone woman said trying to sound as calm as she could but her insides were churning. Emma was just there. She wanted more than anything to be able to reach inside her phone and grab the other woman but even her magic had its limits. _

_The odd noise sounded again. Regina thought it might have been accompanied by… beeping maybe? What was going on? Why wasn't Emma talking? And why was she calling after three am in the morning? Had it been instinct? If a job was taking up Emma's time she might have just rang on impulse. It was rare that Emma rang when she out on a patrol as Sheriff but not unheard of. Those times however had been when they were happy and Emma just needed to hear Regina's voice and apologise for not being at home with her. _

"_Emma talk to me" Regina pleaded thickly. She heard the rustling again. Then nothing. No noise. Nothing. Looking down at her cell she saw her usual background of Emma, Henry and herself smiling up at her. The call had been cut off. Did Emma have bad reception is that why Regina could hear odd noises but couldn't hear the blonde's voice? If that was the case would she ring back? She would ring back wouldn't she if it was simply a bad signal._

_She would wait. Emma was going to ring back. Minutes passed and hit Regina not to worry. Emma would call back but she needed to get to a place with better reception. Wherever she was at 3am wasn't good enough. She'd ring. _

_Sore tired eyes finally slid closed for the last time shortly after four. Emma hadn't rang back. She wouldn't ring back._

* * *

_Three weeks of phone calls and begging. Of shouting, name calling and threats. Regina had tried everything she could think of to get Emma to come home. All had gone to voicemail. It had been two weeks since the mysterious late night, or early morning phone call. Regina hadn't heard of anything since. Henry on the other hand had delivered the fatal blow to her current state of emotions. Snow had received a call from Emma when he was there yesterday. As far as Henry knew it had been the first call Emma had given to her mother. _

_Why Emma had rang her and not Regina she didn't know. She was angry. She had been angry, depressed and desperate to name a few feeling she'd felt in the last few weeks. Those emotions had nothing on the seething anger that coursed through her veins now. She felt like screaming and breaking something. She could so easily break the glass in her hand. Just crush it. _

_Henry was out at a friend's. She had no responsibilities. So she was drinking. She'd been holding on to too much, for too long and she'd finally snapped. She was strong for Henry._

_She'd cried herself to sleep each night surrounded by the absent blonde. She could smell her still in the room. Emma had left her perfume. Regina had spent the last few weeks uncovering items Emma had left behind in her haste to leave. Leave her. Leave their family. Without looking back._

_She wasn't going to do this anymore, was not going to be this anymore and the alcohol in her system was spurring her on. She angrily pressed her cell's buttons to call her former partner. She nearly dropped the phone in surprise when she heard it ring; unlike the last few weeks when it had gone straight to Emma's voicemail. She allowed herself the rush of excitement, followed by disappointment as the phone rang on, and connected to voicemail. Clearly Emma had not turned her phone off as she had been doing since she left. _

_As soon as Emma's cheery voicemail message finished Regina gripped her phone that little bit tighter before she spoke. "You walked away. You lied. You gave up. The woman I love…d would never have given up" Regina spat down the device feeling her whole body tingle with anger. The heart within her chest was beating at a dangerous rate. The surge of emotion and the alcohol buzzing through her body was making her feel lightheaded. She didn't like it. _

"_You didn't even think I deserved a real good bye. You betrayed us Emma! We haven't heard from you. You could be dead in a ditch for all we know" the brunette shouted as if Emma was just across the room. Much like every room in this house Emma's presence lingered. If Regina closed her eyes she would feel the woman around her. She could be just across the room. Except she wasn't. She'd walked away!_

"_At this point I don't even care" she said and Regina heard her voice heighten and felt her throat tighten. Of course she cared. God she cared. She had to stop this. She had been queen. The Evil Queen at that. She would not be beaten like a teenage girl in love. Not for Emma Swan. Not for someone who clearly didn't give a damn about her or their son!_

"_I deserve more than this. Henry deserves more than this! And I will give him it. Life does not always hand you the best circumstances in this and any other world. I know that better than most. You should have trusted me to help you but instead you chose to abandon your family. We could have helped you through it", Regina's voice now carried every drop of seething angry her body possessed. She heard the small device in her hand groan at the pressure her almost balled fist was forcing upon it. _

"_Now it's too late. You were right Miss Swan; there is nothing left for you here. Don't even think about coming back", Regina hissed jabbing at the end call button with her thumb. It took her a moment to consider what she'd just done. All she could hear was her unsteady breathing and the ticking of the study clock. Anger, fury and pain rushed at her nearly knocking her off her feet. _

_The glass tumbler which had been clutched in her hand showered her in glass and cider as it shattered against the nearest wall and a blood curling scream ring out._

* * *

"_And then she ran after him. Why do they always do that? She thought she lost him but she saw movement down this alley and it was him and then Emma…" Henry explained lost in yet another story his grandmother had relayed to him from his birthmother. It was always like this after Henry returned from an evening at his grandparents'. Just when Regina thought her hurt and anger was subsiding Henry would mention the absent woman and it would hit Regina square in the gut how not okay she really was._

"_Henry!" Regina reprimanded at the sound of the former Sheriff's name. She saw him jump in fright, which was followed by the look. The look which he'd only ever given her when he'd thought of her as just the evil queen. She hated it. He, even if it was just for the split second, was afraid of her. _

_She took a breath to stead her emotions. She leant across the table to take his hand and was thankful when he did not pull it away. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have shouted like that. Could you please talk about something other than Miss Swan?" Regina asked. _

_She saw his eyes shift. She saw sadness and annoyance reflected back at her. She'd tried to shield him from the truth. She had let him have his stories; his lies. She'd protected him from the truth. Emma wasn't coming back for them. For almost three months now this had been a common occurrence. Henry would return from Snow and Charming and Regina would have to endure multiple stories of Emma's adventures in Boston. Some didn't sound plausible, most she hoped for Emma's safety weren't. She loved Emma. She always would; and part of her hated herself for it. True love was a not only a blessing but a burden…a curse. _

_He stood, plate in hand not even looking at her now. He put his plate beside the sink to go in the disk washer before leaving; and much like his birth mother, he never looked back. She could hear him going off upstairs. Stomping each step. Maybe Emma was right the night before she left. Maybe they were living in the past. Because much like three years ago hearing Henry talk of Emma had caused her pain, and now hearing that woman's name caused her pain of a different sort. She sighed deeply, more deeply than she could ever remember doing before._

* * *

_Anger and rage pulsed through her like the darkest of magic. She could taste it. She would have been able to smell it if it weren't for the now smashed bottle of Emma's perfume penetrating the room. She had accidently knocked the bottle off her vanity and watched in slow motion as the small bottle had fallen before smashing on the floor. _

_Her first instinct was panic. That was her last tangible thing of Emma's. A luxury she could revel in, in peace. Her dirty little secret. Nothing Regina owned smelt of Emma anymore. That smell that had always calmed her when everything was getting too much. This small bottle was all she had left. As she'd bent down trying to do something…anything with the broken fragments one had cut her. _

_Seeing the crimson droplet form on her thumb companied with the intoxicating smell of the perfume made her feel sick. The anger had followed. She did not need Emma. She did not need that other woman. Not in her life. Not in Henry's. They were fine before she came to Storybrooke!_

_It was rage that fuelled Regina as threw Emma's leftover possessions in a box. Aggression. Anger. Hurt. Betrayal. Foolishness. Weak. All the emotions she had felt for the last three months vibrated through her body. She had been naive. Naïve enough to believe Emma when she'd said she loved her. When she had promised her a future. She had been foolish to believe anything that came out of that damn woman's mouth. _

_If she was so angry with the blonde why did it hurt so much? Why did she feel so betrayed? Regina had clung to their last night together. That had to have meant something. You couldn't hold someone, love them, cherish them god even look at them in such a way and it mean nothing. Their whole relationship had not been a lie. It couldn't have been._

_Regina's hand made a grab for other of Emma's belongings she'd been hoarding. It was to join the multiple articles of clothing left behind which Regina would never admit she'd worn on the longest of the loneliest nights. It was a photograph. Looking back at her was Emma, Henry and herself. It had been taken not long after they'd gotten together. She couldn't even remember if it was before or after the town had found about them. The trio in the photo were so happy. So free. Nothing else mattered but them. Their family unit. What had changed? Where had things gone so terribly wrong? _

_Regina noticed the droplets of water fall on the glass protecting their fragment in time. Their happy moment, almost long forgotten. She saw the tears before she realised she was crying. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat that was trying to suffocate her. It took only a few seconds before the silent tears changed to heart wrenching sobs as she clutched the photo tightly to her chest; afraid they'd lost their moment._

* * *

A loud bang pulled Regina from her memories. She was in her study, clutching an empty glass tumbler. Though she had no memory of coming in here. She could taste the cider in her mouth and knew she must have drunk some. Another series of bangs echoed through the house. Someone was at the door and Regina really wasn't in the mood for company. She was sonless for the evening and she wanted to have a few drinks and go to bed much as she had done every night Henry slept out; for the last three and bit months. She was in no mood to entertain at nearly ten o'clock at night, according to the large clock on the wall.

She winced when the glass in her hand was put down a little too forcefully. She could feel the buzz of the cider in her system but she was still sober. As she walked to the front door another few loud bangs were placed upon it. Clearly someone wanted to talk to her. Pulling the door open with what she hoped was her most annoyed looking facial expression; she froze. Standing on her porch…in her doorway was Emma Swan.


	6. Chapter 5

**Title: **Last Thing You'll Do

**Author**: Calliope-plantain

**Rating:** M

**Pairing:**Regina/Emma

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Once. All characters in this story sadly do not belong to me; they're simply being borrowed for a little while, and then will be returned. This story was not written for profit and no copyright infringements are intended.

**Storyline:** Regina could say her life was perfect… and then it got turned upside down.

**Author's Note:**This chapter … It's the one I've been working towards, and it's emotionally drained me.

**Beta: **Scarlet-Marauder awesomely encouraged me to write this, and then was my beta. So any mistakes she's missed and any feelings of distress are her fault ;)

"_The next heart you crush will be mine" – 45-Spacer._

Emma. Regina felt her stomach drop though her heart felt as if it had risen to reside in her mouth. Emma was standing in her door way. Emma was standing in a ridiculous navy blue woollen hat that should never have been seen in public but most certainly shouldn't be worn in July! Her ensemble was completed by a thick black coat Regina hadn't seen before and the brunette was pretty sure the large coat was about to consume the blonde whole. The other woman's attire was not one suitable for Storybrooke in the middle of summer.

"Hi" Emma breathed.

After months of not seeing the blonde, she was standing in front of her; looking oddly dazed herself. Emma was here. How was she here? Regina could literally reach out and touch her. She felt her palm tingle with anticipation of doing just that; except her body wouldn't move. Her brain wasn't working properly. The woman she loved was standing just there. Looking at her with the same admiration as Regina felt. The woman, who had promised her the world and then some, was standing right in front of her. The woman who had kicked her to the gutter was standing inches away from her.

Anger. Betrayal. The two most dominate emotions she'd felt for the last three months surged within her. Feelings she should be used to by now, her life was full of both. She'd just been naïve enough to believe Emma wouldn't cause her further heartache. Her reluctance in starting a relationship with the other woman had not come out of fear of her own pain but the possibility of the suffering she might inflict on the blonde in front of her. How very naïve she had been.

Her brain didn't register the move. It was instinct. The first she was even aware of it was when the door collided with Emma's foot. Regina had tried to slam the door, a move that Emma had seen coming and had counteracted by jamming her own foot in the way.

Emma had always known her better than she believed anyone would. It was a blessing most of the time but right now it was curse. She shoved the door as hard as she could against the intruding foot but it didn't close. Regina did however hear Emma's groan of pain. "Regina just listen to me", Emma demand pleadingly and Regina could feel the blonde's attempt to push the door open. Emma's voice was proof she was really there. Regina did not want her here and yet she can feel her whole body was on fire both to consume the former Sheriff in love and hatred. To cause a pain like she'd inflicted upon her.

Regina's body shook with the excursion of trying to keep the door closed and willing herself not to let the woman on the other side in. Into her home, and back into her heart. A place she'd never left. "You are no longer welcome nor wanted here Miss Swan" Regina lied through gritted teeth as anger and shock battled from within. Instead of verbal response all she heard was Emma's grunt as the door shook once again.

She did not want Emma here. Emma had left. Regina had spent over three months trying to hate the other woman, something which she couldn't do. As much as she had tried to fight the love she felt for Emma in the beginning and failed; her desire to make it so much easier for herself and hate the woman who'd left her was just as impossible. Anger. Blame. Hurt and betrayal, those she could feel. But hatred was something she could not feel no matter how hard she tried.

"Regina please just let me in and talk to me…and stop trying to break my foot!" Emma said her voice carrying more authority than when she'd last spoken. Their almost silent game of reverse tug of war with the door continued for only a few more moments before Regina moved away completely from the door. She did not need to look to know that Emma came crashing into the hallway nor to know the door was nearly being ripped from its hinges.

"I will not have you causing a disturbance on my porch Miss Swan. The town does not need more idle gossip" Regina spoken evenly as if giving a mayoral speech, though her heart was racing so fast it made her feel faint. The cider in her system was not helping her, and she could tell it would not be her friend this evening. She could not look at the other woman. She wouldn't look at the other woman.

She felt her anxiety rise as she heard the front door close behind her. Irrational anxiety perhaps but she did not like the feeling of being enclosed with Emma. Her anger seemed to pulse through her veins and even through the haze of her emotions she felt fear. Fear of what she might do the other woman. Both fear of hurting her, and fear of succumbing to the natural pull Emma had upon her.

Emma did not speak. Regina could feel her presence behind her. Could almost taste it in the air. Silence followed the metallic click of the lock upon the door being turned. Nothing. It felt almost as if the last five minutes hadn't happened. It felt as if Regina was once again alone with her thoughts and memories, in this empty old house. "Come to pick up the last of your belongings?" Regina addressed the base of the stairs, her tone hazardously still. She would not give Emma the satisfaction of knowing the pain and joy she felt at having her home. Except this was no longer her home.

"No. I came because we need…" Emma said and Regina had to fight the instinct to flinch at the volume of it. Emma was right behind her.

"Henry isn't here" Regina said cutting across the other woman trying to remain calm though even she heard the slight unsettled tone to her voice. She hoped Emma didn't hear it. Turning to see her former lover for the first time since she'd opened the door she felt an ambivalence she could not explain. Annoyance and fury that the woman was here in her hallway, taking off her outer garments; making herself at home in a place she no longer had any rights to. Happiness and gratefulness that she was here…in her hallway, making herself at home in place she should have never have left.

She wasn't meant to be thankful to see the woman before her. She wasn't meant to be watching her remove her coat and imagining taking the traitorous woman in her arms. But her prohibited thoughts were interrupted as the coat slid off Emma's shoulders and she momentarily surprised to see the body beneath the garment. Regina supposed the lack of Granny's bear claws and the "exciting" daily physical exertions of being a bail bondswoman would result in Emma's slight frame. Even her face looked faintly gaunt.

"I know. I saw him at Mom's" Emma said as she removed that ghastly and completely pointless woollen hat. Regina's second surprised came in the form of Emma's short hair as it was released from its unnecessary prison. It was a longer than the style Snow had come to favour, closer perhaps in the length Regina herself had donned in recent years. The resemblance between mother and daughter however was astounding. Regina had heard people sometimes had a complete makeover when a relationship ended but she certainly hadn't expected Emma to change her appearance so drastically. In just three months. Her Emma really wasn't standing in her hallway.

"Snow of course. You didn't come here first. You saw your son by chance" Regina spat and saw Emma jump slightly though to her credit never broke eye contact. Emma rarely did back down from a fight. It had only been in the last month of their relationship Regina had seen Emma at times become completely submissive in arguments. Arguments she, Emma had started. It was almost as if she believed deserved it. Three months of reflection had done as much harm to Regina as it had good. What she would do with the knowledge gained…

"Even three months away and you still pick her over us" Regina continued with as much venom as she could. Screw not showing Emma the damage she'd done. She would show her it. She was make her feel it. Feel it right down to the core of her being. Feel it so deep she'd feel like she was suffocating and she might even come close to feeling as Regina had been feeling since the blonde had walked out of her life.

"Are you sure you should be here Emma, did mommy give you permission?" she spat mockingly and she watched as Emma shifted. She watched as the other woman seemed to almost move into defence mode. Regina wanted to fight. She wanted Emma to fight back. She did not want the woman to give up so easily. She wanted her to fight.

"For god's sake Regina" Emma barked back. Any other time egina would been have fighting a laugh at the familiar way Emma's fingers ran through her hair in annoyance and disbelief at something Regina was saying. Except it wasn't funny. Her Emma, the Emma who wrote stupid love post it notes and dragged her down frozen beaches in the middle of December was not the one standing in front of her. Her Emma, who had talked of children and their future in whatever form it held, was not the one that walked out of the Sherriff office that day. She was not the woman standing in front of her; it seemed that woman was lost forever.

"I knew Henry would be there, Mom told me. I wasn't picking anything or anyone over anyone else. I never did", Emma said loudly though the tone was not of anger but of desperation. Again green eyes never left her. They watched as Regina's hands balled at her side. They watched though could not understand the emotions surging beneath Regina's skin. Emotions Regina herself could not explain. She wanted to believe Emma. She wanted to, so badly.

She could easily throw this woman out of her home. Whether it was physically or magically, she could do it. Part of her wanted to. Most of her wanted to. But there was that part. That part that had begged Emma to stay. That part that had allowed her to cry herself to sleep, clutching her lover's pillow as she fell into dreams about what would never come true. A part of her that wanted to hear it all. Hear the excuses…the apologises. The pleas of forgiveness. Would any of it come?

She needed another drink. She gave no command for the blonde to stay or follow as she turned and walked to her study. The sound of footfalls behind her told her Emma was at least following her this far. She was glad for a moment that she'd just vacated this room; it was still lit meaning she did not need to turn on the light. Light was very much needed after ten o'clock at night.

"Do you want one?" Regina shot over her shoulder as she made her way over to the previously discarded glass and decanter. It was of a courteous gesture rather than a desire for Emma to drink her cider.

"No I'm good thanks" was Emma's reply. Her asking was merely a gesture of good will and Emma's refusal of a drink with her did not harm or hurt her in anyway. Except it did. Emma never declined. Not even on her first night in Storybrooke. Not even when they were in a full blown row Regina would offer Emma a drink and she would accept and things would either get on better or worse; usually the former with added alcohol.

She heard the couch squeak as Emma sat down; Regina busied herself with her glass of cider. If Emma didn't want one then it was of no ill consequence to her.

"I'm sorry…for hurting you" Emma said so softly if the room had not been so deathly silent the brunette might not have even heard it. Tears filled her blurring her vision. She was sorry. Emma meant it; Regina could hear it in her voice. She felt her breathe catch in her chest. Turning she allowed for the first time since Emma had turned up at her door her emotions show. Anger was still present, but it wasn't the only emotion. Sadness and happiness too. Even she knew that those emotions meant she cared and she saw Emma's face see that recognition too. She had never stopped caring.

"Are you sorry you left?" Regina asked glass now in hand. She needed that reassurance. She needed to hear Emma say the words, but her heart was beating so hard she doubted she would hear the other woman's answer over the drumming in her own ears.

But it wasn't loud enough and part of her wished it was. "I had reasons why I left Regina. I don't regret leaving no, I do wish that I didn't have to", was Emma's sincere answer.

Anger and frustration overcame the former Queen. Frustration which only ever came when trying to talk to this woman. Clearly Emma's time away had not made the woman see sense. Regina had at least hoped that if Emma ever did come back she would have learnt something and that the time apart would have been worth it. All the evidence however seemed to contradict that assumption.

Regina briefly considered putting her front up. Followed by the idea of allowing her anger to fuel the situation but she wouldn't be surprised if Emma ended up being thrown through the wall behind the couch she was seating on. She would not beg. She would not beg for answers and she would not beg this woman to stay in her life. If Emma did not want to be in it, then that was her decision.

She would however let Emma know the pain, and hurt she's left behind in her wake. That was the one vulnerability she would allow herself. Emma had already seen the tears…perhaps she already knew. But Regina did want… no need answers. She deserved that. Maybe that was why Emma was sitting in the house she used to live in. She finally believed Regina deserved her answers … even if it was the real goodbye she had never received.

"As I recall telling you, you did not need to leave. You chose to leave of your own accord", Regina said her voice still, which was more than could be said for the liquid in her glass as her hands shook. As hard as she tried she could not pull a deep breath in. Her chest would hurt less if only she could breathe. Her chest…her heart would hurt less if only she could make Emma understand. It was not up to her to make her understand, and yet all she wanted to do is shake the woman and make her see.

"Yes I did" Emma replied, sitting forward as her own hands came to rest upon her lap. Regina allowed her eyes to close; she could not look at her. She wanted to throttle her at the moment, or just shake her. Hard. Eyes still closed Regina brought the glass up to her lips and drained the cider from within. She felt the slight tingle as she gulped it down. It was not meant to be knocked back, it was to be sipped and tonight she did not give a damn. She span around and put the glass down forcefully on the small table; and resisted the urge to have another.

Eyes opened now she could feel the unshed tears burning them. She could feel the bile in her stomach starting to rise. She was not weak. She would not be weakened by this woman. If Emma was not remorseful for her actions then Regina had little time for her. Except she wanted to have the time. She wanted Emma…to want her.

"I trusted you" Regina said her voice shaking. Even to her ears she heard the undertone of hurt and disgust. Disgust at Emma. Disgust at herself for having such a weakness. "Henry trusted you and you just left. You abandoned us" the former mayor continued her voice now laced with disbelieving resentment. Her knuckles were turning white with the force in which she held onto the small wooden table. She held on for stability. For strength.

She took a deep breath before turning around once again making sure that the now plastered mayoral smile was fixed upon her face. The faux smile almost slipped off completely at look of defeat upon the blonde's face. Emma had hurt in her ways she had never dreamed she would. She had given her the power to hurt her, and trusted her not to…and she had. She had betrayed what they had, and treated it as if it was nothing. Emma clearly did not care for the damaged she had caused. So Regina went in for the kill. "Better than anyone I would have thought you know how that feels" the former Queen said her voice laced with revulsion.

She watched as Emma's eyes flashed just for a moment. She saw hurt and surprise. It was there just for a moment before it was gone; then a blank stare took it place. Regina wanted to hit her. Wanted to scream at her. She wanted a fight. She wanted Emma to do something, say something that would prove her right. Hopefully, prove her wrong.

"I did what I had to", Emma said her voice thick, the only evidence of the hurt within.

"You were coward" Regina spat, feeling an odd sense of glee in sound of Emma's voice. The feeling only increased when the emotions reached the jade eyes; and it spurred her on as she ignored the spark of guilt. "Why I was so surprised, I don't know. You never stay…" she continued her voice rising with each word.

"You have no idea what I've gone through" Emma shouted across her, the first sign of fight in the other woman since she tried to open the door against Regina's will. A fight was what Regina would revel in.

"Whose fault is that?" Regina exclaimed in disbelief. Of course she didn't know. She had no god damn idea what Emma had been going through because her partner had tossed her aside like she was yesterday's trash. "I told you…you had me. I was right here…YOU choose to leave. Not me." she barked spitefully. She was not going to take the blame for this. Regina may have had a hand in Emma leaving, god she could be the reason she left, but she would not be held responsible for her leaving. Emma was an adult and had made her own decisions. "I never thought you would become Neal" Regina quipped sickeningly without thought.

"I am not Neal" Emma said through gritted teeth; though Regina could see it wasn't in anger but to stop the tears from falling.

"Leaving me to look after your child completely on my own … sounds like exactly like him" Regina replied sardonically.

Her eyes. They showed the pain. It was more than she had expected to see. The pain Regina had wanted to inflict. The same pain that measured equal to her own. It didn't feel as good as she believed it would. The hurt in her former lovers' eyes just made her feel guilty and ashamed.

Emma stood with a sob before storming out of the room. Regina had known the blonde wouldn't fight for long, but she certainly didn't expect her to give up so early. She waited for the front door to slam, except it never came. The next noise came from the other side of the house. From the kitchen.

Regina took a shaking breath before she followed the noises she could hear. By the running water she guessed Emma was making herself a drink. An assumption which was confirmed when Emma came into sight. Upon the countertop was Emma's cup. The only thing it seemed which had evaded Regina's evacuation of Emma's belongings. Well their removal to the garage. She'd seen that green mug every day for almost two years and it had never occurred to her to throw it out when Emma left. It had become part of her morning routine. Part of her everyday life, much as Emma should still be.

She saw Emma freeze for a moment before Henry's orange juice was added to the forgotten mug. Regina wondered for a moment if she should apologise for her harsh words. She hadn't meant them. Actually she did. What Emma had done to her was no better than what Neal had done to her except Emma was here. She was being overly cryptic and painfully blind to everything around her, but she was here.

She watched silently as Emma popped two small yellow tablets onto the counter, and then with practiced skill picked both up pushed them to the back of her throat before washing them down with the juice. Only a trace of disgust at the taste of the tablets graced Emma's face. A feat all in itself as Regina had witnessed both Emma and their son trying … and failing to take medication in the past.

She watched as Emma hung her head slightly as the cup was placed back down. The former sheriff's hand rose to thread its finger through Emma's now shortened tresses and stopped with a slight massage to the back of Emma's own neck. Even Regina couldn't ignore the small flinch the other woman gave at the movement.

"I see your vacation did nothing for your headaches" Regina snipped ensuring any concern or guilt she felt for the other woman was not in her tone.

Emma rolled her head slightly to the left then the right, her hand still clamped to the back of her neck. It was unusual to see Emma's hair so short, and watch it bounce slightly with every movement on its owners head. Her hair looked darker too, though it may have been the brightness of the kitchen.

"No" Emma replied her tone was crisp but even. It did nothing to ease Regina guilt; though she felt her annoyance rise once again. "They're nothing on those. They were like the warm up. It wasn't a vacation, Regina" Emma all but reprimanded her. No it wasn't a vacation it was her "find herself" time, Regina thought angrily. Regina was a mother, much like Emma was meant to have been for the last three months. Regina couldn't just go wandering off when life got too hard. She has responsibilities. She had her family to look after.

"Yes from what I hear from Henry your stress free time away, was anything but stress free" Regina quipped, causing Emma to finally look at her front on. Regina watched as those lines formed just above the younger woman's eyes, the ones that formed when she was thinking hard.

"You could say that again" Emma said softly with a slight laugh that held no humour. Regina stood looking at the woman who looked so different from the one she had known. Both had stood this very kitchen arguing and making up little over three months ago though they were polar opposite to each other now. It was now Regina stood in the doorway, and Emma leaning against the countertop. Yet Regina still didn't understand how they'd gotten so far from where they'd been.

She couldn't keep looking at the woman who simply looked backed at her as if she'd kicked her puppy. Regina had blamed herself enough over the last months. Blamed herself for not seeing the signs, for not fighting hard enough…for not being enough. She couldn't stand and hear Emma blame her too. And yet she craved it. So she broke eye contact. She walked to the door off to the side of the room. A small turn of the lock opened the door to the garage; and there by the door exactly where she had left it was Emma's forgotten things. A box filled with things it seemed Emma was in too much a rush to remember.

She bent down to pick up the box. She could feel Emma's eyes upon her, almost burning into her. Gazing down at the items the box contained she felt her chest constrict, as memories of each item's reveal around the house made an appearance at the forefront of her mind. Most of the items had been clothes, but each item in itself had had at least one memory attached to it. At least one happy memory which tore at Regina's soul to remember it, and yet Emma had left it all behind.

Calming her emotions and tone, Regina turned standing up right to look at the other woman again. She looked at Emma and saw her take in the box, before her eyes rose once again to meet her own gaze. Regina took a moment before asked pointedly "Miss Swan what exactly do you want?" Regina noted much to her displeasure Emma did not flinch at the name. In fact she seemed to have been expected it. Regina did not enjoy calling the blonde her title. It felt foreign in her mouth now, only using it to get a rise from Emma. Even that pleasure it seemed Emma had taken away from her. As the seconds ticked on under Emma's gaze, the box in her hands seemed to get slowly heavier. Much like the air around them as Emma fidgeted but did not break eye contact.

"I came home" Emma whispered, though she may have well have screamed for the force it knocked Regina back. Three little words and they nearly crippled her. Emma stepped forward towards her sorrow trapped within her eyes and once again the feeling of being trapped fell upon Regina. This time it provoked fury.

"Home!" Regina spat angrily and watched as Emma recoiled the inches she'd tried to gain over her. This was Regina and Henry's home. It had stopped being Emma's the day she walked out. The day she'd left it without ever planning to come back. She lost the right to lay claim on anything in this damn house, including her. "This is most certainly is not your home Miss Swan", Regina continued bitterly as she watched the blonde's stature shrink and for once she did not care. She could feel her hands shake as she gripped the box within them, feeling the cardboard flex against the pressure she was forcing upon it.

"You made that perfectly clear the day you left There is nothing left here for you anymore, remember" the former Queen hissed her tone laced with mockery. Regina remembered. She remembered every second of that day. Every word. The memory of each ticking second was burnt into her brain, and she was forced to relive it in her darkest, loneliness moments. She remembered, and it was torture. Torture she forced upon herself so she could understand. Understand what she had done, what she should have done. How she would have made it better, how she could have been better. Except she wasn't. She never had been. "You made it crystal clear you didn't give a damn about me" Regina snarled though her voice did not carry the authority it should have. The pain inside was crippling.

Her blood boiled, and she felt more anger than she could remember feeling in a long time. What was worse was the feeling of no control. She needed control. Her magic buzzed beneath her skin. It felt as if it was screaming. Screaming to rip the blonde in front of her to shreds; and for a moment it terrified her.

She thrust the box with all her might at the other woman who was just standing look at her open mouthed. She didn't even have the decency to lie. To say it wasn't true. She just stood and looked back at her with the same damn moronic look as her mother. The alcohol in her system hindered her aim but she still managed to hit her mark. Straight at Emma's chest. The flimsy box seemed to explode on impact showering the kitchen in Emma's belongings.

The t-shirt Regina had taken to sleeping in the first month of the blonde's absence however caught on one of Emma's shoulder. She watched as the shock of Regina words and actions caught up with the emerald eyes looking back at her. She saw the moment they darkened, and anger flared in them. Real anger. Anger that seemed to burn into her. Regina could see other emotions whirling around Emma's features, she could see the battle in Emma's face and wanted to scream.

"What the hell Regina?" Emma shouted. She ripped the hanging t-shirt from her shoulder and threw it back at Regina with so much force it took all her willpower not to jump. Not to show weakness. Emma stepped out of the debris of her former life. Stepped over it as if it was nothing. The blonde stepped towards her and Regina felt her hands ball at her side.

"You told me!" Emma all but screamed at her this time. The eyes looking at her no longer looked angry. That emotion had drifted on. They now shone with desperation.

"What?" Regina bite back. She crossed her arms so tightly it hurt. She would not be intimidated and she would not let this woman see her weakness. She had allowed herself to be foolish, and let this woman in. She couldn't…wouldn't do that again.

"You told me you would let me leave if I said I didn't love you", Emma said her voice now cracking with the emotions Regina would not let herself feel for her in return. Except with Emma it always the emotions she did not want to feel that pushed themselves to forefront. Emma had a way of banging down her defences whether Regina wanted her to or not. What did that mean? Did Emma still love her? Impossible. She wouldn't have left if she did.

"You weren't going to let me go otherwise", her former lover said thickly. Thinking back Regina realised Emma was right. She had said that. She had said that one thing she believed would make Emma stay. She hadn't realised she'd all but handed her the ammunition to destroy their life together. Emma had only said she didn't love Regina so she could leave. She'd said it knowing Regina would let her leave. That made no sense. Why had she wanted to leave?

"Why would you want to leave at all?" Regina asked hearing her own voice crack so similar to Emma's just moments before. None of this made any sense. It hadn't made sense at the time, and it made less sense now. She could understand if Emma no longer loved her. She hadn't wanted to believe it…she couldn't believe it, but if that was how Emma felt she wouldn't have gotten over it; but she would have survived. Yet here Emma was…saying it was all a lie.

"I told you, I didn't want to hurt you…keep hurting you", the blonde said staring her right in the eye. Ever the martyr… no the saviour. The familiar feeling of exasperation hit her full force. So hard she just wanted to cry and scream in frustration. She no longer had anything to throw at the blonde, though she desperately wanted to.

"So leaving was your obvious solution" Regina exclaimed in disbelief with a wave of her hand. She could hear her blood pounding in her ears; now she was getting a headache.

"Yes!" Emma yelled back her voice sounding hoarse.

She couldn't. She couldn't keep doing this. Talking to this woman no longer made sense. Emma no longer made sense. If what Emma was saying was true, she still loved Regina. Or she had when she'd left. She'd loved her and still walked away. She had stood, watched the woman she loved beg and plead for her to stay; and was still able to walk out of the building and drive away. She had done that.

"That's ludicrous" the brunette cried back. She searched the mess of emotions she could see upon Emma's face. Just searched; searched for answers she didn't know if Emma knew. She felt bewildered, and so lost. None of this was making sense. "You didn't want to stay and hurt me, so instead you broke my heart and left?" Regina asked slowly trying to gain some clarification. Maybe she had gotten it wrong; misinterpreted Emma's words.

"Yes", the other woman replied though her tone was much lower than it had been previously, though the force was still there. The force that was demanding that Regina understood. Emma's face…her eyes begged her to understand. How could she? How could she understand any of this? It was baffling and it hurt her brain. It hurt to even think, and Emma's puppy dog eyes weren't helping.

"I don't … I don't want to hear this" the brunette said softly with a shake of her head. It was too late to have this conundrum forced upon her, and she'd had too much to drink to even try and solve it. "Please just get out of my house" Regina said trying to keep her tone schooled as she pushed passed the other woman.

"No" Emma said with a tone of absolute defiance. Why had Regina let her in? That was the ultimate question.

She turned on her heel and saw once again the sad eyes looking back at her. The broken eyes of a damaged woman. A woman she would have given her life to save if only Emma had allowed it. "I said get out!" Regina shouted though she heard the hint of the tears she could feel burning behind her eyes in her voice.

"Not before you listen to me" Emma said boldly though her face told Regina she did not have the strength nor the conviction, her tone of voice suggested.

"You have _nothing_ worth saying that I want to hear" the former queen said harshly.

"Yes I do, and I can guarantee you want to hear because if you don't you'll regret it for the rest of your life" Emma said so softly, almost kindly it stung her heart. Emma had no right to demand this of her. She had no right to do any of this. She had hurt her enough. Emma had caused enough damage. Why would she not just leave her alone?

"No!" Regina snapped and saw Emma's eyes widen. "What I regret is you!" she spat so forceful she saw beads of spit fly out of her mouth. She was livid, and she was pissed off. She watched as Emma stepped back, and Regina advantaged after her. "Letting you into mine and Henry's lives. Letting you into my bed, heart and home!" she seethed, her voice almost seemed to echo around the small room. "I regret you. I can't believe I trusted you!" the brunette screamed feeling her rage burn her inside out.

Stepping forward she kicked Emma's belonging out of the way. She shoved Emma backwards as hard as she could and heard the thud as the blonde connected with the counter behind her. Regina saw the flash of pain and fear in her love's eyes, as she swallowed the bile that rose in her throat. The same look Henry had given her when she's shouted at him for using Emma's name.

"I gave everything to you, Emma! Every single part of me!" Her tone was ebbing to desperation. Desperation for Emma to understand. Understand what she had done. What was worse was the look in the other woman's eyes. Complete understanding. She was already bare…completely naked in front of the woman she'd given total control to, what was one more confession. "I was even going to propose" Regina admitted the fire burning out and slumped slightly, realising she was pressed up against Emma. She could feel her. She could smell her. Feel her heart beating even faster than her own.

She expected to see surprise in the other woman's eyes but all she saw was more sadness; and it broke her even further. "I know… I found the ring" Emma whispered. Her blood ran cold, and her vision seemed to blur around the edges, as she clung to counter behind Emma.

"You … what…?" Regina asked in disbelief. "When?" she asked before Emma could even open her mouth to answer. She'd bought the ring shortly after Christmas when Emma had confessed to thinking about their future. She'd been amazed at the idea that Emma had put time and effort into considering what her future was going to be like; and wanted Regina in it. Wanted her to be in her plan. Emma Swan the woman, who ran, had made that commitment and had been honest enough to share it. Then it had all gone so terribly wrong and Regina hoped and waited for the right time. She wanted for things to go back, back to how they were. Then she would ask; and it would have been perfect.

"The night before I left" Emma breathed as if the words caused her physical pain.

Regina heard her own gasp before Emma's words even had time to register. Register their meaning. She felt winded. Emma's admission hurt more than if she'd ripped out Regina's heart and crushed it under the heel of her boot. She'd…she'd found it. She'd found it and left. Oh god. Regina had been the reason she'd left; because she hadn't meant it. She hadn't meant it when she'd said she wanted Regina in her future. She did not want to share her life with her. It all made sense now.

Pushing away from the counter she felt her face contort with the pain from within. The tears burned her eyes, she wouldn't let Emma see. She wouldn't give her the satisfaction. Gritting her teeth painfully hard she allowed herself a few deep breathes before turning back round to the woman who was still leaning against the countertop where Regina had left her. "You…" Regina started cursing the hurt undertone in just her first word. "If you didn't want to marry me you could have just said. Leaving town was a little extreme" Regina continued thankful her voice seemed stilled though her insides were reeling.

Emma's mouth widened, though not as far as her eyes did. "What …?" the former sheriff asked clearly confused. The shortened blonde hair moved as Emma shook her head vigorously. "No... Regina… I did. I do. Just listen to me" the woman begged reaching out towards her. Regina would not seek comfort in the woman. She wouldn't give either of them the pleasure in it.

Dodging the evading hand, Regina snared. "Awfully sure of yourself aren't you". She did not want to hear promises and pleasantries from this woman. She had believed her when she had said it last time; she would not be fooled again. It was very clear that Emma did not want to be Regina's wife. A fact that hurt so deeply it was hard to even keep breathing, but she would not break down in front of Emma.

"_Now_ you want to talk. You never listened to me" Regina exclaimed angrily. "I _begged_ you to stay Emma and you still walked away. I rang you repeatedly and you never answered…you never rang back. So no dear. You don't get tell me to listen to you" Regina finished in disgust.

Emma stepped forward and seemed unfazed by the glare Regina was shooting right at her. The hand that came to rest upon her forearm seemed to ignite Regina's skin. Just as it always had. "I know you did, and I'm sorry but I _couldn't_ ring you" Emma responded so quietly Regina wasn't sure if she'd heard it or imagined the words.

"Why the hell not?" Regina barked, cursing herself for once again letting her pain show, as she ripped her arm out of Emma's grasp. Then realisation caught Regina square in the chest. It almost crushed her beneath its weight. "You listened to the voicemails didn't you?" Regina asked hoarsely. The shaken breath that fell from Emma's lips was enough of an answer; she did not need the nod that followed.

"You listened to them" Regina said in disbelief. "I cried and begged you Emma. I…How could I have been so stupid to believe anything you've said to me these last two years" the former mayor continued feel the irritation at herself clawing at her insides. She had been so damn foolish. She had been right to not let this woman into her heart, and she had believed very word that had come out Emma's mouth, and had cast away her doubts readily. Idiot!

"You listened to me in that amount of pain and you didn't want to stop it" Regina said, finally breaking. The tears were going to fall either way, and Emma wasn't going to leave until she'd said her part. So she'd let them. She would let Emma feel guilty, if she even cared enough to feel that.

"I did!" Emma shouted making a grab for Regina's arm yet again, though this time the older woman was quicker.

"Not badly enough!" Regina answered her tone flared. "Whatever happened to the woman I loved?" She asked Emma incredulity as she felt the tears fall silently down her face.

"I'm standing right here, Regina" the blonde said quietly, though she made no move to take her arm again. The older woman almost hated her for not trying to comfort her, once again.

"I asked you to stay, you didn't. I told you not to come back and yet here you are. Clearly your incompetence at following simply instruction has not improved" Regina snarled in revulsion. "You left me and Henry. The woman I loved would never have done that" the brunette continued as if Emma had never spoken.

"You have every right to be angry with me" the blonde said, her tone suggesting she was trying to reason with her. As if Regina was almost being unreasonable. She had every right to feel angry and hurt. She was both. She wasn't acting nor feeling irrational.

"Thank you dear for your permission" she retorted bitterly.

"Urgh … that's not what I meant" the other woman said with a slight whine to her voice. Yet again the familiar drag of Emma's hand through her fair hair in frustration made Regina's stomach flip. The gesture almost…normal.

"What exactly _do_ you mean Miss Swan", she prodded coolly.

"I understand. I would be too" the saviour said softly, almost agonizingly so.

"Except I wouldn't put you through the same hell you've put me through", Regina shot, venom and hurt in equal measure lacing each word. "I most certainly wouldn't …what lie about loving you? I don't even know anymore because it's clear you don't love me" Regina said uncertainly, and she hated herself that uncertainty. She hated herself for showing her vulnerability once again.

The blond shot her a stunned look, which was accompanied with an open mouth. "I do love you Regina…." It made her heart skip the familiar old sensation. Her traitorous heart heard the words and made her feel them. Why did Emma have to look so endearing, so scared and desperate to be believed; and why did Regina want nothing more than to do just that.

"You left me standing there Emma. You left and never looked back" Regina screamed. Silence seemed to hang on the air around them; if there was any air left in the kitchen it turned cold at the screamed pain held words. "You didn't even kiss me goodbye" she continued her voice betraying her further by cracking.

"Regina…" the woman breathed as if she was going to object in some way.

"You just disappeared off the face of the earth, but not to your precious mother" Regina half sneered, ignoring Emma's interruption once again. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she was almost certain it was trying to escape. "She was obviously supportive enough … you know just has she has been since we got together" the former mayor quipped cruelly, and saw Emma buckle under her reasoning. Snow had never shown one ounce of support towards Emma nor their relationship since it had begun.

Regina paused for a moment, and realised that Emma had in fact been referring to Snow as her mother. Something she had done so rarely before, it struck her as odd that she had just realised. It had taken Emma to break up with her for Snow to finally give her nod of approval. The approval Emma had already strove for from her mother. "Was that it? Snow dictated and you went running, made you see sense. No one should love ever the Evil Queen" the brunette tried to train her tone but it carried her darkest secret anyway. It told Emma exactly what she had feared since the day she'd left.

"What! No Regina. No" Emma said loudly her, pleading her to understand that was not true. Just as she had done the day in the Sheriff's office three months ago. That had been her biggest fear. It always had been. That Emma would eventually realise what a foul and unlovable person she had agreed to be with. Just as Emma's eyes always did they spoke volumes. They told her it wasn't true, that she didn't believe that.

"Then what!" she shouted and for the first time she heard only pain her voice. It no longer carried the anger that had been bubbling away under the surface. It only held her distress and grief. Her sorrow and inability to understand.

"I want to explain. Explain everything. But... When I do everything will change. You won't...you won't look at me the same", Emma furthered looking far more serious than Regina had ever seen her; in a relationship or otherwise. Emma looked as if she was about to explode, though it would not have been in anger. The tears which clung to the dark eyelashes seemed to be waiting. Waiting for Emma to give up the fight to keep them in and there was nothing Regina could do but stand and wait for that moment too. Just had she had been doing for months.

"Everything has already changed. It changed the second you walked away three months ago" Regina said a little less forcefully than she would have liked; but she saw the first of the blonde's tears fall as if she'd screamed them.

"God Regina! I am trying to explain" Emma shot back. The blonde's face distorted in pain and genuine sorrow. It was aimed straight at her; and it was in that moment she realised it hadn't been her trying to stop Emma from talking. It had been Emma herself, because much as Regina had expected she didn't know how to explain. How to give the answers Regina craved.

"I don't know how" the blonde whispered weakly. "I don't know how to tell you. I'm being selfish. But I need to tell you. I need you" Emma seemed to demand, more to herself than seeking Regina's permission. "Please listen… I need you to listen to me. Please" her ex-partner begged. Regina moved to pull her arm out of Emma's hold once again, and only to feel the grip upon it tighten. "Please. Just let us have this. Please. I'm so sorry" the other woman pleaded as if her very life depended on it. She begged with her with her words, her eyes and soul; and it was heart breaking. She could see the cracks forming, and knew the damn was about to break.

Regina felt her anger ebb for a moment. The former queen loved the woman in front of her, and she had hurt in a way Emma had promised she never would. But looking at the broken woman before her, Regina saw for the first time the true face of the woman she loved. The Emma she hadn't seen the afternoon she'd left Storybrooke. She had last seen her, as the brunette had fallen asleep secure in her arms...only hours before Regina had woken alone. Regina could still feel the residue of toxic anger and betrayal she'd carried with her these lonely months, in the pit of her stomach, but she could not ignore the plea of her love's eyes.

In a moment of weakness Regina gave in. She closed the gap between them and felt Emma's body collide with her own. Her body working separate to her brain, automatically enfolded her arms around the former Sheriff, pulling her close. Emma's head fell into its rightful place in the crux of the brunette's neck. The impact was instantaneous. The blonde's legs seemed to give way causing Regina to fall ungracefully into the other woman as they both crumpled to the ground. Any other time Regina may have considered scolding the other woman, however the muffled scream that fell from the blonde's lips made her heart stop and stomach lurch.

Instinctively she pulled the woman in closer, and could feel Emma's entire body shake. Her Emma truly was broken; and Regina was trying her hardest to keep the shattered pieces together but they were slipping through her fingertips. The grip Emma had upon her was constricting. So much so it was hard to even draw in breath; and her emotions weren't helping either. Tears blurred her vision as she held Emma tightly in her arms. The way they'd landed Regina was almost sitting on Emma's lap, though the grip from the younger woman made it physically impossible for her to move.

Regina placed a gently kiss upon the blonde hair near her face trying to sooth the crying woman but instead she felt Emma's shudders worsen. Regina felt afraid. She was not one to admit it when she was but she was terrified. The former mayor's hand came to rest on the back of Emma's head which was burrowing itself into Regina's shoulder almost painfully so. She didn't know what to do. She had wanted Emma to feel her anguish, yes; but not this. This was agony. Her heart was racing impossibly fast and she was lost sitting on the half upon the hard cold ground and half upon the woman she loved completely out of her depth.

"I've got you" Regina whispered and heard Emma's whimper in return.

"I'm so sorry" Emma wept, and god did she mean it. It physically hurt Regina to hear it. To hear the pain and the sorrow in the woman's voice. She was truly sorry. Regina could feel the woman's tears soaking her blouse.

"Tell me" Regina whispered, letting her fingertips play with the feathered ends of Emma's hair, trying to sooth the distraught woman. Nothing Emma said could feel as bad as it felt holding Emma, unable to do a thing. She had to know whatever was causing Emma such pain. Emma needed to share it. Whatever it was, they could deal with it once the blonde said it.

She felt Emma shift, but all she did was turn her head. It enabled Emma to pull herself closer still to Regina. The former Queen could feel the woman's shuddering breath against the base of her throat. She heard the breath shudder further still, deafening loud next to her ear though the voice that followed was so quiet it startled her. "The night before I left…I went to see Whale, again. I…He'd…He'd found a brain tumour", Emma said thickly, releasing the burden she'd carried alone for almost four months.


	7. Chapter 6

**Title: **Last Thing You'll Do

**Author**: Calliope-plantain

**Rating:** M

**Pairing:**Regina/Emma

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Once. All characters in this story sadly do not belong to me; they're simply being borrowed for a little while, and then will be returned. This story was not written for profit and no copyright infringements are intended.

**Storyline:** Regina could say her life was perfect… and then it got turned upside down.

**Author's Note:**After my Beta read this – she told me to tell you I wrote it BEFORE 3x11 aired…

**Beta: **Scarlet-Marauder awesomely encouraged me to write this, and then was my beta. So any mistakes she's missed and any feelings of distress are her fault ;)

"_The next heart you crush will be mine" – 45-Spacer._

"What?" she breathed her voice sounding foreign to her ears. She was being suffocated. She couldn't even draw in breath. A lead weight was crushing her chest. Regina's body and brain weren't connected though she felt the rush travel through her entire body making her feel dizzy. She was going to pass out. Her sense of time and surroundings wouldn't click into place either. Her vision seemed to blur around the edges as if her body was losing the ability to keep her conscious. Her constant anchor to reality…her now stark blindingly painful reality was Emma's shuddering breathing against her throat.

"He found a brain tumour" the blonde timidly repeated against her skin, though Regina did not need the words to be said again. She needed the words to be explained. How could Emma have a tumour? It didn't make sense. It didn't…click inside Regina's head.

A brain tumour. That wasn't…that wasn't possible. That couldn't be true. Emma … Whale had to be mistaken. No they were wrong. It couldn't be a brain tumour. Regina had stayed awake worrying as she watched Emma become more distant and their day to day life become increasingly difficult. She'd cried herself to sleep when the woman who should have been there to comfort her and tell her everything was okay, was nowhere to be seen. She'd thought of so many situations and problems Emma could have gotten herself into that the other woman had felt she had to run away; but she had never thought that. She'd never thought of Cancer.

"No…you don't…you can't" Regina stammered into the blonde hair she was now clutching. It felt as if the ground beneath her had vanished and she was simply suspended in mid-air waiting for the moment she would fall into the dark abyss beneath her. She felt the small kiss pressed against her neck before Emma moved. Regina slipped the final inches to the ground which seemed solid and cold beneath her knees as she came to sit on her heels. Emma slid upwards through no more of the other woman into view as Regina felt Emma's fingers wove in her hair. Regina's scalp tingled at the familiar, well known feeling.

Emma's cheek was flushed against Regina's now and she could feel the blonde's tear coated skin against her own, and hear Emma's jagged breath against her ear. Her love was mirroring her now, though Emma's hold seemed stronger and more stable. Regina let the tears fall. Hearing Emma's staggering breaths despite her determined hold against Regina's head and waist confirmed Emma's words.

"I do…and I'm so sorry" the other woman said her breathing shook so dangerously Regina felt her own grip against the woman's waist tighten. She heard the wet kiss placed against her ear as well as the repressed sob that fell from her lover's lips. Closing her eyes she felt the warm tears fall down her face. God…this couldn't be happening. How could this be real?

Once again, much like it had so many times since the day it happened; their last argument played itself in Regina's mind. Little Emma had screamed at her that day made sense. She had tried so hard to make it fit, to make it make sense; and she always failed. But she remembered Emma's final words before she'd announced she was leaving Storybrooke. Now that made sense and she felt like vomiting. She remembered Emma's frantic tone as she'd shouted "I just want to be happy for once without everything fucking up! And I can't even have that." Whale had potentially handed her a death sentence, and Emma had ran.

Her hand tightened slightly in the blonde tress around her fingers. She wanted to do something…anything to ease the pain she felt. The pain she heard in the woman holding her though her harsh breathing was lessening. When had it changed so she was the one being comforted…being held? When had their lives changed so drastically?

"Again?" Regina said breaking the silence as the entirety of Emma's confession reached her brain. She'd said again…when and why had Emma been to see him before? Why hadn't she told her? "You said again" Regina added as Emma shifted and moved away from her completely. Their knees seemed to be the only thing touching now as they all but sat in the debris of Emma's forgotten belongings. The guilt was back.

Emma looked so small in front of her, and Regina wanted to scoop her up again in her arms and block the rest of the world out. Make it so nothing could hurt them. None of this would be real and they could be happy…together. Emma's face was blotchy and eyes bloodshot. Eyes that did not look at her now. They too were taking in the items surrounding them; though Regina could see it. Could see the stance and expression Emma often gave when around her mother. The look of the little girl within wanting approval. Emma was scared of the answer she was about to give, and it terrified the brunette.

The former sheriff licked her lips slightly before she spoke, though her address was to an old sweater to Regina's right. "About two weeks before…I left" the blonde said seemingly to struggle with the concept of expressing her departure. Regina knew Emma had left there was no need to skirt around it. Though now she knew why…

"I was working in the office and then suddenly I had Ruby standing over me. I'd passed out" Emma explained and Regina felt her stomach flip. Two weeks… Regina knew about the headaches but even the morning ritual of vomiting had only taken place in the final week. "She took me to see Whale. He took blood. He thought it might have been Anaemia, and thought it might have been a stress related ulcer or something like that" her former lover continued now talking to her hands which she was now mindlessly fidgeting.

Emma paused for a moment, almost considering her next words. She lightly worried her bottom lip before she said gently "He realised however that I'd actually had a seizure …"

"God Emma" Regina exclaimed without thought. Emma's eyes rose to hers sadly flickered with what looked like shame. Why hadn't she fucking told her? Why had she tried to act normal when Regina could see there was something wrong? Why had she run, when she clearly needed help?

Emma's eyes lowered again and Regina felt a rush of remorse. The other woman had clearly seen her emotion upon her face. She was just trying to make sense of it. All of it. It was senseless!

"The tests came back saying some level was high, so he took even more blood to rule things out. But he was mainly looking for cancer markers" the fair haired woman explained. Regina felt her own brow crease, there was that word. That word Regina didn't quite understand yet. Cancer was something she'd heard of, of course but it wasn't one she expected to encounter so intimately. Emma's gaze rose once again to meet hers.

"Those are proteins which are present if your body is fighting cancer" the blonde clarified sensing Regina's confusion; though misinterpreting its origin. "He then took an MRI and CT. He called me into his office the day before I left" Emma finished, sliding down to now be sitting firmly on the cold kitchen floor.

"That's why you were late" Regina said softly as the memory hit her along with the realisation.

"Yeah" Emma said gently with slight nod. "He said I needed a biopsy. So he made an appointment with a specialist in Boston" the younger woman continued though now seemed to be almost refusing to look away from Regina. The brunette couldn't help the grimace; both at the thought of Emma receiving a biopsy, and the word. The other word apart from Emma's name, Regina had all but banned from her life. Boston. The place that had caused her so much pain; and yet it appeared unknowingly to Regina to have caused so much happiness too. Without it the woman she loved wouldn't be sitting in front of her.

The woman gave her a small but sad smile. Emma understood Regina's reaction. Emma really did know her better than anyone else ever had. "He said he was pretty sure I had a GBM … which stands for Glioblastoma Multiforme" she explained clearly as if to make sure Regina understood everything. It took a moment of consideration that Emma had had to understand and learn all these terms on her own. She had had no guiding hand, much like the one gently resting upon Regina's knee. She had been completely alone. "But he wasn't sure… hoped it wasn't because they're rare" Emma continued.

"Why?" Regina asked quietly. At the look of slight confusion on other woman's face the brunette continued, "Surely none would be better".

She saw Emma's signature smile spread across her lips. Even though it was diluted by the tear filled eyes; it still made Regina's head spin and feel…safe. Emma swallowed gently giving a small flick of her hair to rid her face of it. She watched as the smile slipped and tear fell. Regina could see Emma had been fighting all of this too long and it seemed she'd all but given up. "It was clear that I had cancer Regina…that wasn't a question at that point" Emma explained, entwining their fingers together now. Emma's hand felt like ice against her own. "Different types are treated differently, managed differently and they vary in survival rate" the saviour continued, gently squeezing Regina's hand.

Survival rate. The nausea returned with a jolt. Survival rates…how had they gotten to this place? How had they gone from promises of a happily ever after to the likelihood of Emma's survival? This couldn't be happening…it couldn't be real; but it was. The fingertips dancing across the back of her hand were the blunt reminder that this was real. It was very real and all she could do is sit, open mouthed staring at her love in disbelief.

"Was it that kind?" Regina asked softly; not entirely sure she wanted the answer. All she had wanted for over three months was answers. Here Emma was with all the answers to any question she had, and she didn't want them. She wanted the calming bliss of innocence. Yet she knew … she knew she needed all her questions answering.

"Yeah" Emma answered thickly, and even looked apologetic at her answer. "The biopsy was done in the first few days. The specialist who I literally only saw that once, did more blood tests, another CT, chest X-ray to see if it had spread" the blonde explained, and Regina could feel the blonde practically counting off the tests against her own hand. "He checked my vision, my hearing. But yeah it was a GBM" the blonde said with a small nod. Emma had been poke and prodded. She had had so many tests done, yet another reason Regina couldn't deny the words from the other woman's mouth.

"What's a GBM's rate?" Regina asked carefully. She couldn't say nor ask about the survival rate. The idea of it was crushing her. She had to know the facts. She could digest what they all meant once she knew; once she understood what it all meant.

Emma's glistening eyes flickered upwards; and Regina felt her stomach plummet. Her heart was beating faster within her chest though she was sure it was trying to strangle her, as her throat tightened at the defeated look in her lover's eyes.

Through her own tears she saw the former sheriff chewed her bottom lip before she answered shakily, "Without treatment…" The dark green eyes lowered to hers once again and with a shaking lip; a sure indication of the tears that were about to fall, Emma continued, "Whale told me about four months from when it first starts to form".

The brunette heard her own gasp though had no recollection of the decision to make the noise. Emma had been unwell for about a month before she'd left, that was over four months ago. Oh god…

"He wasn't sure how far a long I was" the other woman explained, as more tears fell down her fair cheeks. All Regina wanted to do was swipe them away and tell Emma everything was going to be okay. Expect she didn't know that. In fact in this very moment she had never known less or been so unsure of anything in her whole life. "It's one of the problems with GBM they're fast and so Whale hoped it wasn't a GBM because they grew fast often before producing the symptoms" Emma continued. It was now Regina's fingers soothing Emma's skin. The change was small, almost unnoticeable.

"You got treatment right? So it's longer … I mean you're still…" Regina stammered unable to say the words. This wasn't meant to be happening; Emma was thirty years old for god sake. Her body wasn't meant to just give up and start attacking itself.

"Alive?" the other woman asked sympathetically. The slight head tilt told Regina, Emma had long come to terms with her fate. A fate that should have never been hers. "Yeah…with successful treatment the rate for a grade four goes up to about fifteen months" Emma continued carefully though her small smile was anything but joyful.

Fifteen months? That's just over a year. That had been four…five months ago. Emma could have less than a year left. Less than a year with Henry and her. God this wasn't happening. None of this was making sense in Regina's head and yet it was fitting together perfectly.

"But you're okay now though …. Right?" Regina asked timidly, the presence of hope was undeniable. Emma had to be okay. Sure some people with a successful treatment only had fifteen months, but this was Emma. Emma was the saviour and could beat anything. She was the person Regina was meant to be spending the rest of her life with, she couldn't just go. She couldn't just stop existing. She had to stay alive!

A dark look seemed to move across the blonde's face before she spoke again. "We knew complete resection was going to be near impossible; they were never going to get the whole thing. They managed to get about sixty percent" Emma explained a little too calmly. Resection? What did that mean? Once again Regina was hit the realisation of how much Emma had been through since she'd walked away that day. The amount she had had to learn and absorb in such a short time. And sixty percent? That was bad right? It was more than half…which was good?

"They tried Radiotherapy that didn't work at all; I think it might have been getting blocked by my magic" Emma continued, the hand not clasped in her own was gesturing almost erratically with each spoken sentence. Magic had stopped the cure. Regina had long since learnt that magic did not hold all the answers but she hadn't known a sorceress' own magic to hinder their own ability to heal.

"Then they tried something called Temozolomide; it's a type of chemotherapy medication" the younger woman clarified. Regina guessed her feeling of utter confusion must have been showing on her face. "That just made me tired and have mass headaches. I couldn't eat anything not that I wanted to anyway, it made everything taste like metal" Emma continued with a look of disgust on her face at the memories locked away in her own head. It seemed as if the supposed cures and medications had done just as much damage as the illness itself. "But basically that didn't work either. Ended up getting an infection and going back into hospital" Emma finished with a deep breath.

Infection? That was very bad. Medication wasn't mean to make you sicker than you already were. Regina's brain was trying to connect everything Emma had just said. So was she better? On her way to being better? The operation had worked, not as well as they had hoped but better than they had expected…right? The second two hadn't worked, but the first being a success was good news and meant good things. Didn't it?

"Emma…I'm sorry but I don't know what all that means" Regina said tentatively. She felt Emma's hand slip out of her and watched as the other woman brought her knees to her chin, hugging her legs to her chest. The gesture was one of defeat and retreat, and Regina thought she knew why. But she needed to hear it. She needed to hear Emma say the words. Only she was begging her not to.

"Sorry…dealing with the facts has been easier than all this" Emma's muffled sniffle sounded from the mess of limbs. The sound of it broke Regina's heart. Regina's vision clouded once again as a fresh batch of scorching tears filled from her eyes. Despite her tears she could see Emma's body shaking with silent sobs. Without thought she was up on her knees and crawled the fresh made distance between them. Reaching for Emma, Regina engulfed the younger woman in her arms allowing her head to rest against the newly shorn locks.

She tried. She really tried to stop the tears from falling but they wouldn't follow her brain's command. The harder she tried the more forcefully they fell. Somewhere in the middle of comforting Emma she felt the blonde's hand take her own once again, though the blonde did not seem to move. The grip was vicelike and almost as painful as the pressure upon her chest. "It's okay" Regina reassured, though which of the two women she was trying to reassure she didn't know.

The sob that followed was Emma's first audible sound and it made Regina tighten heart sharply within her chest and stomach heave. "No" Emma cried, holding the brunette's hand in a bruising grip. "No. I'm not okay Regina. Very far it" she sobbed, her head shaking so violently Regina had to move to not be hit. It was then she realised her grip upon her love's hand was just as great as the one being forced upon her; as if both were afraid to let go. "It's growing fast", the saviour added sounding so small and void of hope it made Regina's whole world spin off kilter.

"So…what does…" Regina asked, though her question and thought process was cut short why the raise of Emma's head and look of absolute devastation upon her face. Her eyes almost seemed to empty of all emotion except sorrow and guilt. Both that were aimed directly at her; and she knew without doubt what Emma's answer would be to her unspoken question.

Emma gave a small nod though to what the former Queen was unsure of. "I'm dying Regina. I don't know the exact moment but its coming" Emma sobbed thickly. Her voice was so fragmented it was nearly impossible to understand, though the meaning was painfully and undeniably clear.

Regina felt her guttural sob rack through her so painfully it felt as if her chest was on fire. The hand that rose to clamp around her mouth only just masked the sound. "_I'm dying_". Her own hand was no use as a barricade against her body vibrations as the words kept repeating in Regina's head. As the words screamed at her from inside her own head and she could do nothing to stop them. She could feel the tears burning their way down her skin, as she fought the urge to empty her stomach of the meal she'd eaten hours ago. All she could feel was the burn of alcohol and bile within her throat, as her vision blurred and threatened to blacken completely.

She saw the pain…and the guilt shining from Emma's eyes. She could see her love's lip quivering and wanted so badly to capture it. Capture it and lose herself in the feel of Emma's lips against hers; and forget it all. Forget. God. Her insides were writhing in agony. This was their reality now. After everything Regina had done to get her happy ending, she'd been allowed to feel it. Touch it. Enjoy it. But only for a while, before it was snatched away for her. From Emma. God…Emma was dying. Why was Emma being punished for her past? It should be Regina that suffers, not Emma. She wanted desperately to take it away. She wanted to make it okay. To make Emma be okay, but she couldn't.

"Regina?" Emma asked gently her voice still thick with emotion. The younger woman in front of her sounded so far away as if the former Mayor were listening to her through a thick fog. Emma's lips moved, though the noise seemed to take an age to reach her, and longer still for Regina's bewildered up brain to register its meaning. She couldn't speak and her brain wasn't trying making the effort to try. It didn't seem to even remember it was meant to be letting Regina breath because the feeling of lead upon her chest was getting worse.

"Regina…" Emma said again though this time her voice sounded more scared than sorrowful. It was subtle. The change in expression; it was small, so small if Regina didn't know Emma so well she may have missed it. Emma was scared. "I'm sorry" the former Sheriff said, her eyes were riddled with guilt. Guilt she felt because she'd hurt Regina with her revelation. She now understood what Emma had meant. Emma leaving had hurt. The pain had been unbearable Regina had thought. But it was nothing on this. Nothing on the thought…no the knowledge that the person who loved, the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with…the person who was meant to be standing next to her for the rest of their lives watching their son grow up; was dying and she couldn't do anything to stop it. She had no control.

The brunette opened her mouth to offer some sort of comfort but there was none. All she could do was shake her head slightly and hope Emma understood. No words could make it better. There were no promises or bargains to be made. There were no enchantments that she knew of. She had been the Evil Queen surely if there were such a spell she would know of it. There were no magic words to cure Emma … were there?

"What about magic …?" she asked, her voice sounding hoarse. Emma looked relieved to hear Regina finally speak though brunette knew whatever answer she was about to be given would not make her feel any better.

"I went to Gold when Whale first told me what he thought it might be…" Emma explained her voice so guff it sounded as if she had swallowed gravel. Gold. She'd been to see Gold about this? On her own? Did she have a death wish? Regina's eyes slid shut at the thought. God this couldn't … no this should not be happening!

"Gold? Emma…" Regina reprimand. How could she have been so stupid? That little imp wouldn't have helped Emma, and even if he had all magic came at a price. What price would he have demanded from her? What leverage would he have gained over the saviour? God what unspeakable deeds could he have gotten to her to promise? Regina should have gone. If she had known she would have gone and tried to make a deal with the man. She would have endured anything for this woman. If only Emma had told her, instead of doing this all on her own. The stupid woman!

"I know" Emma replied easily. Yes she did know. She knew how foolhardy going to Gold had been. But the look the saviour was giving her, and clammy hand in hers confirmed what she already knew. Emma was sitting upon her kitchen floor almost skin and bones, with a cancerous tumour riddling her brain; because there was nothing that could have been done.

"He couldn't do anything. No deal was made because there was nothing he could do" Emma explained, her tone was one of almost reassurance. Regina understood the blonde was trying to assure her no price had been paid, which was good; except the only bit that really registered was that Gold hadn't been able to do anything. The Dark One had been unsuccessful.

Only that didn't make any sense. Henry had spent time, though it was limited, with his father in the last three months. Surely Gold would have told his son, about Emma's … predicament? If nothing else to enable Neal to prepare Henry for what sounded like the inevitable outcome. Only Henry had always kept his unwavering faith in his birthmother's return. "Henry has spent time with Neal…Why didn't Gold tell him?" Regina asked gently.

Emma nodded gently with a humourless smile; it almost looked like an effort to even do that. "I threaten to tell Neal that he had tried to make a deal with me if he told" Emma explained. "Gold tried and failed to do…something. Because he failed he said there was no "charge", but really he did it for Neal", Emma continued softly.

"You shouldn't have gone to Gold Emma. You should have come to me" Regina said hearing the plea in the tone; as if begging could change things now. "We could have found a cure together…we still could!" Regina suggested naively, despite knowing it was hopeless. How could they just give up? How could Regina just give up on Emma? On the live they were meant to share? This couldn't just be it. This couldn't be the end.

She watched as Emma lifted their clasping hands to her lips and placed a gently kiss upon Regina's knuckles. The former Queen couldn't hold back the sob at the gesture. The brunette easily slipped her hand up to cup Emma's cheek. The soft skin felt cold but clammy beneath her fingertips as she wiped away the endless stream of tears.

The smile that was thrown in her direction was a sorrowful one. Regina knew it was hopeless to think maybe they could do something, but hope was all she had left. Once again and not for the first time this evening their last argument came back to her with a loud resounding bang. Emma had asked Regina what was left here in Storybrooke because she had such little hope left. The only option she had was to go to Boston; but she did not have to go alone.

"Whale hadn't confirmed it, and I didn't want to worry you if it was just something like Anaemia. By the time we knew for sure, I already knew there wasn't some magical cure. For once science was the only option to me" Emma explained regretfully. The saviour's hand had risen to join hers against the blonde's cheek. Regina felt helpless. She felt useless and there was nothing she could do for the woman that held her heart.

"So you left" Regina supplied easily though not without the painful throb to her chest. She felt despair and anger; she hated not having control. She hated feeling powerless. She felt anger at Emma and her decisions. She felt anger at life and the shit hand she'd been dealt yet again. Surely she should have found the aces in the deck by now. She had thought she'd finally been dealt the winning hand, only for life to call her bluff.

"Yes" Emma replied her voice cracking considerably.

"We deserved that time Emma" the former Queen replied her own speech mirroring her lover's so easily. Three months. They had wasted three months of Emma's reducing time left. Emma had run and robbed them of it. Henry had only know his birthmother for under three years; while Regina had been stupid and hesitant of getting up her heart and soul. If only she'd been braver, if only she'd spoken up sooner; they would have had more time. Time she needed now. This couldn't be it for them. This couldn't be all they got.

"Henry and I deserved it. It wasn't your decision" Regina continued unable to hold back the resentment in her voice. She felt Emma's warm tears fall over her fingertips. She pulled her hand away; momentarily surprised at Emma's submission to the gesture. The easy submission made Regina's heart clench; because it showed how much Emma had already pulled away. It also showed how much she wasn't ready to let go because here she was right in front of her with tears rolling down her face, no longer the need to try and stop the flow.

"I made a decision, the only damn thing I had any control over" Emma said with the hint of bitterness. She could see Emma was just as angry at the world as she was, and it wasn't difficult to understand why. Much like Regina Emma liked control. Neither of their lives had ever given them much. Regina had taken it. She had taken what power and control she could get her hands on and used it. Emma had not. Emma simply gave up; sure she had gotten out of the foster system and put various roofs over her head. But power…it was something Emma had striven for and only recently gained. It was something that a relationship with Regina had helped her receive. According to Emma, it was something that she had chosen. Falling in love with Regina had been a pointless and futile battle, but being with her…that had been her choice.

"My life was falling apart and I choose to not share that with you and Henry" Emma continued her voice carrying loudly despite the short distance between them. The words made her ache. The ache was so deep she felt it in her soul. She knew Emma had thought she had done the right thing, or maybe she didn't because here she was; but Emma believed she had done what was best. Except it wasn't. It wasn't what was best. Running away was not what was best. Not telling Regina what was happening to her; what could happen…that was not what was best. She could understand not wanting to tell Henry, he was only thirteen but she should have told her. Give her time to adjust…to prepare. Her heart was pounding and she felt like she was going to have a heart attack. Or pass out. Or both. Both seemed very possible right now.

She stood. The ascent seemed to be in slow motion and she felt as if she were travelling through something thick. Something that was stopping her movements and making them sluggish. She saw the look of hurt in Emma's eyes and couldn't do a damn thing to stop it. There was nothing she could do. Not one fucking thing. Emma was dying and all she could do was watch. Watching was better however than not knowing. At least now she knew what was coming. Emma had given her that now. The things they could have done…could have seen. They could have done anything in the last three months.

"You had no right do that. We should have been there with you" Regina chided, looking down into the saddest eyes she'd ever seen. Her voice did not carry the anger she felt, only disappointment. She was used to feeling anger; but this? This anger had no release. No desire for revenge or destruction; only desperation and fear. Fear of what was to come, sadness what could have been.

Emma swayed dangerously as she rose to stand level with Regina. The brunette fought the urge to throw out an arm to stand the young woman but the glare she received as she made to move told her to stay put. Emma had said Regina would feel look at her differently once she knew, and Regina was proving her right. God the urge to protect the woman she loved that she always carried with her, had never been stronger.

"To do what?" Emma barked at her though Regina heard the suppressed cry. "Sit there and hold my hand. Tell me how everything was going to be okay" the former sheriff added sarcastically. Nevertheless she heard the despair in Emma's voice, the feeling that so mirrored her own it broke Regina's heart.

"Yes!" Regina exclaimed and she saw Emma's eyes slide shut slowly as more tears fell. It was exactly what Regina was meant to have been doing. She was meant to have been holding Emma's hand and telling her it would be okay. She was meant to be have been the crutch that held the young woman up on the days she was about to give up. She was meant to have been there encouraging her reminding her of all the things she had left to fight for. To give her hope. "I was supposed to be there for you Emma. Support you so you didn't have to go through it alone" she finished heavily.

She saw the Emma Swan head tilt, and the widened of watery green eyes. She knew. Regina knew she wasn't going to win. She knew she was right, Emma could not have left without her. She knew she should have been there right next to Emma through it all. She knew why Emma had denied her of it, and part of her hated her for it. She wanted to scream, cry and lash out at the woman. She just wanted to cry.

"Regina …" Emma aspirated softly moving forward towards her. The shake of the blonde head only made her angrier; only it was with herself not Emma. She hadn't been able to protect her. Hadn't been able to look after her when she had needed her most. She had seen the damage Emma was doing to herself and did nothing.

"I was a mess. I couldn't have put you through that, and I most certainly couldn't but Henry though it." Emma explained softly as she reached out a hand to Regina's forearm. The fact she had thought so deeply about their son in this, while it did not surprise her, it did warm her heart. "All that pain and … god looking after me when there was a very large chance it wouldn't work…I couldn't" the gaunt woman explained and Regina could see the fallen tears glistening against her skin in the artificial light above them. Emma's tone was one of pleading. She was pleading with Regina to understand her point of view…understand her actions and sadly she did. She didn't like them and would never condone them, but she understood.

"But you're home now …" Regina whispered gently; and couldn't help the slight smile at the phrase. Emma had said it only thirty or so minutes ago. Home. Regina had been wrong. This truly was Emma's home. The only place she belonged. With her and Henry….forever.

"I told you I was being selfish" Emma said the hint of disgust at herself was very evident. The dark flatness of the tone scared Regina.

"You should have come home Emma…" Regina implored tenderly. "You shouldn't have left", she added firmly and saw Emma unmistakably fight the urge to roll her eyes, though the gesture never came. Regina had waited. She had sat and waited that night Emma had left, expecting her to come home. It was simply a fight and Emma would see reason and come home. Regina had lain in bed watching the minutes and hours tick by, shivering with a chill that had nothing to do with the empty sheets around her. She had waited; and here was her reward.

"I kept expecting you to realise what a mistake you were making, and come home. Realise what you were leaving behind" Regina admitted sheepishly and felt Emma's thumb move to rub her arm. It was almost soothing.

"Regina… I knew", Emma confessed. A confession that did nothing for Regina's aching heart. "I knew exactly what I was leaving behind and it was agony. Every day, it hurt me" the blonde continued her voice once again filling with the same emotion that occupied her eyes and caused tears. "I rang Mom because it was safe. I could …I could lie to her and not feel so guilty" she explained, her tongue sliding against her bottom lip in a nervous manner. She'd rang Snow knowing she could lie to her. Regina had envied her former step-daughter over the last three months. She had had almost constant contact with Emma and she had had none. It had all been a lie however.

"Then it became about Henry hearing my stories. Mom always said how excited he got at hearing them. I was still his hero" her love continued her tone momentarily content, almost happy. "I wasn't… I wasn't the mother who had abandoned him…yet again" Emma added her voice full of remorse. Regina instantly felt regret. Regret at the accusations she had fired at Emma that day in the Sheriff's office. She'd accused Emma of abandoning Henry, and watched as Emma recoiled at the words as if she'd been burnt. God…this was why.

"I couldn't have talked to you… I couldn't have lied to you. I couldn't have heard your voice and not told you" the other woman said with a vigorous shake of her head; and Regina watched as the movement seemed to make the freshly made tears splash off the fair skin. She wanted to make the pain stop; and the tears to stop falling. Emma hadn't called her to shield her from the truth.

"It would have all come out and me trying to protect you would have been for nothing. I had to stay in Boston … I couldn't just disrupt your and Henry's life like that" Emma finished her voice much higher in pitch than when she'd started. Not having Emma in their lives had made everything move at a snail's pace. Despite Regina belief that Emma wouldn't come back, she had hoped she would. Henry's ideas of his other mother being their white knight had given him the reassurance she would return to them. They had both been waiting, both putting their life on hold for the day she would walk back through their front door.

"Our lives were already disrupted … god Emma you weren't here" Regina spat in desperation for Emma to understand. "It felt like you were…all the time" she whined gently and felt Emma nearing her frame with her own. "Every day it was painful reminder that you walked away. You were meant to be here and you weren't" the brunette exclaimed sharply though she could feel her anger ebbing away. The feel of Emma's body against hers often had that effect on her. One day she could be able to be mad and stay mad at this woman without Emma using her weakness against her. Her weakness being Emma herself.

"I mean what if you'd… How would we have known? When we got a phone call from a stranger asking for us to claim your body" Regina finished as a sob shook her forcefully. She'd said the word. A "body" that would be all Emma was to the world. Another person who had walked the Earth not leaving much of a mark on the planet. But to Regina, Henry, her parents she was everything. To the people of Storybrooke she was their saviour. She was irreplaceable.

"Regina…" Emma whispered leaning further into her frame. The warmth of body did nothing to calm her now. It was only a stark reminder of what was to come; what was unavoidable.

"No!" Regina screamed feeling as if an invisible force was trying to suffocate her. "I was meant to be protecting you. I couldn't do that because I didn't know!" she continued as fresh scorching tears spilled her eyes. Emma was broken beyond repair and there was nothing she could do about it. The blonde had been falling apart and all Regina had tried to do was cover it with a Band-Aid and hoped it would go away. She had been trying to damn hard to hate this woman since the day she left, and now all this was happening. "I've spent the last three months cursing your name… I didn't know!" Regina sobbed forcefully.

Everything she'd thought about this woman over the last three months. Oh god the last voice mail…she'd said she didn't care, told her not to come back. She almost hadn't and it wouldn't have been Emma's fault. She could have died and that would have their last interaction. The last words Emma had heard her say. The last words Regina would have said to the woman she loved more than anyone, other than their son, would have been words of hatred and pain. They had been words fuelled only by anger and alcohol. Everything was falling apart and she couldn't keep the pieces together; all that was happening were her fingers…her heart and soul were being ripped to shreds.

"I didn't want to burden you" Emma whispered sadly. Her lover was anything but a burden. It would have been an honour and privilege she would have taken without thought. She would have been the rock Emma needed her to be. She would be that now. She wasn't going anywhere. "I didn't want to put you through it all. I needed you to be here and be strong. I needed to know that Henry would be taken care of" Emma said her voice now filled with an almost saddening determination. She had needed to know because she didn't know if she'd come back alive. Her love and clear need to protect their little boy made her heart skip while only serving to make her feel worse. Emma hadn't been thinking of herself as Regina had believed.

"I couldn't have either of you seeing me like that. None of this is your fault" the saviour reassured her gently.

"Yes it is!" she retorted sharply. "I should have known. I could see it Emma. You were wasting away in front of me and I just … I was angry with you" Regina continued disbelievingly. Emma believed by coming back she had been selfish, then it had been her, her being the selfish one."I was angry because you weren't … You were here and I could see it, and I didn't do anything" she said through gritted teeth. The anger was back, but this time it was anger at herself. She'd let this happen. "I let you pretend everything was okay. I was so worried for you and I just …" Regina swept now clinging to Emma as much as she had been her.

"Regina … please stop" Emma pleaded, resting her forehead against Regina's. Emma breath danced across her face, and it felt almost normal. Mundane. Something they should be doing for the rest of their lives.

"You were meant to be here Emma. You are meant to be here with me and Henry" the brunette said now sobbing harder than ever. "I love you so much, you can't d…" Regina declared before she felt Emma's lips cutting off her speech. They moved effortless against her own. Every tilt of Regina's head, Emma followed; pushing her into the table behind her, pressing herself into her length. This was where Emma was meant to be, where she was meant to have been. She wasn't meant to be in Boston or…

Emma pulled away and she heard her own groan at the loss of contact. She needed it. She needed Emma. She needed to feel her against her. Feel that she was still here. Still with her.

"Please" Regina whimpered gently. She couldn't deal with this. None of this. She wanted to forget. She wanted to get lost in Emma's touch, the smell of her hair and the warmth of skin. She wanted to forget and pretend that none of this was happening. She wanted to pretend that they had forever and every day to wake up next to each other. She wanted to pretend that she wouldn't need to tell their son that his moments with his other mother were coming to an end. She wanted to pretend they had the rest of their lives to be happy. It was her fairy tale, only this one wouldn't come true. But for tonight she would have it.

She watched as Emma's eyes roamed her face as if seeing any hint of hesitation. Or maybe she was debating whether this was a good idea or not. Emma's eyes landed upon her lips several times before she made the move. Before she seized Regina's mouth with her own, with a kiss that made Regina's knees weak. With only Emma's body keeping her up, she gave up the fight and forgot…if only for tonight.


	8. Chapter 7

**Title: **Last Thing You'll Do

**Author**: Calliope-plantain

**Rating:** M

**Pairing:**Regina/Emma

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Once. All characters in this story sadly do not belong to me; they're simply being borrowed for a little while, and then will be returned. This story was not written for profit and no copyright infringements are intended.

**Storyline:** Regina could say her life was perfect… and then it got turned upside down.

**Author's Note:**Last chapter before Christmas – not sure when I'll update!

**Beta: **Scarlet-Marauder awesomely encouraged me to write this, and then was my beta. So any mistakes she's missed and any feelings of distress are her fault ;)

"_The next heart you crush will be mine" – 45-Spacer._

The lips against hers felt like heaven. The table that she was being forced into felt like hell; one she would accept for the former. Emma's lips felt the same as they always had. They tasted the same too. The feel of the blonde skin beneath her fingertips made her heart sing and flesh buzz just the same. The body flushed against hers as always made her brain fog and pulse race. She delighted in the on slaughter of sensations being forced upon her; and seized each of them willing.

She felt Emma shiver as their lips and teeth danced their usual dance; and tongues fought their age old battle. Regina felt Emma's grip on her forearm tighten as if she were worried she'd pull away. Even if she wanted to, Emma effectively had her pinned in place. There was nowhere else in this world, or any other she'd rather be.

It was Emma who pulled away for a second time though this time rested her forehead against Regina's. Her breathe was hard, heavy and quick against Regina's face. It mirrored Regina's as she tried to gulp in as much oxygen as possible. She did not need to breathe or feel the drum of her heart within her chest. She needed Emma. She needed the feel of her skin; taste of lips and to know she was safe.

"Upstairs?" Regina asked softly and felt Emma nod against her. Opening her eyes she realised the blonde was watching her with hesitance in her eyes. Tears clung to the dark eyelashes and it was only then, that the brunette saw the dark shadows beneath her lover's eyes. They even looked slightly sunken, only making the fair face seem gaunter than it had when Regina had first noticed Emma's weight loss. She didn't want to think about it. She wanted to lose herself in her fantasy in which everything was okay. And so she moved from the hard table digging into her spine, and pulled her partner with her, ignoring the look of uncertainty in the dark soulful eyes.

The ascent was slower and more deliberate than the last time Regina had guided Emma upstairs behind her, three months ago. So much had changed since then, both Emma and she had changed considerably. Yet the house around them still felt the same; as did the hand held firmly in hers and the love she felt for the woman who followed her without question.

The door was opened with considered care, not with the force which had caused the scuff marks upon the wall behind it during their last night together. Regina hadn't the heart or the stomach to remove them. Seeing them daily had given her the edge to be angry at the woman who had stopped just in the door way causing Regina to pause as well.

Turning she saw what she thought was fear in the blonde's eyes. What was there for her to be afraid of? She was safe in this room, just as she always had been. The rest of the world did not matter. The world outside could crumple and fall, and it would not affect them in here. It was only them, standing in their bedroom.

Regina moved their clasped hands to her hip as she moved forward. She felt Emma automatically taking hold of her, and fought back a genuine smile. No matter what was happening around them, Emma's touch soothed her. While the emerald eyes looked scared and unsure the strong, lone hand upon her hip felt sure and assertive.

Regina stepped forward with what she hoped was a reassuring smile before moving to kiss the blonde. The lips under hers responded immediately; yet another thing that had not change. Regina was clinging to the things that would never change, that could prove almost that none of this was happening. Denial would not be her friend, but it powered her movements and desires.

The kiss was not about dominance. Neither fought for it, nor wanted it. It was about connection and intimacy. The mouth that swept over hers seemed to mould perfectly against her offering lips. Regina trailed her tongue slightly against Emma's mouth and felt her easy submission to the invading muscle. Some things really never changed. The older woman could easily hear both of their hitched breaths and small moans as their tongues slid effortlessly against each other in their well-practiced dance.

Regina felt Emma's hand move to take hold of her head, possibly to speed the kiss along…to deepen it. Before the other woman could grasp the back of Regina's head, she tugged on the hem of Emma's top. The blonde let out a disappointed groan at the move. It got louder still when the top went over her head forcing them apart.

Glancing down she allowed herself to look at her partner's body. It was the body she knew so well and yet it was so much smaller than it used to be. While Emma wasn't skin and bones, Regina could see her ribcage more than usual and her collar bone seemed that little more obvious. She was still as beautiful and perfect as she always had been, and yet the stark evidence in front of her made it that much harder to ignore. She couldn't look.

Emma hadn't noticed her lover's wandering eyes as the offending top was ripped from her and Regina took the offered lips eagerly as soon as they were available. The kiss changed. It became rough and needy, and Regina realised almost instantly it was her who was fuelling the kiss. Emma was simply following suit. The hand that finally took a hold of the back of Regina's head, pulling in her tighter, however was all Emma.

They swayed slightly as Regina moved to take off her dress. It was going to be a back zipped removal Emma would miss, though the way Emma seemed to cling to her, Regina doubted she'd mind this once. The dress pooled at her feet, and as she tried to step backwards both women stumbled back; Regina's foot caught in the dress. Regina couldn't help but smile at Emma's bewildered expression as it was Emma who'd caught the vanity and Regina's waist to stop them from falling completely to the ground.

She grinned further at the laugh that followed. If she could make Emma laugh like that again she'd be happy. Emma seemed to scoop her up, almost in a reversed dip; always her protector. Always the saviour.

Once they were on equal footing again Regina kicked the item of clothing away and was momentarily thankful it didn't try to take her down again, but instead flew across to the side. It was with a smile upon both their lips they met again, Regina still pulling Emma the rest of the way to the bed. Their bed? Was it their bed again?

When she felt her now exposed calf hit the bottom of the bed, she sat down and tried to pull the woman down with her only to be met by resistance. "Stop! Wait…Wait" Emma said trying to pull away from her, managing to only rest her hands upon the bed at either side of Regina's thighs.

"No", was Regina's simple reply. She didn't want to wait. She wanted this, and she wanted it now. She'd waited. She'd not waited for over three months, for it to be taken away now. She needed this. She needed it now. She tried to seize Emma's mouth again, only for the other woman to dodge out of the way at the last second.

"Regina I need to tell you something" Emma replied almost pleadingly and she saw the look. The same look she'd seen downstairs. The one of desperation and guilt.

"No" Regina said this time more forcefully. "I don't _want_ to know" she continued feeling her heart rise to her mouth. She didn't want to know, whatever it was. She did not want Emma to ruin this, any of this. She wanted the bliss in the ignorance. Emma's last confessions had destroyed her. She wasn't strong enough for more.

"Regina…" the blonde pleaded, once again evading Regina's advances.

"Please. It can wait till tomorrow" the older woman pleaded back. Why didn't Emma understand, she needed this. She needed to escape their reality. She just wanted to pretend for a little while. She just wanted to be happy.

Emma looked back at her with big sad eyes. They tell her that Emma doesn't think it can wait …or she doesn't want to. If it was another apology it could wait; if it was worse…it could wait because she didn't want to hear it. Not yet.

Looking at the alarm clock at the head of the bed she saw it was just after eleven o'clock. Tomorrow was coming whether she liked it or not. She could not freeze time, nor could she lock the rest of the world out. The time would come and they would have to face all this head on. But not yet. God just not yet. Turning her head back to the blonde, Regina knew she was pleading her with her eyes. "Hours…it can wait hours. Please Emma let us forget…be happy" she breathed hearing her tone threatening to break.

It was the coward's way out, it was unhealthy for both of them and Regina didn't care. She couldn't deal with any of this right now. She wanted to lose herself in the woman she loved, and maybe Emma could too. Tomorrow…tomorrow they could be rational and would probably fight because Regina still felt the anger and the upset. They'd throw things and shout, and hug and cry; try and figure what to do next. Tomorrow…it could wait until tomorrow.

She heard Emma's shuddering breath, and allowed her eyes to fall. Take in the blonde's body. From this angle she realised her eyes had deceived her. Yes Emma's weight loss was still obvious, but it didn't look so…sickly. She simply looked as if she'd lost some weight and muscle tone. It wasn't that bad.

Lifting her gaze once again, it connected with its green twin. Emma was looking at her with a look of curiosity; though the look of guilt still lingered. She watched as the younger woman swallowed gently, and eyes flickered for an instant. But she saw the moment when she'd won the battle; when Emma gave her the smallest of nods. She had won the battle, but not the war…and she knew it.

Regina pulled on Emma's belt buckle loop hard, causing the woman to literally crash into her. Both landed haphazardly upon the bed, and she heard the other woman's gasp of surprise and felt a pop upon her hand. A gasp Regina echoed when Emma sat back up, and she realised she'd just ripped the belt buckle loop. She couldn't help but half lay, resting on her forearms and just looking at the damaged jeans open mouthed; causing Emma to look down in confusion. A disgruntled noise fell from Emma's lips as she took in the damage.

"I'm sorry!" Regina exclaimed, only to be surprised when the look of annoyance upon Emma's face fell away completely to one of a small smile. A smile Regina couldn't help but return. A ripped belt loop was not the end of the world.

The brunette shuffled backwards to the head of the bed, her eyes never leaving Emma's. When she felt the pillows against her bare back, she gestured with one finger for her lover to join her. For a moment it looked as if Emma was going to change her mind. For a moment Regina held her breath.

It was one she let go, as Emma crawled the distance between them. Crawled right over the top of her and seized her mouth in a bruising kiss. It took her breath away. Despite its forcefulness the hand that wasn't holding the woman up, gently traced down her throat and came to rest on her shoulder with absolute care.

Regina gasped followed by a moan as Emma lowered herself to her forearm, causing her body to fall into Regina's. Skin on skin…jeans pressed into underwear. Regina wasn't sure what she missed most. The taste of Emma's lips against her own, as the blonde's tongue brushed Regina's lips seeking entrance. She gave it instantly. Or the feel of Emma's body against her own, as younger woman rocked into her ever so gently starting to build the pressure inside of her. Or was it the smell that was uniquely the woman above her that drove her wild.

No she'd missed it all. She craved it all. Needed it more than ever. Their breathing was hitched as they broke for air. Feeling Emma panting against her… moving against her felt incredible. Regina groaned deeply when Emma palmed her bra cladded breast, only being silenced by Emma's mouth upon hers again. She could feel Emma's thumb nail being dragged across her now sensitive nipple; and heard her own muffled cry of pleasure.

Emma's touch and hold felt hesitant though. Emma didn't do hesitant not even during their first kiss in front of Granny's almost two years ago to the day. She was holding back just as she had the night before she left. Emma had known what was coming; known what fate was waiting for her. Regina remembered now. Emma had cried. The blonde had easily shrugged off the tears but Regina now understood. Emma had believed it was their last time. Emma had planned to not see her again. The younger woman had given her what Emma had believed was her last memory of their time together. Regina was never meant to go to the Sherriff's office nor were they meant to fight.

In their bed, in Emma's embrace it was the only place she needed no control. She thrived on it in fact. She knew she could give up all pretences with this woman, and knew she was safe. Emma was hesitant and giving her all the control; she hated it. She wanted them back. She wanted to pretend it was normal but it wasn't.

Pulling away ever so slightly she once again delighted in the feeling of Emma's breath against her face. "Touch me" she urged slightly, and saw the woman's brow furrow in confusion.

"I am" Emma replied breathlessly.

The former Queen gave a small shake of the head and Emma's look of confusion only worsened. Emma was touching her, but it felt different. She did not want different. She wanted it to be the same as it always had been. She did not Emma to feel unsure or cautious about touching her. She wanted her Emma back. "No…touch me like you mean it. Like it's something you plan to do forever" Regina breathed, hating the tight clenching feeling upon her heart, because Emma wasn't going to do this forever. Emma was…

The lips on her own instantly forced any previous thought out of her head. She felt it. That spark. Their spark that used to flow so easily between them. It filled her head and made her dizzy. The hand near her head threaded its fingers into her hair making her head tingle. It was an odd but invigorating difference in the difference in sensations between the roughness of their bra clad breasts and the silky softness of Emma's skin against hers.

It was then the hand wrapped in her locks pulled her upwards, their lips never breaking contact. Regina's underwear clad core ground against Emma's jeans; the friction causing her to moan deeply, and she felt the blonde's smirk. The hand which had previously been tracing Regina's breast moved to fall beneath her and with practiced skill unfastened the item before lying the older woman back down.

Emma's lips were removed from her lips, causing her to groan disappointedly. It only made the woman above her grin deeper. With deliberate slowness Emma removed Regina bra from her body, though the brunette could feel her lover's hunger gaze upon her. The removed item was to the side, probably landing on the floor; without a care in the world.

Dark green eyes rose to her own and Regina could see it. The desire in Emma's eyes. She could feel it. It shot desire through her body, causing her once again to gain friction from the woman above her. Her hip ground into Emma, and all Emma did was look at her with that smoky smirk. Regina tried to catch the mouth inches away from her own only for it to be pulled away completely when Emma sat up.

It was Emma's turn, as Regina watched the woman shift; hands move behind the blonde's back. The former Queen heard the small click of the other woman's bra, and watched as it too was ripped off and thrown with less elegance than her own. All she could do was lie back and let her eyes roam the newly revealed fair skin.

She expected for a moment for Emma's nerves to return, but was pleasantly surprised when Emma leant forward crushing her lips to her own once more. Nipples graze against each other causing each woman to moan into their lover's mouth. Hearts beating fast in their owner's chest; only trying to out beat its twin.

Emma's stay upon Regina's mouth did not last for long. The brunette tilted her head slightly as Emma latched on her throat; and Regina could feel the woman's hot tongue against her pulse point. Felt the teeth gently drag against her flesh and allowed her eyes fall closed.

The blonde's hand rose again to trace the side of Regina's breast causing her to gasp and a feeling of pure arousal to pool in the pit of her stomach. Emma felt everywhere as Regina's hips began to roll. While Emma's trousers allowed for contact, it was not what she craved. She wanted heat…she wanted skin. Emma was far too dressed for liking.

"Stop" she breathed and felt Emma freeze against her. She blonde did not move, and Regina realised thought her fogged brain couldn't comprehend it…Emma thought she wanted her to actually stop. "Pants…off" Regina commanded breathlessly and felt Emma's smile against her skin. Emma captured Regina's earlobe, gently caressing it with her tongue. Regina gasped loudly, arching her back and her burning flesh against her lover's only igniting her desire further.

It was a request she wished she hadn't made when Emma moved completely off her, instead coming to kneel between her legs. It was with trembling hands Emma tried to undo her buckle on her jeans, causing Regina to grin. Sitting up Regina, tugged upon the leather and saw it unfasten instantly. Ceasing upon the opportunity she popped the button open too. She heard Emma's chuckle and didn't care if she looked needy. She was. She was desperate for this woman and a pair of jeans wouldn't stop her.

Emma leant forward over her just for a second allowing her breasts to sway dangerously close to Regina's face; and the brunette fought the urge to seize one of the pink nubs with her mouth. If she did that Emma would be distracted and stop the removal of the damn jeans. She did however risk a lick. The flat of her tongue was dragged upwards and Regina couldn't help but groan at the taste and feel of the skin beneath her mouth. Emma's moan was deeper, more appreciating than her own but the jeans were still pulled off the longer legs and Regina heard the noise as they hit the floor.

It was when Emma's hands took a hold of Regina's hips she looked down to see Emma's own underwear and been discarded too. Her mouth watered at the sight. Her eyes took in every detail of her lover's body; committing it memory. Every freckle, scar and curve. The body she knew so well.

At the tug of Emma's fingers, she realised the blonde was trying to remove her last remaining garment. As soon as Regina lifted her hips, unlike with Emma's own clothing it was with steady hands her underwear was take off. Emma's steady hands trailed down her calves as if worshipping them. It was if time slowed down. It slowed to a painful pace and all Regina could do is watch as it happened. The discarded item too was thrown to the floor.

Emma seemed to hover above her for a moment. Taking in every inch of Regina's body. She saw Emma lick her lips slightly and felt her breath hitch. Hooded eyes rose to her own, and the older woman felt as if she could drown in them.

Regina let out a resounding cry as one of Emma's knees slid upwards coming into direct contact with her core. The noise continued through heightened in pitch as the blonde's mouth seized her nipple entirely. The feeling of Emma's tongue against her felt amazing. Slamming her eyes closed she felt her body take over, as she felt her hips grind slowly against the thigh pushing into her. Emma tongue tracing every dip and peak; devouring her completely.

She felt Emma's fingertips ghost beneath her other breast, not giving anything firm or solid. Emma was teasing her, and she loved it. She could feel the tongue swirling around her nipple and the teeth grazing the sensitive flesh. She groaned in disappointment as Emma's mouth left her, only to cry loudly as she felt the other woman's warm teasing breath upon her. Her nipples only puckered further, almost painfully tight. She was on fire.

Emma shifted, one leg now straddling Regina's. The move ground Emma's thigh further still into her. Regina's heart was beating at an impossibly rate; it was all she could hear over their laboured breathing. Her body was turning to goo beneath Emma's nimble fingers and skills mouth. Emma seemed to be determined one way or another to stop her from breathing.

The woman above her rolled her hips causing both women's cores to grind against their lover's thighs, and their groans to resound around the room. She was lost to the woman above her, and yet she had found the place she was meant to be. Emma gave one last swirl of her tongue Regina's taut bud before moving on. Leaving her panting and wanting more.

A small trail of kisses was given to top of Regina's breast and collarbone before the brunette easily caught the woman's mouth. A firm hand was placed against Regina's hip causing her heart to pound a little harder. The hand stopped her hips from bucking against the toned thigh. Stopping the contact she needed. Regina openly groaned into the mouth assaulting hers.

"I've missed you" Emma whispered almost directly onto her lips, and it took all of Regina's self-control not to cry out again. Lifting her hand lazily she traced slowly down Emma's back from her shoulder blade, only to pull Emma closer once she reached her bottom. Drawing her in, she felt the woman's gasp against her lips. "Missed you too" the brunette breathed back. Regina wrapped one leg around Emma's hips grinding into the fair skin, and feeling Emma's own arousal against her own, with a low groan. Emma ground her own hips, causing a bolt of electricity to shoot threw Regina's body to her very core. The grin against her lips told her, Emma was not to be out done.

Regina could see the determination in the blonde's face, and she couldn't help but smile as Emma pulled away slightly, both openly panting. The former Queen felt as if her chest was on fire as it tried to drag in oxygen. The green eyes that bore into her were almost black with pure desire, and yet she saw love. Genuine, undiluted love; and that did more to her insides than the primal look upon Emma's face. Regina gulped slightly.

Emma's dark eyes lowered to her lips again, and Regina could almost taste her lover's breath. Regina gasped, lifting from the bed and coming to rest upon her shoulder blade as she tried to maintain contact with the hand that had grazed her most sensitive areas. "So beautiful" Emma moaned so low it would have been mistaken for a growl. The hand gently brushed against Regina's clit, and a jolt of pure pleasure ran from the small bundle of nerves, through her out her entire body. Regina did not force Emma to move. Her hips buckled though as tried to remain calm. She saw Emma's flashing smile as her fingers plunged into Regina's core, the older woman's mouth opened in a silent cry.

Emma seized the open mouth, with her own; teasing her with her tongue, teeth and lips. Every part of her mouth was being invaded, and Regina could do was suck, nip and tug against her offering. Emma's hand had stilled allowing Regina to familiarise herself with the sensation. She was familiar and she was ready. She arched her back, trying to pull the woman in deeper. Emma's knee pushed into her, causing pressure on Regina's already swollen clit. The movement caused Emma's fingers in further, and Regina allowed the fire to consume her entirely as Emma started her slow but firm pace.

Regina met each of Emma's thrusts. It was a well-rehearsed dance and they both knew the beat. The blonde always knew how to move against her, the right pressure and speed; as Regina fed hungrily on the mouth upon hers. Her finger threaded through Emma's shortened hair, pulling her firmer against her. The length felt odd against her fingertips but she felt Emma's shuddering breath and loved it all the same.

Regina could feel her hips bucking more vigorously and knew Emma would keep up with the pace. Her body was trying to get the invading fingers to brush the spot her body pleaded for. A well placed thumb moved against her clit, causing her gasp. She couldn't keep kissing Emma, she tried but she was panting too hard. Emma took what she could but soon gave up, placing kisses against the former Mayor's jawline and with a swirl of her tongue lashed onto her probably already marked skin. She felt Emma's hum against her pulse point and allowed her eyes to roll shut.

It felt real. Emma was here above her, no space could be found between them as their body writhed against one another. She could feel Emma's arousal coating her thigh as both ground into each other. Hear Emma's laboured near her ear. Emma was now pushing into her at bruising rate as Regina's leg was pinning the blonde in place above her. Emma was filling her completely with a slight curl of her fingers. She heard Emma's possible cry of pain as she gripped the hair in between her fingers. All she could do as groan in apology and hope Emma understood.

Emma bite down gently against pulse point, the swirl of her warm tongue calmed any pain it may have caused. The blonde pushed into her with a twist finding the spot her body was so eager for the other woman to find. Her body arched with a whimper. The second time it happened it caused Regina's body to slam upwards and she heard Emma's cry of surprise, followed by a low groan as both women were forced into a sitting like position.

Regina openly ground herself into Emma as both woman panted, trying to steal kisses from the other's mouth. The blonde's hips were now frantic against hers and it was causing Regina closer and closer to the edge. She wanted to wait but her body wouldn't stop. Emma was clinging to her tightly, their new position making it almost impossible for her to move within her. Instead it was caused Emma palm constant contact with her clit as the blonde's hips drove her digits in closer.

The former Queen was going to come undone, as it was going to happen soon. The pitch and forcefulness of her lover's breath against her lips told her Emma would soon be following her into the abyss. She felt lightheaded though her body seemed sluggish in its desperate attempt to find its release. Regina managed to slide her hand between them and felt Emma's swollen nub beneath her fingertips.

She allowed Emma loud cry of pleasure to carry at the attention she gave the small bundle of nerve. Their position allowed for little more but as she felt herself about to explode she tried her hardest to get the other woman to follow her. A battle she lost as she felt and heard Emma's next breathless confession, "I love you".

The cry that fell from her lips was a mix of anguish, awe and pleasure. Everything pushed her so far over the edge all she could do was fall. Slamming her eyes shut she allowed her to scream as loudly as her body wanted. Her whimpers, groans and moans mixed with Emma's as Regina felt the younger woman shudder against her thigh and fingers. The blonde had followed her perfectly and conducted her as only she knew how. Emma's head fell to the brunette's shoulder as they both rocked against each other, trying to gain every last shudder of their shared release.

It took only moments for Regina's body to give up the fight to remain right causing them both to fall backwards. Emma's length fell against hers; her skin hummed with the contact and their love making. Emma continued moving inside her though the pace lessened as she rode out her orgasm. Emma's laboured breath tickled her moistened skin, as the blonde tried to return them both back to reality.

She groaned in disappointment when the invading digits were removed from her core, and even heard her own cry when a gentle kiss was placed beneath her earlobe. Emma however apart from that did not move to distance herself from Regina. Legs entangled and hearts beating faster than they should seemingly trying to huddle together to get closer to their twin. She felt Emma's arm move, and a hand clasp lazily in her own.

Her skin buzzed and brain seemed empty of all thoughts but the woman lying upon her. Emma's hand in her own, body pressed against her and the breath against her throat all served as an anchor to reality. Neither woman spoke as their breathing levelled out and they basked in their own release, and their partner's presence.

Emma's gentle breath against her skin soothed her. Told her it was all real. Emma was here, just made love to her and proclaimed what Regina had believed had gone. Love. Emma did love her. Emma had lied to protect her. She'd been wrong in her belief that it was Regina that needed protecting but she understood.

She couldn't help but smile at Emma's silence which was soon followed by deep breathing. It appeared the woman lying on top of her had fallen asleep. Turning her head the former Queen placed a gentle kiss upon the mess of blonde hair next to her face; letting the woman sleep on. Regina loved the feeling of Emma above her, and would choose to sleep like this for as long as they could; knowing Emma would eventually move to her side of the bed as the night progressed. Breathing in deeply Regina inhaled the blonde, committing it to memory. "I love you too" Regina replied gently as sleep started to claim her as well; feeling Emma tighten the grip upon her hand.

She wasn't asleep but neither was she awake. She felt oddly weightless as if she was floating. Regina felt warm and snug within the sheets around her, a feeling she had not experienced for a very long time. Since the last night Emma had slept beside her. Part of her wanted to digest everything that Emma had told her last night except her brain wouldn't connect with the events of the previous evening. Her sleep fogged brain could only acknowledge one thing; Emma had come home.

Regina allowed her eyes to open slowly pleasantly surprised that the light outside was only just starting to show; casting the darkened room in a slight purple glow. Shifting her head to the side she saw the bright numbers on her alarm clock beaming at her. It was only 3.27am. She wasn't sure what time they'd fallen asleep but it hadn't been for long and yet she felt almost completely rested. Surprisingly she felt no hangover luring over her; though she could just as easily fall back to sleep until it was time to get up.

Regina snugged down beneath the sheet above her. She moved to curl up against her sleeping partner only to find the bed was empty beside her. The familiar rush of dread and anxiety crept through her body. Emma wouldn't have just left. Not after what they'd just shared. Most certainly not at 3.30 in the morning. She couldn't have left her…again. The older woman had been dozing for a while, drifting in and out of sleep and she hadn't heard Emma get up. She had heard no noise from the blonde and felt no disturbances during her sleeping hours.

She sat up a little too quickly feeling her head spin a little; it appeared she was going to suffer a little from the alcohol she'd consumed last night. At first the panic was fuelling her scan of the empty room, but then she saw them. Emma's jeans though they weren't thrown over of their rightful place, the back of her vanity chair. They were in a breadcrumb type trail with her other clothing, including Regina's from the open bedroom door to out of sight at the bottom of the bed. Then she saw the soft glow creeping out from beneath their ensuite bathroom door.

Grabbing her robe she quickly wrapped it around herself, though it was not needed. Emma had seen her naked several times and the early July temperature did not require it. She took the distance between bed and door in only a few strides. Listening hard she heard no noise of distress nor any noise that indicated Emma needed any assistance. In fact the room seemed completely silent not even the sound of the shower or the water running. "Emma?" she called gently with a light rap of her knuckles upon the door, and waited for her response.


End file.
